So we are married only nearly two years now and our baby is 1 next month. We moved house recently, not planned but our landlord needed our old house. New house needs a good bit of tlc which is not easy finding the time with the lo. I started back to work 3 days plus some weekend work 2 and a half months ago. He has exams coming soon so needs to study although always finds time to play ps4 at some point in the day. Although I know we all deserve downtime, sometimes feels he manages to find that more than me. Main issue is we keep arguing, constantly, over everything. Housework, groceries, money. I think we have gotten to a stage where we both assume the other person is having a go based on previous arguments when they're not. But we've spoken to each other badly in the past so we're just expecting it. He tends to get angry and call names, I tend to get sulky and cry. We seem stuck in this cycle and both of us can't seem to stop. I think we're both being unreasonable. I go through phases when I try to be a bigger person but I can't stop .
For example: last week we fought because we spend to much on groceries and waste food (imo). He suggests meal plan (which I try to do but he always buys nonsense we have to eat) so we wrote it down. Halfway through week he takes day off work to stay home and do diy (although paints a room we don't use yet in a colour he chose himself) and he decides to make a roast chicken. Now I know I should be grateful to have roast chicken but it wasn't the meal plan so I was a bit miffed, especially as I had taken out frozen pre made curry to defrost which would have to be binned. He sees I'm miffed and gets angry, I see he's angry and start to cry and we're off again! How do I stop this?!
As an aside there is also some issues with how he drinks, something which I have spoken to him about and is better but at the moment I'm downstairs sulking on the sofa as he had pretty much two bottles of wine and is sprawled across the bed naked and snoring. I have a friend staying over who had a glass and a half I had maybe two and a half glasses. Feeling a bit embarrassed that he sat in the corner drinking away all evening. Not sure she even noticed. But it is Friday night. Should I be miffed? Or think ah well one night is fine. (He was drinking more regularly until recently when I told him I had had enough of him drinking followed By one day hangover, one day normal then drinking again.