Having one more baby...

[Maisy313]

I'm at the age where I kind of need to decide if I want a third child or to get rid of all the baby toys / clothes etc. We have two lovely boys (5 and 2) who sleep through the night, holidays and day trips are now feeling easier again (although long haul flights are probably another year off). Career wise I'm just getting back into my stride (work 3.5 a week) and my dh got a big promotion when I was on maternity leave with ds2 which has come with long hours and a lot of stress but he seems to enjoy in in a self-masochistic way! The kids are happy being left with my in laws for a weekend who love to have them. Financially we are in a better position than ever before but maternity leave did feel tight and another baby would set us back but would be manageable (combined income around 90k) We are selling our London flat and moving to the country I think (another thing I'm not sure we will regret). Also my dh has a hereditary heart defect (which resulted in his brother dying as a baby) so pregnancies are closely monitored and my second son had a very traumatic start which ended up with me being very anxious really for his first year and a half. It's a long story but he had an immature nervous system and was misdiagnosed as having a series of long and sustained seizures as a baby. So basically what I'm saying is it makes no sense at all in terms of our qualities of life to have another baby but I feel really sad when I think about not having one! What are your experiences of going from 2 to 3? Or sticking to 2? I need help!

[CafeCremeMerci]

A difficult decision for you!

I think you regret the things you didn't do far more than the things you did do.

I'd have the baby, but I'm not you!

[Needafiltercoffee]

I have 3 and I say go for it! We weren't sure and left it a bit to fate and tbh no 3 is a delight. He just fits in and makes our family complete. The other two adore him. They're now 12, 9 and 6. I do worry a little about uni expenses etc but the joy of a new little person brings is so worth it!

[PotteringAlong]

Other than the health anxiety our list of pros and cons was exactly the same as yours. I'm pregnant with dc3. If you were making it from a purely practical or financial decision nobody would ever have any children...

[wobblywonderwoman]

How old are you *Maisey" I'm 38

I think it will be more expensive as they get older. Three to sort with teen worries ( I feel for all those families getting results today - I am quite an emotional person and would take a lot of worry on)

Also we work awkward hours to reduce childcare costs.

[Mummaaaaaah]

My mother (who had 3) always advised me to stop at 2. '2 hands, 2 parents, 2 kids' she'd say. We stopped at 2 based on this, not wanting to go back to the sleepless nights and hassle travelling etc, and financial resins (the last being particularly strong reason). No regrets. Even when I held my beautiful baby niece the other day and went all mushy, it didn't last long and I was happy to hand back to her mum. X

[Mummaaaaaah]

X? Wtf.

[ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout]

We went for 'one more baby' and got two! I don't regret it, it was just a bit of a shock. Be careful what you wish for, as my DM would say

[Dogsmom]

I can't see you'd ever regret it once they were here but you do give a lot of very valid reasons for sticking to 2.

I've got 2 dd's aged 17mo and 3y and I'm really looking forward to next month when the oldest goes to nursery so I get a few hours with just 1 but secretly can't wait until the youngest is at nursery and dd2 at school so I get a few hours each day for myself, I feel so guilty admitting that but I'm finding it pretty relentless.

We did consider a 3rd, similarly to you I have visions of having 3 dd's but we had to think of the 2 we have and how much of an impact it'd have on them and stopped at 2, dh then had a vasectomy so it put a line under it.

I do get the odd pang of what if but it's easy to think of so many positives of having 2 and I'm happy with our decision.

[IceBeing]

I have been feeling slightly sad for the whole of the last 5 years, because the birth of DD made is essentially psychologically impossible that we would have more, even though we originally wanted to.

I just got rid of a lot of baby stuff that was hanging around 'just in case' and it was like a splinter being pulled free. Painful for about 24 hours then just so, so much better to finally move on from that stage of life.

[witsender]

We are at the same stage, well, 4 and 6 and decided against another. Part of me would like another, but then life is settling and getting easier...another would throw the balance.

[wibblewobble8]

Sods law dictates that you will get rid of all the baby stuff and then fall pregnant with baby No.3.

[canary1]

I have moved from 2 to 3 more easily than 0 to 1 and 1 to 2. But so very tired at the thought of it being years still before can relax on a holiday ( think will be when youngest gets to school age).... Plus back to shelling out for childcare. It depends on your age also- do you really have to make the big decision now? Can't you decide to shelve the idea for a couple of years and revisit it then. Just box everything up
In the meanwhile...

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

Honestly?

I have three and love them all. But three is so much harder than two. I should have been content with my two - but in my case with a difficult twin pregnancy I wanted the experience of a 'normal' pregnancy plus obviously another baby!

[newshmoo74]

I got broody when my 2nd was starting school, I now have a 10 year old, a 9 year old and a 4 year old. I adore my 4 year old but there are times I wish i had stopped at 2. Just as my older ones were getting to be a bit more independent i had a little one who again required constant supervision. Swimming, cycling trips etc are more complicated than they need to be and I have to stay at children's parties (which i detest).

[AmandaIsHere]

I'd say go for it.

[sugarmonster64]

This is my constant dilemma but my reason for having 3 is that I always assumed I would and it sometimes feels our family isn't as complete as it should be. But practical considerations win out and I'm pretty sure we're sticking at 2. I'll always have that little regret we didn't just go for it at least I know and can accept that and I have a wonderful family as it is.