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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Terrible holiday parenting.

338 replies

LewisAndClark · 15/08/2016 10:44

It can't be just me?

Ds1 (nearly 14) has barely left the house. He's barely left his room, actually. He's permanently plugged in to his pc. I've coaxed him out a few times to come out to lunch with us and he's been on one dog walk. Other than meals and the occasional family film we've barely seen him.

DD (12) has only slept here a handful of times, she's either been sleeping over with her friends or at Grandma's. Again, we see her for meals and not much else, although she's come on a few dog walks.

Ds2 (nearly 5) has spent the majority of his time in pyjamas watching tv. He's been out every day with me and the dog and we've been to the park a couple of times, but mainly he's been either playing in his room or watching YouTube.

I've just realised that between them they've gone through a large tub of Nesquick in a week, and god knows how many biscuits. They are all constant grazers, although tbf ds1 has a fruit fetish so we've gone through oodles of grapes and plums too.

Am I an utter failure this summer? Please tell me there are others who are as slack as me? It's not the idyllic, adventure filled holidays I imagined for them, but they just don't want to DO much.

OP posts:
falange · 16/08/2016 20:05

I think that sounds terrible. Make the youngest get dressed ffs! Switch off the wifi!!

BiddyJ · 16/08/2016 20:18

Any child from any background can fall into this situation, and there's not much you can do as a parent but try and dissuade them as best you can. Been there done that, thankfully out the other side now. Jaykay be strong xx

Helmetbymidnight · 16/08/2016 20:27

I've found this thread a reassuring read Smile

Snowwhitequeen · 16/08/2016 20:28

I'm envious of those with older kids who entertain themselves...mine are under 5 and there's no way I'd get away with so much relaxation. These holidays have been fecking relentless so far. I literally can't wait until September when nursery / school reopens. I've done four weeks already, another three to go. Today I have been a shouty fed up mother who just wants some bloody peace and space. Luckily the 4yo will watch some crap educational videos on the iPad but I don't let her do it for more than an hour or two as I feel guilty, even if it is the only peace I get from 7am - 7pm. I should lighten up I'm sure.

Helmetbymidnight · 16/08/2016 20:30

You still feel guilty about the older ones though: unfortunately that doesn't go away.

dansmum · 16/08/2016 20:36

"All fed, none dead". Madam I salute you. Finest comment yet Smile

caitlinohara · 16/08/2016 20:54

Haven't read whole thread but this is broadly what I envisage our house to be like when mine get a bit older. Eldest not at the stage of having own computer or phone or allowed home alone yet so I am still in control but I don't fancy my chances of enticing him out once he is!

caffelatte100 · 16/08/2016 20:55

Some lady time is good but personally, I would limit the screen time for all the kids. Switch off the WIFI as a PP suggested.

There must be other things you can do together? Can you watch a film together, go to the library, bake/cook, gardening, board games, declutter/sort out toys, give them jobs to earn some money etc…

caffelatte100 · 16/08/2016 20:56

lazy! (not lady!)

SemiNormal · 16/08/2016 20:57

This thread has cheered me right up!

I've been feeling like a failure this summer holidays. DS went to his nans for about 5 days at the start of the holidays, since then we've had one day trip out of town, about 4 half days at the beach and not much else. Problem is, first beach trip resulted in him dropping a boulder on my foot and since then my foot has been in agony somedays - one day it'll be okay(ish) but the next day I can barely walk, reluctantly booking Drs appointment tomorrow to see if there is more than bruising damage - it's been 3 weeks!

midlifehope · 16/08/2016 21:04

I would go stir crazy personally. We've had play dates (only a couple), meeting friends at a local beach, park, car boots, camping, family centre, local markets, cinema, a few hrs of TV and dvds here and there. Visited a castle and a folly farm. We have another long weekend planned and will visit a botanic garden etc. I have younger ones though - and their high energy levels mean they need to get out everyday!

I'd go mad doing nothing.

Daydream007 · 16/08/2016 21:05

Sounds pretty normal to me. Most households are probably the same as yours over the summer.

PacificDogwod · 16/08/2016 21:10

This must be one of the most reassuring threads I've read. Ever.

School's gone back here yesterday and guess what? They are all glad to be back Grin
I think they were boring themselves towards the end...

