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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think no, you don't put school fees on a credit card?

11 replies

VioletBam · 18/08/2016 05:45

My friend is stressed out over money and her relationship. I spend a lot of time listening and trying to help her when she asks.

She's been to see me today to complain that there's no money left to go on holiday at the moment and what can she DO!? Hmm

She has quite recently left her part time job which was basically paying school fees for her two children...her DH has two jobs.

She said "I can't bear the job any more, it's boring. I'm putting the school fees on the credit card"

I suggested she should look for another job asap as that would allow her to pay the fees in a manageable way but she got annoyed with me and basically said I was judgemental. I wasn't. I was, I thought offering sound advice.

There's no reason she can't work. She's healthy and young. I wouldn't have said a thing if she hadn't complained about no money.

OP posts:
cexuwaleozbu · 18/08/2016 05:54

Of course you are right but was this perhaps one of those situations where the person sounding off needs sympathy and emotional connection and not practical advice?

KitKat1985 · 18/08/2016 06:13

She probably got annoyed because deep down she knows you are right!

Off topic: Please tell me you live outside the UK because I'm Shock that you've already had a friend over today by the time you posted at 05.45.

VioletBam · 18/08/2016 06:14

Yes....maybe I should have just nodded sympathetically and agreed. That's what she wanted. But that's what I always do and I think I might be getting tired of it.

She repeatedly does things which are a bit daft and then wants to be told she was right....everyone else was wrong.

OP posts:
VioletBam · 18/08/2016 06:14

Kit yes I'm in Oz.

OP posts:
davos · 18/08/2016 06:33

I think sometimes even if a friend is just looking for a sympathetic ear, it's best to actually tell them they are making a mistake.

You are friends after all and she could be about make a huge financial mistake. She sounds like she could also be the type of person that gets annoyed when it goes tits up and blame you a bit because you didn't tell her it was a bad idea.

Is it private school?

Unfortunately not a lot of people can afford to quit their job and still have holidays and afford private school fees.

She either needs to get back to work or adjust their lifestyle.

JoandMax · 18/08/2016 06:38

Well yes she's being irresponsible by quitting by her job if that means a big financial strain on the family.

But I don't think it's too bad putting school fees on a credit card - I'm just about to do the same!! We pay it all off over the year, use bonuses etc but don't have enough at the moment to cover them all........

microscope · 18/08/2016 06:54

pretty lucrative part time job to pay two lots of school fees (unless they are much cheaper in Oz). she needs to cut her cloth according to her means.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/08/2016 07:23

She's mad, quite honestly. The interest on the credit card if she can't pay it off will be hefty.

Yes, microscope, the fees over here are much cheaper than the UK in general - all private schools are church schools and the fees vary enormously but are still mostly cheaper.

RooftopCat · 18/08/2016 07:47

It may not be private school. State schools also have fees attached, I believe. And school supplies (stationery, books) have to be paid for too.

SouthWindsWesterly · 18/08/2016 07:50

and what does the husband working two jobs say about this?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/08/2016 07:51

State schools do not, in general, have "fees" unless you are in Australia on a working visa.
Yes we pay contributions, yes we pay for supplies - these aren't described as "fees", well not at our school anyway.

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