A very, very old and close friend is getting married next year. DH is an usher. The wedding will be abroad, as that is where the bride is from and our friend lives in that country too. It's not too difficult to get there is still quite a distance and would realistically mean a few nights stay for the whole wedding.
We've just been given the date and of course, sod's law is that it is happening over DC2's 1st birthday.
DC1 would have to stay behind as they can't miss school. We have lovely grandparents on both sides who would happily divide and conquer the childcare over a few days.
I don't know yet if the wedding is child free but imagine it generally will be (I know our friends with DC are unlikely to take theirs), and though I know our friend would definitely let us take DC2 if that was the only way we could attend. However, and this might be very selfish, I don't really fancy being possibly one of the only people there with a baby, nor doing the flight with a baby. Plus DH and I haven't had any time away together since DC1 was born 5 years ago, so this would be a lovely break and a chance to spend some quality time together for a few days in an exciting city.
Also, I suppose DH could go on his own, but friend is my friend too and I would love to be there.
Part of me thinks that DC2 clearly won't know its their birthday and we can celebrate their birthday another day when we get back. Another part of me thinks that it would be awful to chose a wedding over DC's birthday.
Of course, we don't know yet what DC2 will be like and we might end up having to rethink everything if they turn out to be a very unsettled baby.
Would we be unreasonable?