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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wwyd? Broken toy.

113 replies

SpiceLinerandHoneyLove · 18/08/2016 23:46

Keeping this very short to avoid outing.
DD had two friends to play today. In the garden and sandpit. All well and good. Her friends are sisters, about 18 months between them. All children aged under 4.
Sandpit/outside toys all outside.

Bit hectic, repeated asking other children not to throw gravel, bring toys from house outside etc. Trying, but normal.

Then mum of friends extracts from her youngest DD one of my DD's toys, a pullalong she's had since birth with buttons that make it talk. Well, not anymore. It's full of sand. Her DD had taken it from inside and buried it in the sandpit. It's beyond repair.

I'm not normally precious but it was one of the first toy we got DD and we hoped her new brother/sister would also play with it.

I've googled a replacement and it's not made anymore. Amazon is only place at £25+

WIBU to ask for a replacement?

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 19/08/2016 08:03

I'm afraid I agree with everyone else. Stuff can get broken when children get together.

I suppose really it depends on whether building social skills in your children is more important to you than material things. Because if you start asking for people to fork out for replacement toys if something gets broken, their children won't come to your house anymore. And your children won't be invited anywhere in return. But hey, nothing will get broken.

tararabumdeay · 19/08/2016 08:07

Footle that's so funny - and weird in a good way!

LavenderEverywhere · 19/08/2016 08:08

as her mum saw it and apologised and offered to replace it if it couldn't be fixed

Oh God....I hope that wasn't an embarrassed reaction to you making a stupid fuss about it with lots of tutting and huffing.

If it really means that much to you that your DD continues to have this toy then replace it yourself. I understand why you would hope that any her toys might be passed down to a younger sibling but it's just a plastic pullalong toy, not a hand carved and painted rocking horse lovingly made by her grandfather. Some perspective is needed I think.

PandasRock · 19/08/2016 08:09

I understand how to feel. I had an electronic toy which defied the odds and survived 10 years (was a fragile toy, which was swiftly withdrawn due to easy breaking) and 3 children. I shipped it over from America for my dd1's first birthday, and then (dd1 has severe SN) a whole lot of emotional stuff got tangled up with it because it was a toy which brought her joy, but also one which dd2 (2 years younger) played with for years as well. It was still being played with when Ds came along (dd1 was 8 at this point), and survived his babyhood too.

And then we got a nanny, (when Ds was 2) and within a week it was broken. I was properly gutted, especially since it had survived for so long and I had given explicit instructions that it was fragile and needed keeping an eye on. But it happened. It still saddens me now, 2 years on, but I know that is because of my emotions tangled up in it all over the years.

Ywbu to ask friend to replace it. If it does mean that much to you, then you do have a way to replace it yourself, but as others have said, all the children are under 4 and the child identified as the culprit is likely 2 - she cannot be held responsible at all.

SuperHeroesForKids · 19/08/2016 08:14

I'd put it down to experience.

It was an accident. I wouldn't ask your friend to buy another. Buy one yourself if you think your dd will be upset.

But if it's sentimental then it's just bad luck. Asking your friend to buy a new one is no help

Costacoffeeplease · 19/08/2016 08:14

Oh God....I hope that wasn't an embarrassed reaction to you making a stupid fuss about it with lots of tutting and huffing.

This

Diglet · 19/08/2016 08:20

I wouldn't ask for money for a replacement as the kids were so young. I might if the kids were much older and had been deliberately destructive.

blushrush · 19/08/2016 08:23

Hey OP, got to echo the others here and say don't ask for a replacement.

However, maybe you can still get a replacement for less than £25?

Have you tried:
eBay
Gumtree
Preloved
Freecycle

Any of these might have a cheaper replacement for you :)

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/08/2016 08:24

The child got the toy, took it outside ,then buried it in the sand. Where were the adults,didnt you see them doing it?

unlucky83 · 19/08/2016 08:26

I agree with others - things become less sentimental as time goes on - there are many more memories....
But I also understand why you are upset - however small children are small children and can't be responsible for burying a toy in a sandpit - I don't think you can expect the other parent to pay.
Before you spend £25 on Amazon you can try to take it to pieces and clean it out if that doesn't work get an ebay search going and keep a look out in charity shops -you'll likely get one for much less - also put a want on freecycle/freegle- it sounds like it isn't really urgent...

