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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be scared of going back into education

49 replies

glittertree · 20/08/2016 07:10

Am I being unreasonable to feel terrified of going to college as a mature student ? I am 44 and have realised if I want to do something that I like I will need to study . It's been 27 yrs since I last went to school and I was never very clever then.
After getting married very young at 19 and having my 4 children I pretty much have dedicated my life to them.Ive had part time work cleaning and shop work but have hated it (I am not saying there is anything wrong with doing these jobs by the way )
Having had my last child and him now at school I decided if I really wanted to do something I should go for it now ! I applied and have been accepted.
The problem is now I am totally terrified I didn't realise I would have to go back and maths and computer skills would be included as well
I am totally stupid with numbers so much so I feel embarrassed think along the lines of I can't even do simple percentages algebra etc.
I'm actually wondering why I think I can do this I will fail miserably and look stupid and ridiculous sitting in a class full of young clever students.
I know I seem negative and I don't mean to be I am just wondering if anyone out there can reassure me or have felt the same as me and managed fine . I am already panicking because induction day is on Monday and someone said they will most likely make me sit a test to see what level I am at which won't be high !!

OP posts:

gunsandbanjos · 20/08/2016 09:40

I went to university as a mature student, I started uni when my daughter started school. Loved every minute of it!
Graduated with a first class honours in maths :)

Go for it, I'm so glad I did it.

Sofabitch · 20/08/2016 09:42

The theory of how to teach has moved on a lot from pointing at blackboards and talking a lot. Honestly, it will be much better than you think

Someone needs to tell my lecturers then... because that is 90% of university.

Just5minswithDacre · 20/08/2016 09:44

OP's not doing uni, sofa, she's doing an FE vocational course in health and social care.

Sofabitch · 20/08/2016 09:45

Ah then it will be totally different.

I always find it hilarious that so many learned scholars have never learned teaching theory.

movpov · 20/08/2016 09:45

I am about to start a part time college course in addition to my day job. I am nearly 53. Now my son has left school and started work I began to re evaluate where I am career wise and decided I'd like to specialise in an area I have a lot of practical experience in but on looking around, all the employers want a specific qualification which I don't have - so I bit the bullet, applied and was offered a place straight away. So 30 years after first graduating I'm going to be a student again! I'm fully aware I will probably be the oldest in the class but that doesn't bother me - the point is I'm there because I want to be, I'm doing something for me so the focus and motivation will be there and I can't wait to get started. I fully support what everyone else says esp goblin - you will have many life skills and experience the younger students will not have and I think any tutor will be delighted to have you there. Go for it and good luck!

Original poster

glittertree · 20/08/2016 10:04

Just5minswithDacre I was hoping I could do this then move to the next level up but eventually I would like to work in Social care with disadvantaged families , I may change my mind and go down a different route with the Social care.
I've always wanted to work with people and help them . For some this wouldn't be a huge step but for someone like me it is because just for once I would like to put myself first and do something I want to do. It's hard when your confidence is low.

OP posts:

suchafuss · 20/08/2016 10:15

I did an access course at 45 and now in 2nd year of a degree. I failed maths so had to do it again at college. I was so pleased when I passed and it was so much easier this time around as i had much more support and the college had a workshop where you could just go and get help with anything you struggle with
. Lots of people on my course were single parents and no one failed. I am sure you will love it!

Welshrainbow · 20/08/2016 10:47

You will be fine, my OH went back to college in 30s and did GCSE English, maths and science and got Bs after no education since 16. She thought she'd never be able to do it as school always said she wasn't clever etc but was inspired and is now in the second year of a science degree at our local university.

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2016 10:57

You are going to be at a huge advantage over those 'clever young things' doing child, health and social care, because you have children and life experience. They will be intimidated by you!

Just5minswithDacre · 20/08/2016 10:58

I've always wanted to work with people and help them . For some this wouldn't be a huge step but for someone like me it is because just for once I would like to put myself first and do something I want to do. It's hard when your confidence is low.

Sounds like a plan

I think you sound completely normal. The only thing that's really going to make you feel better is doing it.

