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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School holiday reading

72 replies

sonlypuppyfat · 15/08/2016 18:17

I feel like I'm going to get a roasting but DD is going to go into yr7 and she's been given a paperback to read over the holidays. I expect she will have to do some work about it when she starts school. The trouble is it is so boring it's all about football and tennis, things she doesn't enjoy. AIBU in telling her she's on her holiday and not read it , or should she just get on with it and just read it?

OP posts:

myownprivateidaho · 16/08/2016 08:10

Sounds like this book has been picked to encourage the little boys in the class, who typically read less than girls. Not bad in itself, but would have been better if they had chosen something gender neutral. I sympathise with your DD but yes of course she must read it. Could you let her pick out a book she would like to read from a bookshop so she doesn't come away from the summer feeling like reading is a total bore? Btw, you do know the book is about American football, not soccer?

GreatPointIAgreeWithYouTotally · 16/08/2016 08:17

I would get her to read it and tell her to write her own review of it (Amazon style) and allow her to slate it as much as she wants, as long as the review demonstrates that she has read it.

That way she is allowed her opinion but has still done the homework.

I would also offer as a reward that she could choose a book of her choice to read after and consider whether it would have been a better choice for her whole class, including the boys.

You could read it too-it would probably only take a couple of hours) and then discuss it with her.

Ackvavit · 16/08/2016 08:19

Firstly she is likely to read a text every school year and she may also find them "boring". It is all about resilience and the ability to accept school are there to educate and as such will set challenges that some pupils will embrace and others will moan about. It makes it very frustrating for educators when parents back up the child as you are doing.
Secondly why not get the book read and write a review explaining what she thought about the story and why she thought it was "boring". That way the teacher won't waste time listening to the "well it was boring" but with no explanation. I guarantee she will curry more favour turning up with a written review of why she didn't like it as opposed to turning up not having read it at all.
Thirdly she may be "on a break" but those kids who do read and keep their mind active during the holidays settle back into the new term much better than those who have lazed around for 6 weeks. At this point with a kid starting into year 7 I would be getting them up at a time that means they are used to not lying in, making sure they are able to cope with a full day of learning is made much more tricky when you have kids who have been allowed to run by their own rules all summer. If you are happy to accept the free education you get in this country as a parent you need to understand part of that is your responsibility.
Finally, if she won't read the book and you are at stake mate, get her to read another one and review that and take it in with an explanation as to how that happened. You need to send out a message that when you are asked to do something you do it not make excuses to get out of doing it.

Ackvavit · 16/08/2016 08:21

*stale mate not stake

greathat · 16/08/2016 08:39

Your attitude sounds shit. I hope you aren't passing the negativity on to your child before she's even started

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 16/08/2016 09:07

What greathat said.

You sound like a really poor excuse for a parent.

Ackvavit · 16/08/2016 09:13

Assuming this is the first child you have had going to senior school - do you think you are prepared for all that the move to senior school entails? Teachers get far too much bad press for the progress of our young people but if parents are not supporting the education system then it makes things so much more difficult. Years 7 - 9 are the years the kids are prepared for the hard work that the GCSE years bring. Good habits and attitudes formed in 7-9 will reap rewards later with good work ethic and resilient behaviour forming strong young adults who are ultimately more employable than their peers who dip out when any "effort" is required. If the book is such a stumbling block get the audio version and listen together. Sending the message out that it's ok to not do something before you've even started year 7 frankly leaves me open mouthed.

Original poster

sonlypuppyfat · 16/08/2016 09:20

She's my third child at the same school

OP posts:

Ackvavit · 16/08/2016 09:25

Ok - so if she is the third of your children going to the same school do you think your experience with the others is influencing your attitude towards this task?

Original poster

sonlypuppyfat · 16/08/2016 09:33

It could be. The school seems to me to have lots of petty rules and lots of supply teachers. It's been through a few heads. For example my older DD was being bullied by a boy in her class really nasty stuff and the schools idea was to put her in isolation

OP posts:

MachiKoro · 16/08/2016 09:35

"she is on holiday"?
Sorry, children's lives are one big holiday!
What will you do when her job is a little boring? Say she doesn't have to do it?

