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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

US road trip. Should I take DD out of school?

138 replies

Dogsandbabies · 21/08/2016 10:21

My DD is 4 and due to start school in September. DP and I want to go to the US for a road trip, total of 3 weeks. The plan is to go to museums, theatres, sights. Incorporate New York, Washington, Chicago.

AIBU to want to take her out of school for 2 weeks (we would be using half term) in February? She won't be 5 yet so I think legally I am OK to do that, but would you do it?

OP posts:

glueandstick · 21/08/2016 16:02

Go for it. I hear they have children in cold places. They have things called thicker clothing and more of it.

You'll have a great time. There is more to life than Disney.

TreadingTheBoards · 21/08/2016 16:03

Definitely do it! What an amazing experience, I bet she'll love it.

Done something similar with my 6 year old last year. She had a fabulous time.

sneepy · 21/08/2016 16:37

If you can't go in summer, why don't you go in October? Take 2 days either side of the half term, fly to jfk, drive up to Syracuse then slowly down to Philadelphia and back to nyc. You'll be there for Halloween, the leaves will be turning, there will be corn mazes and octoberfests and everything will be pumpkin or maple flavored.

Halloween is huge in the states and will be an absolute blast for your DD, definitely something she'll remember!

For all those saying a little cold won't hurt, it's not the cold, it's the snow and ice and the fact that everything will be shut for the season. being snowbound in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere with a 4yo is no fun.

Iloveowls2 · 21/08/2016 17:00

Taking her out of school fine. But it will be freezing. Will she be allowed in theatre at that age and if so will she sit still and quietly for a couple of hours? Could you do the road trip over Easter when it's warmer snd only kiss one week of school?

BummyMummy77 · 21/08/2016 17:01

Yes and people who live in those cold places spend a shit ton on winter gear which is fine if you live there but not worth it for a visit.

People who live in cold places are also used to driving in the conditions but when they would rarely try a trip like this for pleasure.

I've been here almost 5 years and driving on snow and ice still freaks me out.

BummyMummy77 · 21/08/2016 17:03

And you can't just bundle them up in thick clothing and stick them in the car. You have to make sure the car is preheated first so a road trip would be an almighty ballache.

LeopardIsTheNewBlack · 21/08/2016 17:07

What an odd time and location for a road trip. Driving in NYC, DC and Chicago is an absolute nightmare. I would take a train between cities and public transportation when I get there. I'm very experienced driving in winter weather but still avoid it like the plague, I would never plan a road trip around that time.
BTW I've lived in Finland and now live on the East Coast, and would much rather be in Finland February .

AppleMagic · 21/08/2016 17:28

There are LOADS of nice places between NY and Chicago. We did a similar trip this summer with a 4yr old and 2yr old. Some of the best state parks in the US are in upstate NY. The Adirondacks. Thousand Islands, Toronto and Niagara Falls if you fancy a trip into Canada. Lots of family friendly hotels. Loads of lovely beaches on the "third coast". I suspect a lot of posters haven't actually been.

We find those type of trips work really well with our kids and the downtime napping in the car helps them cope with general holiday exhaustion.

But I agree going in winter means you'd probably be better off flying between cities or going further South/West.

AppleMagic · 21/08/2016 17:33

Alternatively you could have a pretty amazing winter sports holiday nearish your relatives in Syracuse. Your 4yr old could learn to ski.

Poptart27 · 21/08/2016 17:41

Apart from a few posters, jeezus people are so judge mental and cranky! Fully living up to the British way, aren't ya?

OP, to answer your original question, yes I would take my dd out of school for a trip like that. Have fun!

Redsrule · 21/08/2016 17:43

Well I am a teacher and I would say go for it! When my three were 7, 5 and 3 my DH had a six week break between jobs and instead of him doing locum work we packed them up in a camper van and roamed across Europe for July and the start of August. It was fabulous and the elder two remember it very well, although DD1 mainly remembers seeing lots of willies in museums, such as David. Makes me smile 20 plus years later.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 21/08/2016 17:51

Op if you've researched it, are happy with the weather and driving, spoken to your friends and want to do it then go ahead.
I don't understand it when people say your 4 yr old will have no memory of it so you shouldn't do it.
Sometimes it's not about the child, it's about what you want to do. It's your life and you should get to do some things because you want to do it. It's hardly a cruel and horrible thing to be doing to your child.

