To feel a bit put out?

[Lizwah]

Hi, long time lurker, first time poster so go easy on me...

DS is about to go into year 1 and because of my working pattern I haven't really gotten to know many other mums on the playground. I have tried to make awkward small talk at various birthday parties with limited success and I have joined the school parents Facebook group.

I put a message on this afternoon suggesting that we could try and get some of the kids together for a play date and get to know each other a bit better one day next week.

I know that at least 15 mums from his class have read the message but not one response. I'm genuinely gutted. Not even a "nice idea but we can't make it"

How can I make contacts with other parents in his class, who are going to be his friends for at least the next 6 years if I'm not in the playground clique and nobody bothers with me?

Group Facebook posts are so easy to ignore / mean to reply and then forget etc.
Contact the mum's of a couple of DS's particular friends and invite for an individual play date.

Perhaps some of them are already friends and don't need to get to know each other so therefore your message could be seen as presumptuous.

Perhaps they will reply as you wrote the message this afternoon.

Perhaps next week is far too short notice for them to avail themselves for a get-together.

In short, just give it some time and imo playground cliques are best to be avoided but each to their own...

At my kids school, due to the times I drop off etc I know zero mums there, and to be honest I'm ok with that. I think a lot is expected of 'school mum friendships' but most of the time the can end up more trouble than it's worth. Why not try chatting to the mums if your child attends afterschool activities as a majority of mums are too busy dealing with kids/ work etc to focus on a school mum social gathering and play date sounds fab but it can end up overkill if the kids see each other every day (just my opinion )

And this is why mumsnet is better than Facebook! Thanks for your replies. I shall try not to take it personally and remember that people are busy and not always good at responding.

Is it a school Fb page or a class one? If it's a school I wouldn't really expect a response tbh. Can you send a message to a few of the children's mums that your do likes?

Would it be better to suggest a specific day, time and place?

e.g.
I'm taking Johnny to soft play on Tue pm from around 2pm. It would be lovely if any other parents and DC came along too as I'd like to get to know people better as I'm not at the school much.

Or a picnic in the play park on Wed from 12ish.

You'll probably find if one responds several others will as well - they're all waiting to see if anyone else is going first!

The way I got to know other parents was by inviting the DC's friends to tea and then chatting with the parents when they come to collect them - offer them a glass of wine cup of tea while the children have 15 mins more play.

If you don't hear anything by next week I would send another message along the lines of " Hi guys, Off to Playzone this morning, If anyones free and fancies it too it would be great to see you"..or something like that. Good luck.