Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to tidy up after him?

43 replies

notsurewhattodo123 · 14/08/2016 14:23

I'm housesitting for my mum at the moment as my 23 YO brother is a bit of a pain...

He's the laziest person I've ever met. I've been cooking his meals and my OH does the washing up after. Brother spends pretty much every evening in the pub after work, so eats when he gets home later. I wake up in the morning to his half eaten dinner on the side, plus other general mess everywhere... So I've gone on strike. I've been cooking his meals (my mum does it and asked me to continue while she's away) but have been leaving his mess on the side for him to sort out. So far he's accumulated 10 glasses and three plates, one still has dinner on it from 3 days ago...

My mum babys him (she does this in all aspects of his life and thinks she's helping), I've tried to tell her that she's making him a nightmare for his future partner/anyone he ends up living with but she gets defensive and there's no point pushing the point further. When I ask him to tidy up after himself, we end up arguing.

I have one week left... AIBU to keep leaving his mess everywhere?! It's driving me crazy looking at it, and I know it'll go back to my mum tidying up after him. Am I making my own life difficult out of stubbornness?! The mess is horrible but I really think he needs to realise that there's not a magical cleaning fairy who tidys up after him...

OP posts:
OpenMe · 14/08/2016 15:59

Not entirely relevant to this thread but I don't understand house-sitting. What's it for? (if you don;t have a strange juvenile brother who needs catering for). What are you supposed to be doing/preventing? And who's looking after the house-sitter's house?

turquoise88 · 14/08/2016 16:19

OP, as others have asked, why is he not the one house sitting? Why are you there doing it all?

Vickyyyy · 14/08/2016 16:30

All that will happen here is your mother will get back to a filthy house..hes not suddenly going to start cleaning as the place is a tip. I cannot believe she allows this behaviour from an adult.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/08/2016 16:40

Sadly, I think that is it Vickyyyy. The DM fears that she will come back to a bomb site if she leaves her DS home alone and her solution to the problem is to get another woman in to tidy up after him, rather than expecting him to look after the house himself Sad.

Choceeclair123 · 14/08/2016 16:51

I think your brother is going to be single for a LONG time!

OpenMe · 14/08/2016 16:53

I can't imagine a conversation where I was asked to go in and cook for a 23yo which didn't go "Really?"

Crinkle77 · 14/08/2016 17:00

Why are you house sitting? There is no need if your brother is there. Just go home and leave him to it.

Lilaclily · 14/08/2016 17:02

If you're not getting paid is go home

You and your mum are facilitating this nonsense

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/08/2016 18:23

"All that will happen here is your mother will get back to a filthy house..hes not suddenly going to start cleaning as the place is a tip. I cannot believe she allows this behaviour from an adult."
Well, maybe it will give OP's mum the wake-up call she so desperately needs. If her house is a tip on her return, then that is the rod she made for her own back.

0nTheEdge · 14/08/2016 19:08

Sounds like OP is house sitting to prevent DB from running a bit wild and trashing the place with house guests, etc. otherwise of course he would be the one house sitting!
OP it sounds like you've done the right thing and got some results already. Good effort! I'd have done the same, told him I wasn't cooking any more meals until he'd tidied his crap up. He's still got it far too easy if you ask me, but you're in a difficult position as you promised your mum you would cook for him. I think you've found a good compromise, you've managed to get him to make a tiny bit of effort! Hope you get him to keep it up!

DixieNormas · 14/08/2016 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 14/08/2016 19:22

I'd tell your mum I was going home.

Trufflethewuffle · 14/08/2016 19:24

Serve his meal on top of the leftovers.

TheDowagerCuntess · 14/08/2016 19:28

Who's looking after your house?

Original poster
notsurewhattodo123 · 14/08/2016 20:48

0nTheEdge thank you - I'm not expecting miracles or anything, but as long as he tidys up after himself, the rest isn't really my problem.

I completely agree that he has it too easy, and think I need to speak to my mum when she gets home - she's made life a doddle for him, but he's just got no respect as a result! She has made a rod for her own back, and I think the only person to fix it is her!

TheDowagerCuntess my house is empty, but it's only a few minutes away so I'm popping back every now and then.

OP posts:
Original poster
notsurewhattodo123 · 14/08/2016 20:49

Trufflethewuffle what a brilliant idea! Grin

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 14/08/2016 21:18

So it's been pitched to you as 'house-sitting', when it's not that at all.

It's man-child-sitting.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/08/2016 23:28

"she's made life a doddle for him"
She really hasn't. He's going to find life very difficult when he leaves his mummy. Or is her aim to trap him at home with her?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread