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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH is being s bit of a childish dick

66 replies

ForFiveMinutes · 20/08/2016 13:34

Out for the day at a local tourist attraction with some family members, slight disagreement over parking space. While I might have told him to fuck off, I think throwing car keys at me and stomping off and getting a train home is possibly a slight over reaction??? I often wonder how many times more I can put up with this type of behaviour......

OP posts:

ayeokthen · 20/08/2016 14:32

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain that makes sense to me. We both came from very abusive marriages (my XH and his XW were physically and verbally abusive) so maybe that's why we don't speak aggressively to each other. Not saying that's the right way to be, but it's the right way for us if that makes sense?

APlaceOnTheCouch · 20/08/2016 14:33

If you have a relationship where you regularly swear at each other then yy I think his behaviour is worse than your's. I hate people who throw keys. It's dangerous. Stomping off and getting a train home is ott.
Does he have form for spoiling what are supposed to be 'special days'?
otoh if you never usually swear at each other then I can see why he was annoyed that you criticised his driving and swore.
But, unlike a lot of PPs, I don't know anyone who takes 'fuck off' as an instruction

babyboomersrock · 20/08/2016 14:40

I have a life of living on egg shells never knowing when a casual remark will result in an explosion

In that case, OP, go over to Relationships instead of AIBU and give some other examples

Nanny0gg · 20/08/2016 14:50

Is this right?

OP suggested not parking too close to the next car.
DH called OP several names and told her to shut up.
OP told him to fuck off.
DH went home on the train.

If this is right, I don't thing the OP was being entirely unreasonable.

WorraLiberty · 20/08/2016 14:55

That's how the story ended up, yes.

Binkybix · 20/08/2016 14:56

I think given what went before it, your 'fuck off' was entirely justified.

Madinche1sea · 20/08/2016 15:01

OP there are obviously wider issues here and I don't think anyone on MN can really make a call about who was BU based on the info you've given and the fact that we weren't there. What words did DH use towards you?

Everyone is different I suppose, but I've known DH 15 years and he would never dream of swearing at me and he would definitely be furious and feel very disrespected if so ever spoke to him in that way.

JassyRadlett · 20/08/2016 15:02

I'm always amazed by the number of people who think it's terrible 'nagging' behaviour to point out to the driver that they are at risk of scratching the next car / making it difficult for the passenger to get out of the car.

Drivers being sensitive souls who should not be expected to listen to any suggestions while driving. Apparently.

Jackie0 · 20/08/2016 15:07

Fuck Off isn't a casual remark, it's about as bad as it gets and I would have gone home too.
I don't know what kind of marriage has him calling you names and you telling him to Fuck Off but I'd suggest you aren't suited.
Are you married long ? Children ?

JudyCoolibar · 20/08/2016 15:23

To be honest, if DH got arsey and called me several names publicly, he'd be lucky if "Fuck off" was all I said to him.

HouseOfGingerbread · 20/08/2016 15:30

Clearly different relationships have different types of dialogue. For me telling someone to fuck off would not be a huge crime, especially under the circumstances outlined. And telling someone that they have parked badly is a world away from nagging or back seat driving. He sounds tedious I'm afraid.

Original poster

ForFiveMinutes · 20/08/2016 15:46

So I am now at home. DH is sitting in front of the tv watching sport so I think if that is what he actually wanted to do today then he should have said so. I am actually quite shocked by some of the comments but guess we all have different dynamics within our relationships, but I wouldn't have telling your DH to fuck off as a sackable offence!

OP posts:

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 20/08/2016 16:57

Well if he annoys you again at least you know how you can get rid of him in a hurry AIBU is such a strange place sometimes but I guess while I actually think you didn't overreact at all and he was a bit dickish, others have had different experiences and are more sensitive to different things. I'm surprised so many people are here to berate you for your entirely justified response and suggesting you are equally, if not more, at fault than your DH. Meh. Have a glass of wine and a shag this evening and forget about it

Memoires · 20/08/2016 22:20

I agree with Ijustatethekids. He sounds pretty nasty.

AskBasil · 20/08/2016 22:24

"I have a life of living on egg shells never knowing when a casual remark will result in an explosion"

That is a very bright red flag just there.

RowenaDahl · 20/08/2016 22:32

I had a huge row with XP once, got out of the car at the lights and walked 3 miles home. It was just the tip of the iceberg.....

Are you always offering helpful suggestions? Perhaps he is fed up of them?

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