Name changing but regular.
I had a severely abusive childhood resulting in PTSD, which I've been in therapy for a long time for. I've made massive progress over the years and I think I've done incredibly well, and am now at the point where I have a pretty good and emotionally healthy life, an excellent career, wonderful friends. I am still dealing with sex phobia and have yet to have a serious romantic relationship, and a recent indecent assault made me have a bit of a breakdown and prompted me to go back to therapy short-term. (I am very proactive in managing my MH.)
My GP and psychiatrist are both wonderful, but I really don't like my new therapist. I've had two 40-min sessions with her so far and I feel that she's made a lot of snap judgements about me and is very black and white in her thinking. She's less interested in letting me speak and spends most of the time making pronouncements about me. Some examples:
She told me about ten minutes after meeting that she thought I was autistic. I have professional experience with people on the autistic spectrum, I have a family member with autism, and have been properly tested for it in the past - I know that I don't have autism. I think it was because I was recounting my abuse in an unemotional 'just the facts' way, but that's because I've been in therapy for over a decade and have told my 'tale of woe' so many times.
I have a tricky relationship with my DM who has MH issues, she can sometimes be very loving and caring, and other times neglectful and self-absorbed. I was recounting an upsetting conversation where I was trying to tell DM about a work success and she was obsessing about something that had happened in a shop, and T interrupts with, "And your mother will NEVER tell you she's proud of you so you need to stop chasing her approval." But most of the time DM is very interested in my successes and fulsome in her praise and pride.
I said I'd ended up having a lot of messy tearful conversations with acquaintances in the immediate aftermath of the assault, she interrupts with, "well that's because you have no boundaries, so you don't know that it's inappropriate." Um, I'm perfectly aware that it's inappropriate to messy cry and spill all about being assaulted to a casual acquaintance and I'd never dream of doing it normally (I'm normally pretty reserved except with my oldest friends). I only did it because I'd just been assaulted and was having a breakdown!
She keeps saying things like, "You don't have any friends" or "you struggle a lot with friendships, don't you?" - genuinely not true. I have lots of friends, three very close friends, and one 'best' friend I've known for years and years. I think my friendships are very healthy and have healthy boundaries and it's not something I worry about at all. I keep telling her this but she seems absolutely wedded to this perception of me as a total mess with zero boundaries and no friends.
I made some flippant comment about "does anyone really have perfect boundaries, I don't think anyone in my industry does", and she interrupted "oh no that's because of you, you have such poor boundaries you only attract people who also have serious boundary issues." I wasn't talking about my friends or people I've chosen to have in my life (I don't think any of my friends have boundary issues, they're all pretty well-adjusted) but about basically my entire industry, which is infamous for boundary issues.
The person who assaulted me is a public figure and she demanded I tell her his name and one other relevant name. I don't know why she needed that info and it felt a odd. In our first session she told me what a big fan she is of the specific area both he and I work in (imagine we're both Olympic divers, her saying she follows diving ardently - it's not diving but something equally niche.)
In our first session, she told me I'm not allowed to try to date for a year because I'm too damaged. In our second that I should abandon any hope of ever having more than a casual 'small talk' relationship with my mother. I worked and trained in mental health before switching to my current career so I am pretty well-educated on the MH system and best practise. I know it's hard to be objective about yourself, and I know I have some problems, but it feels off. It concerns me that she's made such concrete inflexible black and white decisions about me, and I don't think it is the job of a therapist to lay down the law and make pronouncements about a patient, especially right after meeting. I know I do have boundary issues and other issues but I've been working hard on them for years. She's acting like it's my first time in therapy!
On the other hand, I'm used to people (including my GP, psychiatrist, past Ts) telling me how amazing and strong I am for overcoming my past and achieving everything I've achieved. Which is nice, but sometimes makes me feel hollow. I can't help but think maybe she has a point and her no pulling punches is 'better' for me and I'm upset at my ego being bruised.