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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that taking a picture of her kid was weird?

83 replies

Grannypants1 · 14/08/2016 09:15

So I don't have a vendetta against photographs, let me clear that up. But recently I saw one of the mums on my facebook write a post about her DD. Now usually I actually quite like her. She does have a condition in which she gets headaches and we do get daily updates and the occasional selfie of her lying down looking sad or a photo of her on every single hospital visit, but apart from being a little bit of a trufflepig for tragedy she is actually a fairly nice women. But she did something and I can't get over how weird I think it is. DD must be 8 or 9 and on mums birthday picnic she slipped on the quarry and fell 20ft into the rocks. She must have been absolutely terrified! Emergency services come and took DD to the hospital and it was found that there were no injuries apart from a scratch. Great news for everyone. But then she wrote a post on facebook about DD under the heading 'sorry I haven't replied to anyone today' and along with the post is a picture she has taken of her child in the ambulance strapped up, eyes closed and looking close to death?! Part of me wonders at what point in the journey to the hospital (at which point she didn't know if her DD was okay and must have been full of panic) did she stop to take a picture of her little one. surely the only purpose of taking that can be to post online for sympathy? Does anyone else find it a bit odd, that taking a picture occurred to her at all? Or Aibu?

OP posts:

hrtbigbutt · 14/08/2016 09:55

People are weird and endless stream of social media is proof of this/

JacketPoTayTo · 14/08/2016 09:59

Another one who couldn't get past "trufflepig for tragedy" my new favourite phrase. I shall use it today!

DixieNormas · 14/08/2016 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frumpet · 14/08/2016 10:07

I personally wouldn't have done this , I recently was involved in a life and death situation with a family member and I can honestly say I was too sick with worry to take a picture of them in the ambulance or check in at the hospital on facebbok when we arrived . I did tell a few people who I know when I got back from the hospital . I still haven't posted about it on Facebook though , primarily because the person it invovled doesn't really 'do' Facebook and it would feel odd telling all and sundry about it that way , the people who count in real life know .

Cloudhopping · 14/08/2016 10:07

I too think this is weird OP. Social media for some means documenting and publicly displaying every single part of their lives. The boundaries of what is normal or not have massively changed and for some there are none. It makes me think of a friend of a good friend who documented minute by minute updates on fb whilst her husband was having a heart attack.

I also think that little thought is given to the rights and privacy of our dc's when posting pics on fb. I post very few photos of my dc's on fb but always think to myself beforehand are they going to be happy about this when they're older? Not sure I'd be particularly happy now if my mum had posted photos of me as a child on the 70's equivalent of fb when I was at my most vulnerable.

ALemonyPea · 14/08/2016 10:07

I have a friend like this, posts every minute of her life on FB. She once live FBed her labour, cm by cm and even found the time to let us all know she was about to start pushing.

She lives for the drama of FB.

skatesection · 14/08/2016 10:08

A student of mine died suddenly, her mum put the open casket photos on Facebook. People are fucking weird with social media.

Rubies12345 · 14/08/2016 10:10

Ooh I have a friend like that. She's gluten intolerant so we get status updates like "life's so hard when you're gluten intolerant".

Anyway, she decided to get DD tested, nothing wrong with the child, put a pic up with her in the hospital pulling her best sad face with the caption "difficult time for us all with DD in hospital". After 100 messages from worried relatives asking what happened she finally explained a few days later. BTW tests showed DD had no food intolerances

Chippednailvarnishing · 14/08/2016 10:13

FB friend of DH has a child with respiratory problems. There was a post along the lines of "Timmy can't breath, just waiting for the ambulance" and photo of Timmy looking like death. I seriously question their motivation.

Discobabe · 14/08/2016 10:15

Yanbu. It is weird. Skewed priorities.

JinkxMonsoon · 14/08/2016 10:19

Some people are relentless attention seekers. Or, yes, trufflepigs for tragedy

The fact she posted a photo of her child strapped onto an ambulance trolley, looking seriously hurt, with no further details shows that she was living for all the concerned replies she was going to get.