PeggyMitchell123 · 19/08/2016 08:26

I couldn't imagine asking for replacement in those circumstances. It's not like an older child deliberately broke it, it was broke by a innocent toddler, a toddler like many who like to bury toys.

On this instance, if something was precious, you should have put it away.

Accidents happen.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/08/2016 08:39

I have a 2 year old, a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I don't deem myself to be a helicopter parent by any stretch but how on earth did a 2 year old get into your house, find a toy, bring it outside and bury it without any of the adults noticing Confused? That's a bit worrying actually and something I would factor into other play dates. It's lucky said toddler didn't turn the taps on in the bath.

If we have a play date, I put all the toys out that can be played with in the playroom and parents sit in there too. If it's a garden play date, we go straight out into the garden. I shut (but don't lock) the French windows as I'm worried about fingers getting trapped. That means any children have to ask to go back in and I woukd expect the parent to accompany them

Play dates can be quite hideous. Meeting out in parks etc is often better

Wrenniecat1970 · 19/08/2016 10:00

You can't really replace the sentimental attachment you have with the toy with something new. Try and clean up the damaged toy as best you can and put it away with other keepsafes. When it's time to get it out you will either be happy to see it again or feel more pragmatic about throwING it away. Right now though you are just pee'd off something of yours has been broken which we all are from time to time. Play dates are a pain when the children keep interrupting our chat with the need of adult guidance. Does my head in anyway. Grin

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 19/08/2016 10:36

It's just a plastic toy that's still on Amazon, not a priceless heirloom. Tys get broken when being played with and surely any new children will have their own new toys rather than being stuck with whatever their older sibling no longe wants.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 19/08/2016 10:37

What's the toy op? A mumsnetter might have an unused one laying about.

IamaBluebird · 19/08/2016 10:48

Sorry about the toy Op. Agree with people who are saying the time taken to find and break it is worrying. It's good that only a toy was broken.

IamaBluebird · 19/08/2016 11:22

You could try the charity shops for a replacement. Oxfam have some lovely toys.

george1020 · 19/08/2016 11:37

Wow....how embarrassing for the other mother! She must have felt awful with you tutting away and saying how precious a cheapie bit of bloody plastic was!
It's not even like it was a family airloom passed down from generation to generation it's a fucking pull along plastic toy! Go to a local carboot. Sure you'll pick one up there for about 50p and in the nicest possible way get a grip.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/08/2016 11:43

Yabu you just cannot do that. If it was so precious, like others said, you shoukd have put it away, any things you don't want to get damaged. They are only 4, and were playing like others of their age do. Unless you want to loose a friend, I could not do that! There will bother toys on the market which you coukd buy your baby!

DearMrDilkington · 19/08/2016 11:44

So it's sentimental because your dd had it from newborn age, but if you buy a replacement it's just another pull along toy, it's not the same one she had from birth so what's the point? Confused. Just buy a new different pull along toy for any brothers or sisters your dd may have.

YouSay · 19/08/2016 11:52

Please don't ask for a replacement. I can't believe you are even considering it.

user1471443957 · 19/08/2016 11:57

YABU for two adults not to be able to keep a closer eye on 3 kids and prevent them destroying stuff. And thinking 3 kids is 'hectic'.

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/08/2016 13:13

It's normal for you to feel a bit sad that this particular toy has been wrecked, but unless you want to lose this friend forever do NOT ask for a replacement - YWBmassivelyU to do so. A replacement will hardly be the same toy, after all Confused

LaContessaDiPlump · 19/08/2016 13:18

I do sympathise that the toy is broken though. My DH accidentally gave away DS1's jumperoo (the one that got loaned around everyone and came back to us for DS; the sole surviving Xmas present for DS1's first Xmas, given by my mum before she died) to charity and I was really upset.

Having DH buy another one (and the fact that he spontaneously offered shows you how upset I was, seeing as we have school-age children!) would have made no difference to the fact that the one I loved was no longer there.

Do have a go at fixing it op, but please don't embarrass your friend and yourself by asking for money to fix an emotional issue. It won't work and you could potentially lose a friend.

Excited101 · 19/08/2016 13:24

YABU and letting your emotion cloud your judgement

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