To get police to pay a visit to my son?

[PeachesAndDerek]

Backstory - 15 year old son has been constantly stealing from me, my husband and a few years ago - shops. Nothing I do or say seems to deter him. He is not my husbands son. It has ranged from low level stealing (like £2 here and there) so £10 going missing from my birthday money from my mum, £5 going missing out if his brother's room and last night he apparently helped himself to around £7 worth of change out of DHs coat pocket.
He will deny it until he is blue in the face but he was the only one in last night, his brother slept out. On top of this he has been stealing cigarettes off DH and me as well as stealing beer out of the fridge. I noted his bedside cabinet drawer was full of empty cans last night.

I've not approached him about this latest money going missing but I have called the police and arranged for a cso to visit the house to talk to him. ds has no idea yet. This stealing is wrecking my marriage as DH says he can't relax in his own home etc etc and it's causing the whole family grief and worry, as well as annoyance and frustration. Ultimately if he doesn't stop now, where will it end??

Have I over done it with the police involvement or is this a fair response??

Police involvement should surely be a last resort! You should talk to him and try and get to the bottom of why he's doing this.

If OP's denies everything it is hard to have a discussion with him re why he's stealing insan.
Perhaps police can suggest further agencies etc to approach for help if this strategy is not successful.

The beer cans in the cupboard has alarm bells ringing fkr me...is he drinking in secret in his room? That's worrying behaviour. Have you dug deeper behind what is causing all this?

So stealing getting drunk in your room and smoking are all fine right?

Did he have friends round when the beers were taken as getting drunk alone is especially weird op

I want to echo all the other posts that people have said they wish the police had been called. My brother stole round him. Started off small, then just got to a point that he was fucking lucky he wasn't nicked. but he beat everyone to the post by a suicide attempt. It took the heat off him for a bit but he continued on though he was fired from the first job he attempted it at and that was the end of his thieving ways. still wouldnt trust him that said.

Ott no wonder there's all sorts around if parents think their darlings shouldn't be subjected to anything they consider as Ott
Good on you op, this needs nipping in the bud. It's definitely not normal that teenagers do this sort of thing. Maybe to some people who have done it themselves, but no not all teenagers are like this.

Well, it's certainly not freakishly abnormal - it's fairly common and there is lots of information online with suggestions for dealing with it. It's not acceptable but neither is it a dead cert slippery slope to a life of crime, so don't panic.

How does your son get on with his step-father otherwise? And what about his relationship with his dad? (Not really expecting an answer, just suggesting areas to explore when looking for reasons for this behaviour. Although sometimes it is just teenage stupidity/bravado.)

Of course it's different if its your own son.

No it's not. Theft is theft. It's still illegal wether it's stealing from your parents or not.

Besides which, one day (if not already) he will steal of someone who isn't his parent. Who will call the police.

Sometimes teenagers don't want to listen to their parents. Hearing it from someone else (like the police) has enough of an impact to maybe make him reassess his actions. That's what a stranger would do. They would call the police. He needs to realise that his actions have serious consequences.

I work quite closely with our local PCOS team and I know they have been to speak to teenagers before about this sort of thing - it is definitely not just you. Fingers crossed that your officers will be as brilliant as ours, who seem to build up a really good rapport with local kids, and that this is the shock your son needs.