AIBU re branded clothes for my DD - luxury?

[tactum]

When I grew up in '70s it was very much you need one pair of jeans (with room to hem them up and then take them down!), a few tops and a jumper or two. Having felt a bit awkward socially as a teenager because of it I was always determined to make sure my kids had more than I did and never felt like I did.

However, I'm also very much of the opinion that brands such as Hollister, Jack Wills, Adidas etc as far as clothing goes are taking the piss in terms of prices. Now my DD is a teenager she is becoming 'brand conscious' but still pretty sensible, and doesn't ask for lots of stuff. Most of her clothes are New Look/La Redoute and she really doesn't ask for much.

Her birthday is approaching (14) and she has asked for an Adidas hoodie for £45. I usually spend around £80-100 for a birthday present on the kids so this would be a major part of it. I'm just wondering if I'm being a bit mean. My view is that a New Look unbranded hoodie would be £15 and she already has 3 or 4 of that type so doesn't actually need another one. Therefore her wanting this Adidas one is a luxury.

But then I'm also wondering if I'm being a bit mean and should accept that things are just different now and these things matter much more and should take that into account.

So would you...

1. Buy her hoodie as half of her present
2. Count it as c£25 towards her present - the difference between the unbranded and branded hoodie
3. Buy it her and then get her a full present on top.

Money is not enough of an issue to affect the outcome. I guess part of me still thinks she has plenty of clothes and if she wants this thing in particular it should be a luxury. Thoughts....

Love the word 'cagul' - do they still cal them that? Aren't they windcheaters or some such things. Takes me back to a cornish beach in the 70's!

I never had it and hated it. its silly but ti does matter. I think as presents is defiantly fine though i'd have been thrilled as all I ever really wanted at that age was more clothes! I grew out of it, live out of charity shops now

This is why we moved to a clothes slogan, so dd could decide for herself whether to get lots of cheap stuff or a few pieces of branded stuff

Im very old bet if i said cagul in a shop now id get the look

1 or 3. I'd probably buy it so she has something to unwrap and put £50 in a card. Or if money isn't tight buy it and another couple of bits and bobs and £50.

I had the same upbringing. It's hard to cut loose but the kids remember the times you did. Sometimes it's good to be wild and impulsive and splurge.

But if birthdays are for requests and Christmas is for surprises, how does Santa just know?

Back on point, I think perfectly OK to buy her what she wants as long as she knows it (or £25) is from the total spend. Far better than spending £45 on something she doesn't want.

Coldcanary my teen is the same loves jack wills and more than happy with a pre loved £10 one from eBay as he says as soon as wears it its not brand new so it's a great compromise for us

If you can't have a luxury item for your birthday, when can you?

Fwiw, I don't buy cheap branda for my dc as I find the quality is crap. But I also don't buy overly priced stuff either as the quality is then crap for the price

eBay!!
And outlet websites.

If she's at the age where she only cares about the brand (we've all been there) you'll get some great bargains.

For example m.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Womens-Hollister-Navy-Top-/162169319519?hash=item25c20b705f%3Ag%3AhEsAAOSwZVlXsMBG&_trkparms=pageci%253Ab10c0e48-6646-11e6-8a81-74dbd180d24c%257Cparentrq%253Aa45e25191560a357b510c049ffff6442%257Ciid%253A3

m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Hollister-Top-BNWT-Small-/322226760542?hash=item4b06362b5e%3Ag%3AWmMAAOSw0UdXrzJG&_trkparms=pageci%253Ab10c0e48-6646-11e6-8a81-74dbd180d24c%257Cparentrq%253Aa45e25191560a357b510c049ffff6442%257Ciid%253A19

I'd get her the top. I always had the rubbish clothes growing up. I remember getting some LA Gear trainers for Christmas and they were my pride and joy!! She'll love it.

It depends what else she asked for. If she has been sensible, is aware of the cost and budget for birthday gifts then ywbu not to buy it for she as she has obviously considered her options and made her request.

If she has given you a ridiculously long list of demands then Yanbu to buy a cheap one

No she has no long list, I'm only wondering if I'm being mean counting it as being for her birthday

It depends what else she asked for. If she has been sensible, is aware of the cost and budget for birthday gifts then ywbu not to buy it for she as she has obviously considered her options and made her request.

If she has given you a ridiculously long list of demands then Yanbu to buy a cheap one

I don't think you're being mean at all. She's old enough to know the price of things and brands equals more money. Take her on a birthday shopping expedition with all of her money maybe so she can compare prices and get what she wants.

I personally would put £50 in an envelope marked "for clothes" and give it to her as part of her birthday present. She can then make the decision as to whether she really wants the hoody or would prefer cheaper options. It will also encourage her to look around for best prices for the clothes she wants as a good bargain means she will then have some money left for something else

Cross post there with cold canary. Same idea!

My younger siblings (18/19 now) went through a similar phase a few years ago, but it really was absolutely a phase. It was all Abercrombie & Fitch back then though... She'll grow out of it, especially if she only gets these clothes at birthdays/christmas/etc.

I would choose option 1 or option 2. Count it as a bit of her present.

(I went through a real designer phase at about 16 and would save all my money all the time to buy a £400 pair of shorts.... I was a nightmare )

I would buy it. I'm the Same size I was at 15 years old, and still wear some clothing from then that was decent. I have a lovely woolen cashmere blend coat my father bought be around 15. I wear it every winter ( alongside others), and it's as new still. I imagine it will last as long as I do. It's something classic and lasts through the fashions.
My Nike hoody I wear to the gym is also about the same age

I think when they get to teens we have to rethink our own present ideas a bit like *mrsjay* mentioned up thread. I still have it in my head that special occasions equals lots of gifts to open and have had the conversation with my older 2 about their present wants versus the amount of gifts under the tree or to open on birthdays, while forgetting that what they want is a bit more fixed than their little sister who just goes nuts over a pile of cheap presents in pretty wrapping paper.

Buy her it and take it out of the birthday budget.
I'm of the mind that if they want it, you can afford it and they are behaving then why not.
(Currently having the third issue with my teen, there will be no birthday hoody!)

Take her shopping, have lunch out and let her choose a couple of expensive items. Teenagers don't need parcels to open, she probably would love the experience of choosing her own present.

We have a few things from Jack wills. dh and both kids wear it and I've not ever had an item wear out. Dh has a pair of shorts from there which he has worn for years and years (maybe 10) and they need a little repair but they will be fine after that. I do think that sometimes paying a fair bit for the likes of jack wills and super dry is ok because the stuff is very good quality. Again, one of my dc has rotated 3 super dry tshirts the entire summer and they look like new and will probably last several more years, getting handed down.

Yes part of a present. None of mine were that bothered.

if you can afford it i would buy it if not it can be her birthday present.

i do think brands for teenagers are all part of the course.

its all armani, ralph lauren and ted baker bags here glad i dont i dc yet