CecilyP · 20/08/2016 11:04

It is only natural to be nervous going back into education after so many years but I am sure you will be fine. They wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't think so. There will probably be other mature students with similar backgrounds to you, and while the young students may be better at some things (possibly IT) you may find you are better at others. I can assure you that not all the young students will be particularly clever! Also, if you are not sure of something you are more likely to ask than when you were young. Don't panic about the test; they will just use it to find your level to place you in the right groups. As well as learning new things, you will meet new friends and after the first week will wonder what you were worried about.

GreatFuckability · 20/08/2016 11:07

I promise you, you will not be the only person who is a) older or b) scared!
I'm a mature student, first at college, now at uni and its the best decision I ever made. Your tutor will be there to help with stuff you find difficult.

abbinobb · 20/08/2016 11:14

Could you maybe get some basic maths textbooks and have a look through them or there's YouTube tutorials for gcse level that way you'll feel a bit more ready? Do they still do foundation at gcse? Those books will be easier to follow and will update you on the basics. I think maths scares people but most people are more than capable but sort of freeze and think it's hard just because it's maths, but I reckon you'll be fine just try not to worry about it and have the attitude that you can do it or the college wouldn't have accepted you on the course.

(Is the computer thing key skills? It's really really easy if it is, everyone had to do it when u was at college and it's very basic you'll be fine! If you can work our how to get on mum's net then you'd be able to do it easily enough)

PerryHatter · 20/08/2016 12:13

A lot of the adult education courses are mature learners and parents so you'll be fine. The test is just to assess your ability and to see where you may need help.

Original poster

glittertree · 20/08/2016 15:44

Just want to say thank you to all of you for your kind comments they were so appreciated . It was slightly reassuring to hear about other people who had felt the same way as me and come out the other end doing well . I'm just going to have to get on with it fingers crossed.

OP posts:

albertcampionscat · 20/08/2016 21:28

This: dragonbox.com/ could be worth looking at.

JessieMcJessie · 20/08/2016 22:50

Don't forget that the whole point of being on a course is to arrive with very little prior knowledge and be taught. It's their job to teach you so don't stress about not knowing anything to begin with. And as a pp pointed out, what better background in your subject than to have raised your children?

Just try to relax, pay full attention in class and ask questions when you don't understand. You'll be great!

IHeartKingThistle · 20/08/2016 22:58

I teach adults (GCSE English). Every single person who turns up is scared. Sometimes walking through the door is the bravest thing they have ever done. I think they are all awesome.

I think you're awesome too! You'll be absolutely fine.

Original poster

glittertree · 21/08/2016 08:39

IHeartKingThistle thank you for such a kind comment. I see you teach adults English have you ever had anyone who struggles so much that they just don't pick it up ? And if so how much help is there, do most people eventually get better as they go along ?

OP posts:

Original poster

glittertree · 21/08/2016 08:45

albertcampionscat thankyou so much for that link.I have just downloaded the maths bundle. I have been so touched at how kind and positive everyone has been.

OP posts:

nonline · 21/08/2016 09:48

My local FE college is full of people who are older/missed out first time/want a change/kids grown up. Everyone does an assessment to indicate maths/English skills to signpost correct course/support; not to trip you up or prove stupidity. Don't worry about it at all, there will be plenty of other people on the same boat, and don't put yourself down.

justilou · 21/08/2016 20:24

I'm 44 as well and trying to work out how to make study possible too. Also terrified. I also know that by doing so I am going to be a positive example for my kids, so I'm trying to focus on that side of things. (And getting a fulfilling career would be a major advantage, too!)

IHeartKingThistle · 23/08/2016 13:00

You wouldn't have been given a place if they didn't think you were able enough. We also run easier, pre-GCSE courses and adults who we think might struggle are recommended to do these first. We are all about helping people of course but at the end of the day we are judged on our results just like schools! If you have a place then you are able enough to do it, honestly.

I have had students who find it more difficult than others. But the ones who pitch up for every session, do everything I give them to do at home, ask loads of questions and ask for help when they need it are awesome to teach and they do well, regardless of their starting point. Oh and everyone gets better, that's my job!

Really, you will be fine x

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/08/2016 13:43

If you are worried about things like percentages, get a 'basics' book from the library or Smiths - there are plenty of them - to give yourself a head start and a bit of practice, to give you confidence.
These things are not at all difficult once you know how - and I speak as one who took 2 goes to pass O level maths.

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