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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to call the police on my neighbour

23 replies

Patapouf · 22/08/2016 16:27

Last night our neighbour was making an almighty racket at about 10:30 at night. At first I assumed it was a couple having an argument but after hearing the following:

'You little cunt you aren't even 8 years old and you're telling me what to do'
& 'you fucking liar you just can't let me be happy'

I decided to call 101. I'm the total opposite of a curtain twitcher and I'm partial to a lot of swearing myself but I was actually shocked by the language this woman was using when speaking with a a child. I could hear crying/whimpering and I was unsure if she was also being violent. Her screaming and shouting went on for over an hour before the police arrived and continued for the 30 mins the police spent there. They left but returned briefly this afternoon.

Would you have done the same or was I totally overreacting? Other neighbours where helpfully shouting out of their windows telling her to shut up...

OP posts:

acasualobserver · 22/08/2016 16:31

There was reason enough for the police to spend half an hour dealing with her. You did the right thing in calling them.

Ohwoolballs · 22/08/2016 16:31

Honestly, I would have rang the police too. That late and with children crying would have had me curtain twitching for sure.
I had to ring the police so often in my last flat for the DV that went on - and she never left him. ☹️

Dawndonnaagain · 22/08/2016 16:40

You've done the right thing. I wish you'd been my neighbour when I was eight.

limitedperiodonly · 22/08/2016 16:40

Do you have to ask?

Original poster

Patapouf · 22/08/2016 20:38

Ive just been worried about the little boy all day. limited do you have to post?
I suffer with anxiety and I've never called the police in my life. I wanted some confirmation that I did do the right thing. I don't know if I've made things worse for the child or whether it was a one off and the mum just completely lost it.

I don't think there can be any excuse for that language but i don't know if it warranted police involvement. It just didn't sit right with me at all.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/08/2016 20:40

You did the right thing.

NavyandWhite · 22/08/2016 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Missgraeme · 22/08/2016 20:51

I bet u would be feeling more shit right now if u hadn't rang them.....

YourNewspaperIsShit · 22/08/2016 20:59

Yes you did the right thing, I wish everyone hadn't overlooked when these things happened to me. Sweeping it under the carpet is never the answer, there should be more neighbours like you when it comes to shitty parenting.

I have tourettes-like symptoms and if my neighbours reported me I wouldn't even be mad at them because nothing's worth the risk

McButtonwillow · 22/08/2016 21:03

You made the right decision op, I would like to think I would do the same in that situation.

Hope you are feeling a bit more reassured

Alibobbob · 22/08/2016 21:06

Absolutely the right thing to do. Just don't tell anyone it was you who called. Hopefully the Police and Social Workers will keep an eye on this family and help/support.

LikeIGiveAFrock · 22/08/2016 21:08

Whatever the outcome Pata you did the right thing

Athenajm80 · 22/08/2016 21:10

I had similar with an ex-neighbour. Basically, it turned out he'd suddenly had his 3 children sent to live with him (approx 2,5,8 yrs old) when their mum was held in prison on remand for abusing them. She later did a bunk from court or something and was on the run. Lovely sounding woman! I didn't find any of this out until I'd phoned social services and the police a couple of times.

I heard him shouting at the kids calling them cunts and telling them to fuck off, shut the fuck up, etc. I called the police the first few times as it didn't sit right with me. The police visited and told me afterwards that the children were physically ok, very happy and outgoing, well dressed, clean, no bruises etc. They said I'd done the right thing and that they would speak to social services and if I had any more concerns then to phone them at any time.

Social Services were also great. They'd send people out to speak to him and he was going to parenting classes. They also notified his support network (I think his mum?) so that they too could step up the support as he obviously was struggling to cope. Things did get a lot better with him, and the kids did genuinely seem to adore him. When he wasn't stressed he was a great dad (from what I heard and saw), which I know doesn't excuse the bad times and no one should be speaking to children like that. I think he just didn't have a clue about parenting and was stressed about suddenly having 3 children living with him that he was now totally responsible for. He'd had to give up his previous carefree life (I think the policeman said he'd lived with his parents before so presumably they helped out a lot when the children visited him, if the evil mother let him have contact) and suddenly move to a new area with this massive responsibility. I'd have struggled, although admittedly wouldn't have behaved like him (I hope!)
Sorry for highjacking, I meant to just leave a short message saying yes you did the right thing, I have done the same, but it turned into a bit of an essay - I blame the rum :)

Original poster

Patapouf · 22/08/2016 21:17

Thank you everyone

OP posts:

glitterwhip · 22/08/2016 21:21

Horrible ..maybe a call to social services as well. That would break my heart listening to that..I'd struggle not to go next door and wring her neck
That child needs help and obviously she does too

limitedperiodonly · 22/08/2016 21:24

I don't know if I've made things worse for the child

Oh, I see. Well, you won't know. You did what you did and FWIW I think that's right. I can't imagine the child's home life is any worse but it's possibly going to be better now the police have taken note.

TaterTots · 22/08/2016 21:36

Three times in a row I've had to deal with neighbours committing domestic violence (twice on both sides). The second time they initially convinced police all was okay - then they carried on shouting, unaware police were downstairs with me.

Last year I called the police on my neighbours after several high volume battles. While waiting I saw the elder child (more more than 8) trying to get the younger children out of the house. That was all I needed to know.

HeyOverHere · 22/08/2016 21:42

You did the right thing. You're a good neighbor, and a good person.

Elphame · 22/08/2016 21:56

If the police felt they needed to stay for 30 minutes and to return again later then you definitely did the right thing.

Original poster

Patapouf · 22/08/2016 22:04

glitter I thought I'd need her name to inform SS. I have never had a conversation with her. She is a floor above and two flats across in the adjacent building. Only knew which door to direct the police to because she had her windows open/lights on and was stood right by the window.

OP posts:

Maisy313 · 22/08/2016 22:20

Tatertots that is heartbreaking, did things get any better for the children involved? OP you 100% did the right thing, your call might be the jigsaw piece they needed to get the real picture.

glitterwhip · 22/08/2016 22:31

Oh yes op you probably do need her name of course.
Although where I'm from the police routinely inform social services if they are called to any incident where a child or children was even in the house so it could well be that they will get involved

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 22/08/2016 22:47

You absolutely did the right thing. Some years back I had really off the scale dysfunctual neighbours, SS were great and thanked me for keeping them posted.

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