MachiKoro · 16/08/2016 09:36

Why send another child there then? If you're so unhappy with the school, why would you send your dd there?

HerdsOfWilderbeest · 16/08/2016 09:37

Ackvavit
Sending the message out that it's ok to not do something before you've even started year 7 frankly leaves me open mouthed.

There are lots of parents who are unsupportive and actively work against schools. Some are openly hostile, others on the surface are co-operative but behind doors slag off the school, meaning their children can find it quite hard to accept the school's authority. Takes all sorts. Most, of course, are perfectly supportive and helpful.

RhiWrites · 16/08/2016 09:52

As an author who visits schools I always hope the kids will have read something of mine and liked it - or will give my books a go after meeting me.

It's not fun when the kids seem bored or forced to be there or ask "why aren't you JK Rowling?"

Perhaps your DD could see it as being polite to the school's visitor to give the book a proper go. But if she really hates it don't force her, it will show that she doesn't want to be there.

Hulababy · 16/08/2016 09:53

Just get her to do a quick read in the final week. How big is the book? Will it take long?
I wouldn't spend ages on it though / quick read just before term starts.
She won't be the only one not interested in it and there will definitely be children who haven't read it ime. But she'd be in a better position before the author comes in if she does just get it read.

I assume she is already reading other things of interest to her so get her to just see this one as one of the things she just has to do, like any other homework might be.

Not a great idea of the school really. They should want their new pupils to join the school happy and refreshed and looking forward to starting. For some children joining secondary can be an anxious time for many reasons. Giving them a book to read before they've started which may not be if an interest to them isn't ideal. Yes later she will have to read others she may not enjoy but at least that's once they are actually there and settled in.

You're not a bad parent for wanting your 11yo to just enjoy her break and get to read things that interest her. Some posters just like to be OTT with their comments ime.

Original poster

sonlypuppyfat · 16/08/2016 09:56

She is going to read it she says she wants to make a good impression, I really don't see how I'm a terrible person for seeing her opinion on that it seems a very dull book

OP posts:

Original poster

sonlypuppyfat · 16/08/2016 10:10

hulababy thank you for your post that's how I feel, she's very anxious about starting school as it is. I've been made to feel like the worst person in the world

OP posts:

Kit30 · 16/08/2016 11:22

Yup, sounds like hard going - difficult to get into something when you don't have anything in common with the main character. Don't really understand why schools go for USA texts - they're written in English (sort off) but seem to only underline the cultural differences, and not in a good way. We had Tuck Everlasting last year. Hated it - seemed to be about a creepy immortal paedophile seducing a 10 year old.

Kit30 · 16/08/2016 11:32

Cheat Sheet
I think it's been made into a film - might be less painful to watch it. TBH I don't find the subject matter (abuse/illness) appealing but I suspect the themes will be linked to personal health/ development classes.

CancellyMcChequeface · 16/08/2016 14:27

I disagree that children's lives are 'one big holiday' - it's a statement showing a profound lack of empathy for children. They might not face the same issues that adults do, but that doesn't make the difficulties of their lives any less real to them. Maybe you had an idyllic childhood, but lots of us were glad to grow up and have more control over our lives!

OP, I was an avid reader as a child and I'd have found a book about sports incredibly dull. Not everyone is interested in the same stories! I'd suggest she skim-reads it, taking note of the major characters and plot events. If it gets more interesting later in the story, she might want to read more, and if not, she'll have the basic knowledge necessary for Y7 work. You aren't a terrible person. I think you're a good parent for understanding her point of view and not taking the unthinking standpoint that all homework is always good and necessary for children, regardless of the details or context! (You can show empathy while still suggesting that she read enough of it to get by at school, much as you would if a friend complained about having to do boring tasks for work!)

Original poster

sonlypuppyfat · 16/08/2016 18:35

Mcchequeface what a kind thing to post. I do think should I be more of a pushy parent and fill her holiday with work sheets and books. But I think at 11 your still little, well my DD is and there are years and years to come full of things you have to do, why can't she just enjoy her holiday

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 16/08/2016 18:49

There's definitely a balance to be struck. I don't think it's right to make them do loads of work over the summer, but if there's stuff set by the school that really has to be done. I like the idea of her choosing a book she'd like to read for after she's finished the one she's got to get through for school.

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