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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my sister to do this...

45 replies

worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 14:36

We have used my sister for years for our haircuts, ever since DD17 & DS16 were children. Recently DD had a very specific vision of how she wanted her hair (basically blonde for most of it, with ashy light brown roots). She went to my sister's salon to have it done, and came out with extremely dark brown hair, with five or six highlights in the bottom half of her hair. DD paid for this herself and is absolutely distraught (says she hates it, wants to shave it off etc.). She's texted her aunt today to say she isn't happy, and is nothing like the picture she showed her. My sister has said she can come in for an appointment to see what they can do, but this dark brown colour is nearer to her natural colour than what she wanted (completely untrue, her hair has always been a dirty blonde/brown colour). I'm considering phoning up my sister tomorrow and asking her if she can fix the hair for free, as DD had the picture open throughout the whole appointment and she seems to have just been ignored, in favor of my sister trying a new technique for dying hair, which clearly hasn't worked.
AIBU to ask that of her? I understand that there are materials involved in the cost, but surely doing her hair the way she wanted the first time would avoid this? Myself and DH have said we will cover the cost of her getting it fixed (if need be at a family friend who used to work for my sister, she has done DD's hair before but is expensive now), but we would prefer it if the original hairdresser could cover her mistake.
AIBU?

OP posts:
worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 16:21

garlic thank you, and if DD didn't have such strange hair (often fades to an orangey-brown colour) we would go DIY, but we're weighing up our options with professional at the moment, only because DD has such a short time until she goes to school and wants to make sure her hair looks okay for her last year of school pictures.

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 21/08/2016 16:22

I'm confused about the washing mud comment.
Surely properly applied hair dye should not leave residue that washes out?

roasted · 21/08/2016 16:26

Given your sister has done this to your DD, I would offer to pay for her to have her hair fixed at another salon. And I would never send the family back to your sister's hair salon, because clearly she is a terrible hairdresser.

She may well fall out with you over this, but it's not exactly your fault, is it? She sounds pretty dreadful as an aunt and as a hairdresser.

worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 16:30

breakfast sister said this was where the dye had been washed over the blonde highlights, not giving it enough time to stick, and also excess dye coming out?? DD was born with blonde hair so apparently dye will slide off it no matter what, even though plenty of people I know have had dyed hair with blonde, and not had it slide off

roasted contemplating this more and more now, reading back over the texts she was quite rude to DD and patronizing, as if DD didn't know her hair colour and what she asked for, and then asking if she just wanted more highlights, which wouldn't change her roots which are too dark, and has then said she'll have to wait until she has a day with free slots, meaning DD can't work around her work schedule. It's a shame because DD only ever used to trust her aunt with her hair Sad

OP posts:
Merrymumoftwo · 21/08/2016 16:33

Have to agree with roasted. I would go elsewhere to get it fixed. Could the friend you trust suggest something temporarily to help the process?

ImperialBlether · 21/08/2016 16:34

I'd take her elsewhere and just deny it to your sister. "What? You said wash it and she did!"

DixieWishbone · 21/08/2016 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 16:37

merry I'm considering phoning her, DD has now said she can bare it for a day or two if it is definitely going to be fixed soon, and has said she'll help pay towards the cost of getting it fixed

imperial sounds like a good tactic...

OP posts:
worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 16:40

Dixie from talking my DD more it seems she was even more scared to say anything because my sister's partner was there Sad we don't have much contact with anyone outside of my mother & DH's children & partners, so more worried about there being an impact on DD than myself. DD bursts into tears every time she has to look at her hair, and this is the longest I've ever seen her have it up (it's been in a bun since Thursday, which is when she had it done) DD is trying to arrange a consultation with my sister, and if she says she can't/won't do anything it's on to the family friend I'm afraid

OP posts:
Spring2016 · 21/08/2016 16:51

I would try and take her to a place that specializes in colour, who will be able to replicate the picture or at least do something that won't damage her hair badly, that will suit your daughter more. Not back to the sister who doesn't listen to what the customer wants. Good luck.