JockMonsieur · 16/08/2016 21:10

i let mine play on the wii all day today
we've done our share of wholesome family activities
but fuck it, I've got a stressful job and limited annual leave, and so I fully intend to spend at least a few of my days off working on my to-read pile,

3luckystars · 16/08/2016 21:21

I had a baby at the end of June so have spent weeks stuck in, I am only getting back on my feet this week to bring the older children places.
Feel like discipline has gone out the window, they are not eating well and have been in front of a screen way too much this summer.
I did my best under the circumstances but it hasn't been great really.

Benedikte2 · 16/08/2016 21:44

Lucky stars, don't be so hard on yourself -- not very long since you gave birth and have had to get or are getting baby into a routine and coping with changed family dynamics.
As another poster said -- All fed, none dead'
The demands on mothers today re holidays are so much greater than they used to be. Two generations ago and hardly anyone went away -- just the odd day out and 3 generations ago and children would be minding each other if in town or if rural helping in the fields.
You work with what you've got and this is the first generation to have had PCs and tablets from birth and how the hell do you totally keep them away from those as rationing is hard enough. This techy world is agin mums

Memoires · 16/08/2016 21:47

DD apears some hours after midday, and wafts about eating fruit or biscuits. Otherwise she's plugged into YouTube or fb or both, sometimes adds Netflix into the mix. She has come to the shops with us a couple of times AND HAS CUT THE GRASS!!!!!!!!!

I think she wins Grin

AllieinWonderland · 16/08/2016 22:06

Thank you OP!! Thank you so much!!! It's not rubbish, I reckon everyone needs a bit of a break and if YouTube does it for them so be it!!
None of mine have done much more - we had our yearly Cornwall camping trip with a big group of other families which seems to have been the extent of their socialising...
DSS1 (18) has barely left his room and eaten enough chocolate digestives (which he claims to hate) to put him in a sugar coma... The younger three step sons (13, 12 & 10) have played basketball both in and out of the house almost constantly...
DS1(15) has barely been home between time with mates and the new girlfriend (number 3 already )
DD2 (13) has been in her room on social media almost constantly, though she has completed all of her summer homework... She also made a very intense, all consuming and ultimately unsuccessful effort to purchase a limited edition "Kylie lip kit" which was high pressure for all the family! DDs 3 and 4 (10 and 6) have watched a lot of tv, joined in the basketball until they got fed up, and baked far too many biscuits (though not too many for DSS1 and DS1 to get through to be fair) but not done much of note.
That said, DD1 (16) has been out every day since we got back yet still somehow found the time to read 20 books, watch 22 episodes of some old American drama, and paint her room... I'm not sure sleep's been happening and meals have been two a day at best.
So not all fed... But still none dead!

Houseofmaidens · 16/08/2016 22:58

Let's get on AIBU..is 3 pints of Nesquick and half a ton of Rich Tea a healthy meal?

Kidsrulethishouse · 16/08/2016 23:10

No holiday here but we have aimed for one decent day trip a week. Funds are limited though and everything is so expensive!
Also I want to take them swimming but 3 children under 5 is tricky with only one adult. We've done lots of crafts. TV counts as decent entertainment if it's Harry Potter and popcorn is involved.
YouTube has featured heavily. My eldest has taken to making pretend YouTube videos, providing us with running commentary of everything she does!

CremeEggThief · 16/08/2016 23:18

Sounds fine to me, Houseofmaidens Smile.

Yasmin1592 · 17/08/2016 00:45

My kids are only allowed a certain amount of time with electronics each day so unless they want to be bored all day they have to come out with me.

falange · 17/08/2016 05:05

Good for you. Can't understand why people allow children to play on them or watch them for hours each day. It's not hard to stop them. If resistance is met switch off wifi and change password.

Yorkieheaven · 17/08/2016 05:41

sounds fine op. Holidays are for relaxing and re charging.

My older ones at work now but teens have been away with is, abroad with friends and just got back from a 4 day festival. They have part time jobs too so days off are days off in this house and everyone does what they bloody well like if that's endless wifi time well that's fine.

Was strict when they were younger though.

3luckystars · 17/08/2016 07:20

Benedikte2, thank you for your kind words, that was really nice of you and you make a good point.

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