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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Come on MNs - AIBU? Need to decide what to do with money....

30 replies

SleepingSal · 18/08/2016 21:20

Nc due to this easily making me identifiable.

I've been studying hard for 3 years with huge support from Dh and done much better than I expected. This has been done around working and meant lots of evenings working and juggling between Dh and I. I've been extremely lucky to have been awarded a decent monetary 'prize' for my achievements. I would like to take Dh and I away for a long, luxury weekend - basically a bit of a blow out. He has worked just as hard as me to achieve this and supported me so much. We do not go out a lot, we do not spoil ourselves much (can't afford too!), very, very rarely spend money on ourselves and have NEVER had a night away from our children. I really would love to celebrate this achievement just as us and spoil ourselves a bit - nice hotel for a few nights, maybe a spa, nice meals out etc.
On the other hand we owe Mil some money - not a huge amount but this money would go well towards paying it back. I should add beyond this we have no credit cards or loans (beyond mortgage) and try to manage our money well, so this is the only debt. We have a paying back system in place with Mil which she is happy with and she certainly isn't in need of this money as a matter of urgency.
I was telling Mil about the prize tonight and all excited about a potential trip away, and as I put the phone down it suddenly occurred to me should I instead pay her back first (I know I should have thought about this sooner!). To be fair she didn't mention it but I felt bad, like I should prioritise this debt first.
However, a big part of me wants to keep this money a bit separate and do something special with it. AIBU and a bit selfish, should I pay Mil back first....

OP posts:
Oobis · 18/08/2016 22:59

Sounds fabulous. Enjoy your break and give her a bunch of flowers and choccies. And congratulations on your achievements!

SillySongsWithLarry · 19/08/2016 03:24

It's great your MIL is so understanding. I owe DF £15,000 - he lent me the money so I could buy exH out of the house and I pay him back monthly by Standing Order. He doesn't care when I get extra money and don't pay it off the debt, he is happy with our arrangement and the timescale for repayment. Sounds like your MIL is the same.

Fadingmemory · 19/08/2016 07:00

I would go for a shared approach and pay MIL, say £350 .

Stay somewhere relatively inexpensive with interesting things to do nearby. A friend and I got a fantastic deal at the Holiday Inn beside the Royal Armories in Leeds. We travelled there by train on advance tickets, using railcards (we are old sticks but there may be autumn deals coming up). There were lots of places to eat nearby, the Yorkshire sculpture park, the Hepworth centre in Wakefield (we went by bus from Leeds). Only an example. There are the most fantastic free museums all over the country. For you the luxury could be in the opportunity to celebrate your success with a good meal, not having to get up to DC in the night or early in the morning etc, rather than going for expensive trappings. As ever, Google is your friend. Your MIL, of course, may refuse any lump sum you offer but you will then not feel any regret. Congratulations! Have a good trip.

lanbro · 19/08/2016 07:20

If it were my parents or in laws I would explain to them and they would absolutely not begrudge us having a treat before paying them back. You obviously have a good relationship so should just be upfront about it.

cexuwaleozbu · 19/08/2016 07:26

You have a paying back system in place that she is happy with - yanbu to spend this extra on yourselves. If you hadn't started paying anything back then ywbu but that's not where you are.

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