Lorelei76 · 21/08/2016 16:53

OP
In case I wasn't clear, I meant that your dd buy a home colour stripping kit, not that she gets it done by aunt
Also I'm not sure but I think posters here have easier ways of removing hair dye
I've removed a too dark semi but I appreciate a semi is different

worriedmother1929 · 21/08/2016 16:54

Spring family friend uses Olaplex, which I have been told by DD is amazing. Will look into how much it will cost, and how long it is before she can get it done, possibly get DD to message the family friend on Facebook and go from there

OP posts:
Smurfit · 22/08/2016 01:52

I just had the same problem a couple of days ago... The colour was lovely but wasn't at all what I was expecting or what I asked for. I had an ombré thing going on (more by accident than on purpose) and despite me checking, the roots came up far too light and the ombré was gone.

She did darken the roots for me with a toner which helped but I'm still not entirely happy with it.

That is the last time I let the recently qualified hairdresser touch my hair (the cuts are always by my main stylist)

GarlicMistake · 22/08/2016 02:04

DD was born with blonde hair so apparently dye will slide off it

WHAT????!!! When your sister did her training, I think she accidentally went into the "Bullshit Your Way To Success" course - and never realised she'd come out knowing fuck all about hair.

Blonde hair is simply hair with less pigment in it. It has no magical properties.

Hair dyes work by opening the cuticle - the outside of hairs are sheathed in colourless scales, like very tiny snakes Grin Permanent & semi-permanent products lift these scales up a bit, forcing the pigments into the inner part of the hair. The after-care product smooths them down again.

Like millions of natural blondes everywhere, I've successfully used all kinds of colouring products. For 45 years and counting.

It is true that people's hair varies in both cuticle thickness and chemical reactivity. Mine used to be quite resistant - not because it was blonde, but because it was thick & tough. Products didn't 'slide off' it, though, I just needed a longer processing time.

If your sister's genuinely coming out with bollocks like that, you should never let her near the hair of anyone you might want to speak to again!

kali110 · 22/08/2016 02:29

GarlicMistake completely agree with this! i've never heard this, where is this school of bullshit Grin
Amazingly my hair was always able to be dyed as a teen Hmm

You can still get colour come out of your hair, doesn't have to mean it hasn't been applied wrongly.
Can happen for a few washes after as no colour is permanent, or the hair is very porous so dye easily comes out.
My colours comes out and fade quickly as parts of it have been bleached for i don't know how many years.
I would go to someone who knows what they're doing with a colour reset, i would not strip it myself. ( you can end up needing to put a colour over the top of it).
I second the head and shoulders shampoo. They were always recommended to us to help lift colour.
Tbh i would go somewhere else.
I wouldn't trust her again on your dd's hair.
It sounds like way to much hassle.
I wouldn't trust someone who didn't listen to me and did what they wanted.

Spring2016 · 22/08/2016 02:38

Good luck, hope to read an update once you and your daughter decide what to do. Maybe some lighter highlights near her face would make itvsuit, kind of like wearing a brightly coloured neck scarf to lessen the severity of a black dress near the face on someone who gets washed out by black.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/08/2016 03:46

Yep, shocked at the comment about blonde hair not holding dye..

Blonde hair that has been bleached and done too much MAY become so porous that dye no longer stays in and washes out much faster, but naturally blonde hair doesn't have this problem.

Doesn't sound as if your DD is THAT blonde anyway that it would present any issues with colouring (usually the issue is that the colour takes more than expected with a brighter or stronger result).

I would not be happy at all - DD has paid like any other customer, she should have it put right like any other customer OR a refund and she can go elsewhere to get it fixed.

MidniteScribbler · 22/08/2016 08:54

I would write your sister off as a bad joke, and pay for DD's hair to be done properly at another salon. Then don't bother going back to your sister ever again.

Coconutty · 22/08/2016 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inertia · 22/08/2016 09:36

I would just get everyone to stay away from your sister. You can't trust her to get it right, especially as correcting a messed up colour job is harder than doing what your daughter wanted in the first place.

I'd take her to a professional who specialises in fixing bad colour jobs, getting a recommendation if possible.

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