to wonder if you would stick by a friend convicted of fraud?

[FitbitAddict]

DH has a long-standing friend who has recently been convicted of stealing £1.2M from HMRC by collecting tax etc from employees and not passing it on, including concealing it in dozens of international bank accounts. Sentencing is next month. DH says the friend was 'stupid enough to make a serious error of judgement'. IMO it goes a lot further than that. DH is going to meet up with him before he gets sentenced, which will be custodial. Would you stick by him, or drop him?

His friend didn't just make an error, this was cold, calculating and took a lot of thought and planning. I couldn't be friends with someone like that as friendship involves an element of trust and I just couldn't get past thinking about all the employees that would have been affected by his actions. Make sure your DH keeps his guard up around his “friend” he seems quite naïve to believe their excuses!

Many businesses go bust who have not paid the HMRC their empoyees tax & NI.

Some bosses have benefited from the non payment, paying themselves dividends which they should not have done, others just did not have enough funds to make the payments.
Vast amounts of money are lost to the HMRC this way. Often the boss will choose voluntary liquidation and then set up again and do exactly the same.
I know a man who did this 4 times. He only got struck off as a Director after his 4th business and suffered no legal action whatsoever even though he had taken lots of money out of the Companies for himself.

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that,

Drop, I'd not want a friend who broke the law especially that much. It's not an error in judgment and I'd be worried at him classifying it as that.

Up to your husband.

My parents stood by a friend of theirs who was convicted of plain and simple theft.

They're decent people and felt that while she had stolen and it was wrong, people deserve second chances.

I would drop. That is a serious crime. The benefit fraud by accident a pp mentioned (genuine mistake) was a totally different animal. Your DH's friend did not make an error of judgement. He had to seriously and intentionally pursue that, and I could not be friends with someone who had no morals and was prepared to screw over all those people that trusted him and worked for him.

I was amazed that friends stood by my ex who was sent down for defrauding clients. It was a calculated crime against vulnerable people. He stole from me and took my Mum's inheritance money she left me. I despise him. He is vile yet his friends are still about. What DHs friend did is also a calculated crime and not an error if judgement. I don't think I could stand by them.

whether i'd continue the friendship would depend on lots of factors, what kind of friend they were to me prior, how long i'd known them, etc etc.

Yes , I would still stay friend with any friend who had committed a non violent crime. I understand all crimes have victims of a sort, however the dh friend is being punished already, and rightly so by the state.

This would change the way I thought of my friend forever I think. I'm not sure I could continue to maintain a relationship with them.

I wholeheartedly agree with emotionsecho Treating this person as a social outcast should form a part of his punishment.

If he is claiming innocence, that is different in terms of standing by a friend but it does not seem to apply in this specific case.

I think also the length of time he was stealing for would be a factor in me cutting him out. £1.2m isn't just one or two months contributions. It'll have been going on for a very long time, assuming he isn't employing thousands of staff, and that makes it so much more deliberate.

I don't know. At least the crime wasn't violent.

It'd depend whether the friend was desperate and using the money to keep the business going or if they were just living beyond their means to me. I find it easy to forgive people errors of judgment if they were under a lot of pressure, rather than the pure greed. These things snowball, you start out forgetting to pay the contributions one month, don't get caught, before you know it you 'need' the income. He's being punished by the state.

It is up to your husband; as he is a long-standing friend he probably feels horrified at what he has done and what is going to happen to him and wants to express sympathy.
What is really serious is how this person feels about his crime, how he behaves when his sentence is completed and how your husband responds to him then.

I agree that the friends attitude is an important factor here. If he is truly sorry (and not just pretending to be) then that's a start. To this day my ex has blamed everyone and everything for his thefts and doesnt even see that he has anything to be sorry about.

There are situations where I could maintain a friendship with someone convicted of fraud, but someone siphoning £1.2m of taxes into offshore accounts isn't one of them.