AIBU to get annoyed when people refuse to acknowledge I have a different surname to my husband??

[AngrySparrow]

When my husband and I got married a couple of years ago I decided to hyphenate my last name with my maiden name-husbands surname but my husband decided not to change his. His parents often refuse to acknowledge that I have a different surname which is frustrating but they do lots of annoying things so I just chalked this up to them being awkward. However, I have noticed that other people do this as well and I have to keep correcting them (and then feel like I am being pedantic). The latest issue is that we are moving house and I have been the one to interact with the estate agents and organise everything on our side. I have filled out numerous forms with my surname and have my surname as part of my email address. Yet when I received the first official and legal document from them today they have got my name wrong and referred to me as Mrs husbands surname (I won't even get into the annoyance I feel as my title is Dr!). AIBU to expect people to get my name right??

I kept my name and even after 25 years of marriage I am astonished at how many people still find it strange. My GP always calls me Miss Stepaway, my mum used to send cards addressed to MRS DH name sometimes MRS DH first name then second name she knew I had not taken his name! just the other day I got a get well card from my DB addressed to MRS DH name. I give up and stop letting it bother me but it is odd to me why it is such a hard concept to understand

I've taken to sending cards etc to the persistent offenders with totally wrong names and titles too.

This always baffles me. I never changed my name. It has never posed a problem for any of our families and friends - or in fact complete strangers. Our children have his family name but mine as a middle name. Again - never once been commented upon. They are no less my children for having a different name to me.

In all honesty I would question why your husband was not willing to double barrell. It's like your name and identity are less important to you than his are to him. Honestly, I think you'd find it less confusing and challenging for the small minded folk if you just stuck to your original family name.