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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave the spider alone?

46 replies

WalrusGumboot · 20/08/2016 22:53

Not too small spider ran across our bedroom wall and disappeared behind the bedside cabinet (my side) before dp could get a jug and piece of paper to catch it. Dp is now pissed off because I don't want it all pulled out and the spider escorted off the premises. I'm feeding the baby and trying to get her off to sleep and it would probably be a futile exercise anyway.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/08/2016 00:09

You can get CBT that's specifically tailored towards arachnophobia.

I know some zoos run therapy courses too, although having said that, I bet they're not cheap.

Lbee123 · 21/08/2016 00:18

Hmmm okay well in that case it's worth putting the referral in. Thank you Smile

Yeah I can imagine.. Also I wonder whether they would use a form of expose therapy? In which case CBT would definitely be more preferable ha.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2016 00:31

The zoos do but that's at the very last stage of the course. I believe it's very successful.

Having said that, even I would draw the line at actually holding one of the scuttling little bastards Shock Grin

FurkinA · 21/08/2016 00:47

^ove or what? I'm only scared of poisonous ones or ones I haven't a clue what they are.
Sorry if that doesn't sound very sympathetic but I would genuinely like to know^

It's not a rational fear so
You can't really justify it.. Though personally I am from a place with several kinds of poisonous spiders so that may be part of my fear. The idea that I might try and catch one and it crawl up makes me want to vomit.

I've seen people call it a female specific phobia before on Mn.. Almost like that means it's not legitimate.

But I think really it's that men are even more phobic at being perceived as wimpy. So they don't go screaming but I very rarely see men who genuinely like

Original poster
WalrusGumboot · 21/08/2016 06:57

Well we survived the night unscathed, hurrah!

I don't have a phobia but I do still get a little shiver run up my back when I catch sight of one. I'd rather not share space if I can help it. But my overriding feeling is to live and let live and that they didn't choose to be a spider any more than we chose to be human, so killing them would be rather unfair.

Totally understand the plight of the Aussies etc who have dangerous ones to deal with, have been there myself and it does change things somewhat (although if I had the chance I did always check Google before dispatching vs escorting).

I feel for anyone with a proper phobia it must be awful. My own mother has one and thankfully she hasn't passed it on to me. I really wish she'd try to get some help with it.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 21/08/2016 07:31

I know 2 men who are very, very frightened of spiders. One of them has had therapy and it helped initially but sort of wore off over time.

HarryElephante · 21/08/2016 07:40

oysterbabe, surely the thing to do is deal with the fear rather than kill the spider.

I am scared of dogs. Shall I go around killing them all?

Oysterbabe · 21/08/2016 08:12

I don't kill spiders Confused
I get someone to remove them.

CatThiefKeith · 21/08/2016 08:16

Arachnophobia is not female specific. My dad is terrified of them, which is ridiculous, as he was a builder before he retired.

I spent many a lucrative weekend as a teenager cleaning the spiders out of brick frogs so he could lay them. Grin

Wellywife · 21/08/2016 08:27

I tend to ignore them but DD is terrified. (She has picked up beetles, worms etc from an early age but can't deal with spiders). So if she's around I'll catch them in a glass and put them outside. My lovely Gran used to call them gardeners friends.

outofdepth · 21/08/2016 08:33

YANBU op

Agree with crucru they are a force for good

I have www.lakeland.co.uk/20455/Spider-Catcher-Vacuum-Insect-Catcher - it's fab

J0kersSmile · 21/08/2016 08:43

I would have moved the bedside table and got rid.

Some spiders bite and with a baby in the house I'd hate for the spider to crawl up and bite it.

I get rid of them without screaming but I don't like them. No idea why. My dd screams and screams and I haven't passed that on to her. My Ds on the hand is my spider catcher and picks them up and puts them outside.

GladAllOver · 21/08/2016 10:19

Spiders are very beneficial. It's far better to have spiders in the house than flies and mosquitoes.
Leave them alone.

Original poster
WalrusGumboot · 21/08/2016 11:01

I hear you Jokers but tbf there are probably loads of spiders in the house that I don't even know about so I'm not going to stress about the one I do know about. In fact there was another one in the bathtub this morning (different type so defo not the same one I saw last night) much easier to catch Smile

OP posts:
HarryElephante · 21/08/2016 12:35

Spiders won't go up to a baby and bite it.

Put spiders outside by all means if they scare you. But not because they are going to go up to your baby and bite it because that won't happen.

FurkinA · 21/08/2016 15:43

It is widely known spiders have a code of honour that prevents them biting babies HmmThey definitely have mine, but maybe mine deserved it...

MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/08/2016 15:52

Leave it be...I used to a have a pet spider that lived it the corner of our wet room his/her name was Killah and we would feed it woodlice Grin

Original poster
WalrusGumboot · 21/08/2016 16:31

Sad I feel sad for the woodlice. I don't understand - were you going outside to fetch them to feed your spider??

OP posts:
MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/08/2016 19:19

No Walrus they would just appear in the house we never hunted for them...he would catch them anyway so we just helped him Grin

Original poster
WalrusGumboot · 21/08/2016 20:59

Aww. I've never seen a woodlouse indoors. That's the kind of critter I could really get on board with!

OP posts:
ProseccoBitch · 21/08/2016 21:10

I'd have left him alone too.

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