AIBU to thinks it weird to be invited for dinner then host it in my house?!

[finlayargyle]

My sister invited myself, DH and 2 kids over for BBQ at her house. We were invited over a week ago. The weather today isn't great so she's making pulled pork instead. She's now told me her 19 year old daughter is having friends round for drinks and it might be a bit of a squeeze and could we have it in our house and she'll bring the food over.

DH is cross - he thinks why bother asking us and we now have to get house 'visitor' ready and do the clean up.

I agree but don't want to cause an argument with sis.

AIBU to say no to having it at ours?

I am not surprised DH is cross, he has been shown very little regard by his SIL. You might not mind but I can see why he does. Just say no, the house is not ready. It will feel strange for 5 minutes and then you will feel great relief.

This would be the perfect set up for me.
My house so don't have to travel anywhere and we can both drink. And I don't have to cook or pay.
Brilliant.
But it's up to you, say no if your dh is this Ott about it.,

I get this all the time - oh your garden is bigger than ours, your kitchen has a double oven so it's easier, you have a dishwasher etc etc. And also usually means that I have to get the house clean and spend the whole time running after everyone, cooking, getting drinks and clearing it all up again. Say no, save your sanity!!! We're seriously thinking of downsizing, i've got so fed up with it and being the ones with no room!

I host family gatherings all the time - our house is biggest. Other people often bring food/cook to make it fair. It doesn't bother me a bit, in fact I like it. Like a pp said, dh and I can both enjoy a drink, and the dc have all their things around them. Don't understand why your dh is so angry.

arethereanyleft beat me to it.
It sounds perfect, no messing with taxis or whose driving, in the comfort of your own home and your sister brings the food.

I would be made up!

YWNBU to say no, but it would be a bit unfriendly and ungracious.

Your other option is to suggest you all go out somewhere.

The clean up before, the clean up after , the hassle of it all , just say " no thanks".

Me & my parents do this sort of thing sometimes. Really, we're arranging to meet up & who's shopping/cooking, doesn't really matter where. Say we were due to go to my mums & the weather turns out better than expected, my mum might call and suggest bringing it here to eat in the garden instead. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, it's family.

She only asked and you can only say yes or no.

I think your DH is overreacting tbh. When we all flat shared this was common practice in our friendship group (say you had planned to have friends over and you got home to find your flat mate knee deep in cooking a romantic meal for Their be, you'd just move the venue). I don't tidy up for family either.

How messy is your house? She's offered to cook and bring the food. You just need to put a few plates out and sit around enjoying the food an company. I think she's being really nice to make everything and cart it over to your place. Your DH must be very angry inside if a suggestion like this upsets him so much.

For their boyfriend, that's a weird typo.

It's resolved. Rang her back to say come to ours and sure it'll be grand. But she says she's asked daughter and friends to stay upstairs and to come over whenever suits.

Again thank you for replies. When in doubt, Mumsnet it out!!

Bit OTT to be raging, really don't see the big deal if and if it is to you politely say no. Our friends wanted to host a murder mystery night and asked to do it at ours because it's bigger space was no hassel they done all the cooking and hosting didn't find it cheeky of them at all.

Glad you got it sorted OP! Hope you all have a fun evening!

it's your sister, surely you're close enough to tell her "no" and not feel awkward? I'd just tell my sis it wasn't convenient and suggest we all go to the pub instead.

Literally about to ask - why the BH is the 19yo not being told to bugger off elsewhere if the parents already have plans? Glad it's resolved!

My friends and I used to do this without a problem. If you know people well enough, the fact that your house isn'5 'visitor ready' doesn't matter.

I'm intrigued - how untidy are people's houses if they need a massive tidy before people can come round?

I would guess that your sister asked if she could bring the food over to yours because she thought it would be a more pleasant experience than eating dinner with a bunch of teenage girls drinking and laughing upstairs in her place. But if that doesn't work for you or your DH, just say so. She obviously has no problem expressing her preferences, why would you be shy about expressing yours? In my family this would be a total non-issue.