AppleMagic · 21/08/2016 17:56

I agree LiveLife. Our DC may have no memory of the trip we took this summer but they still really enjoyed it at the time and we will remember it.

TwentyCups · 21/08/2016 18:01

She wouldn't remember Disney either but most people wouldn't say not to take her for that reason!

revealall · 21/08/2016 18:08

Twenty but Disney is a very repeatable experience. A road trip is an expensive one off. People do appreciate it's a fantastic trip ( if not the ideal time if year) but possibly not at it finest planned around a four year old.

AppleMagic · 21/08/2016 18:15

Most US road trips work out significantly cheaper than Disneyland in my experience, particularly if you can stay with family.

NPowerShitShower · 21/08/2016 18:16

I live in DC. February is brutally cold both here and in NYC. May and October are perfect for this kind of trip. Still not the best idea to take DC out of school then though.

Noofly · 21/08/2016 18:47

I grew up in Massachusetts and went to college in Maine. I would absolutely positively not do the trip you are suggesting in February. If you get stuck in a small town in the middle of nowhere in a snowstorm, not only does it mean being snowed in, but it can also mean no electricity depending on your accommodation.

The trip itself sounds great. My DC would have been happy to do a road trip at that age. One of my favourite holidays was the one when I was 5 and my parents took us on the train across Canada and then back again (father wouldn't fly).

SuburbanRhonda · 21/08/2016 20:37

Fully living up to the British way, aren't ya?

iwantanewcar · 21/08/2016 20:49

As your child will not be compulsory school age (ie the start of the term after she turns 5) it cannot be recorded as unauthorised absence. As LEGALLY she does NOT have to be in school. So yes go on a lovely holiday. However having lived on the east coast of the USA for several years that is not great timing for a road trip. Over 20 years on and I still shudder at the thought of driving and being out in freezing rain. The elongated drops froze to ice as they hit the ground. So everywhere was an icerink. But do have fun, whereever you go!

Motherfuckers · 21/08/2016 20:56

What is the 'British way' poptart? And where are you from?

Blu · 21/08/2016 21:12

AppleMagic - yes I have been upstate Ontario (and on up to montreal and Quebec and Novia Scotia, and Toronto and Niagara in both summer and the winter.

So you've been in the summer. Been in winter?

LOL Poptart - many of the people saying it wouldn't be their choice at that time of year are American / living in America.

clicknclack · 21/08/2016 21:18

Rental cars do not have chains or studded tyres and your agreement doesn't allow you to use chains even if you buy them. I've driven a good number of times in February in NY state in rental cars and they don't do well in the conditions unless you rent a bigger and heavier all wheel drive. It is not like driving your own car that is ready for the conditions. If a storm comes through especially near Chicago it will blow your plans to hell. Lake effect snow and freezing rain (awful awful stuff) and freeway closures make traveling that time of year a real gamble. I've driven a bunch in UT in winter for weeks at a time and their storms are big and snowy but it is different from the East Coast ones.

If you insist on doing this please buy emergency blankets, a shovel, a candle, emergency food and water and a big thing of cat litter.

Oh, also pay for all the insurance, a good number of times I've lost a windscreen on a rental car in winter because of grit chips and then overnight freezes and it isn't cheap.

I also agree that many fun touristy things are often closed that time of year.

clicknclack · 21/08/2016 21:21

Apple magic, Adirondacks in February are not a whole lot of fun to drive in, I've done it a number of times.

I'm saying this as someone who loves family road trips and has done a lot of them in the U.S as I live here.

Original poster

Dogsandbabies · 21/08/2016 21:43

Thanks so much for your help. I am so glad I asked you all. I could potentially delay until April and use the Easter break. Would that make the weather issue less bad? I wish I could do August but I genuinely can't!

OP posts:

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