Vague booking at its finest! She could have posted a photo of her child sitting up in A&E later on with a "lucky girl! Not a scratch!" but she didn't.

cherryplumbanana · 14/08/2016 10:20

I wouldn't judge other people simply because they are reacting differently.

Sometimes looking through a camera gives you a distance with the drama, and it helps some people to cope. Taking a photo can be a way to calm herself.

What's wrong with posting updates on facebook? Not everybody has 700 friends for a start, and it's a way to ask for help without putting people on the spot. Once you call someone directly, you force them to be involved. If you post on social media, friends and family are free to ignore, or show they are available to help if they are. When your close ones are not in the same time zone, it's not that easy to wake them up middle of the night for every bruise and scratch.

I am a very private person, I don't share any news, but that also means that I am left alone to cope with everything. It's fine, but I totally understand why others chose a different way and have a big support network.

Original poster

Grannypants1 · 14/08/2016 10:21

Oh no @chippednailvarnishing who does that?!

OP posts:

Diglet · 14/08/2016 10:24

YANBU. - it's weird and very self indulgent. I can see taking snaps in other similar instances such as waiting for a cast or even when your child is in hospital for something serious but I think it's odd to do it when you are rushing to the hospital. It's really cringe to post too much drama llama stuff on Facebook.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 14/08/2016 10:25

I agree that continually updating on social media has become like breathing for some people. Documenting your child's accident as it is happening for attention is a step too far.

When I visited a theme park recently, I was struck by how consumed by social media a lot of the teenagers were. Constantly taking pictures and updating on their phones.
A group of girls in the restaurant spent their whole meal taking selfies and photos of their food. I don't think they had an actual conversation the whole meal. It was odd.

KoalaDownUnder · 14/08/2016 10:31

Ugh. Some of these anecdotes are appalling.

No, it's not normal. Smacks of teenage attention-seeking of the highest order.

PurpleAquilegia · 14/08/2016 10:33

Bit of a trufflepig for tragedy...

I think I love you, Grannypants! That made me

Chippednailvarnishing · 14/08/2016 10:38

Smacks of teenage attention-seeking of the highest order
Exactly. And there always seems to be a lack of updates so more and more people post wondering what's happened.

champersandgin · 14/08/2016 10:39

I took a photo of my mum hours before she died (she had a neurological disease). I have never ever shown anyone that photo. My dh is the only one who knows I took it.

For me, it's not the taking that's odd. It's the sharing of it. Such a personal moment. I wouldn't want the world to see.

justilou · 14/08/2016 10:41

I have never heard anyone described as a truffle pig. I applaud you and hope to borrow that one in the future. Your friend sounds like a narcissist.

WhooooAmI24601 · 14/08/2016 10:45

I have a friend who tags herself in at our local A&E whenever she needs an attention boost. It is slightly unhinged, needing to boost your ego by those means.

lljkk · 14/08/2016 10:50

Maybe she thought it was the last time she might see her DD conscious?
Sheesh, first world problem or what. Unfollow if you don't want to know about what happens in her life.

Floggingmolly · 14/08/2016 10:51

Hideous. I innocently enquired after one of ds2's classmates who'd had an asthma attack (I barely know her mum, just had her number on my phone from a party invite) and was sent a wordless text containing a photo of the child (aged around 7, iifc) lying in a hospital bed, eyes closed, with tubes inserted in her nose
I thought she was dead! Very bizarre thing to do.

Thefitfatty · 14/08/2016 10:54

Everyone handles situations like this differently. Some are "private" don't talk about it people, others are reach out and talk about it people. Social media has certainly made it easier for the more extroverted people to talk and voice their issues, but that doesn't make it wrong or hideous, or narcissistic.

Original poster

Grannypants1 · 14/08/2016 10:55

lljkk Except DD didn't look concious and in that case there is no need to post the picture on facebook hours later when DD is already at home fine. Personally I still think it is odd when you are rushing a child to hospital to point a camera at them instead of comforting them. Bit morbid.

OP posts:

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