People who sing on nights out

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

Outing myself here but I just don't care.

Dh's family are singers, well two of them, sing at weddings/funerals etc, some of the others can sing and some like to think they can. On nights out they sing, every single fucking night, they never don't sing, ever, even if it's unwelcome, they sing, it's their thing and it's the same songs over and over, no change, god forbid they would change. Anyway, when they sing they expect quiet, nobody can speak, wee, go to the bar etc. Aibu to think this is rude? I don't mind a bit of singing, sing if you like but its a pub not a concert, I'm respectful, speak in hushed tones/whispers etc but aibu in thinking everyone needs to be quiet so they can sing is unreasonable? Like put on a concert if you want people to just cut and listen to you

Dh and I had words tonight as the bar closed and I wanted to leave but he thought I should stay (drinkless) and listen to the same people sing the same songs as i always do and just sit there, I think i rarely get a night out so saying a polite goodbye (in between songs) is ok to do and we could have continued our night elsewhere. Aibu?

Dear FIL used to sing 'The Northern Lights of Aberdeen' at the end of any gathering and we'd all have to sit and listen (I don't think he'd ever been to Aberdeen ). Now he's no longer with us, I'd love to hear him sing it again.

I could have got up to leave but, whether it was rude or not, I would have appeared rude to them. I didn't want bad-feeling so I put up with it. It's up to you whether you feel strongly enough about this to make a point and leave, or just put up with it as occasional, slightly eccentric family behaviour.

Do it 😊 my dads turn is Elvis his 65th birthday party lasted an hour longer because his thanks for coming speech turned into pissed Elvis we had to sit down again

As long as it's not 'Danny boy'

I'm Irish too & these nights are par for the course. Thankfully dh's family are Presbyterian & just into church singing - as opposed to my large catholic family who love a hoolie!

Oh yeah My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Yes it is the milkshake song user, where they rince soapy cars with their bum cheeks in a car wash wearing bikinis? I could do that totally

Iloveagoodbrusselsprout to be fair I would never just get up and leave, it would be respectful, I'd never rude and I certainly wasn't last night either but I do get what you are saying about when they die, I'm trying to imagine missing the singing them though and I certainly can't see it

That's the one, you just need to make sure you start first though. You know, so you set the mood!

My auto correct is brutal sorry

I would like to clarify that I do love a good hoolie, I feel I may be letting down the Irish here 😂 I just want a bit of spontaneity

I was going to say - are you Irish? But was beaten to it! I've experienced this many a time on a night out or at a wedding (in the residents' bar afterwards etc). It can be a bit cringey as they are so earnest about it too. Just make a very subtle exit under the pretence that you're going to the loo as soon as anyone looks like singing!!

Set the mood/render them all speechless

I fell your pain OP I ended a relationship because he was a singer. On the bus, at home and at parties. He would burst into song with the voice of an 90 year old womens institute dear who had gone deaf after a tragic accident at the county fair. And we went for a quiet lunch for my friends birthday, tea and cake and all that jazz. Then in the middle of a conversation with the birthday girl about a rather serious matter. He bursts into song in the middle of the room and expected silence. On the way home I secured my own silence from him. She you can't do that to the inlaws

Loving the beat box suggestions , or if that's too difficult, could you whip a couple of spoons out and accompany the singer with some background percussion?

Im Scottish must be a celtic thing do the irish sing at funeral teas ? They do here usually some old boy in the corner who starts

grannypants you need to expand on that story, that's hilarious, what did he sing? What was the reaction from your friends? That's so funny

This didn't even strike me as odd, having been conditioned by Irish family from a young age
You need to learn your own song. You're allowed to leave after you sing. and tell your DH to stop doube-dating with his entire family

They all sound terribly full of themselves.

I'm a fairly competent recorder player but I wouldn't pull it out and treat people to an impromptu show at social gatherings. Most people have a talent but we don't go round showcasing it at random.

Britain's Got Talent has a lot to answer for.

Coming from an Irish family this is a very familiar scenario. I love the atmosphere of an impromptu singsong but IMO it should be just part of a good night in a bar, with background chat, glass chinking and laughter as an accompaniment.

The only time that silence is strictly enforced is if it is a new singer or visitor who seems nervous. Even then the chat will rise again towards the end of a song. Apart from that is is business as usual - unless someone is particularly or unexpectedly good my DDs ahem. In which case there might be a spontaneous silence leading to the highest possible accolade 'Well done, ye silenced the the bar!'

I have one group of friends where they have taken this to ridiculous levels with people turning up with keyboards, pas, music on their iPads etc. This is a total PITA when their singing drowns out conversation and their desire to show off seems to be more important than socialising.

YANBU - it sounds awful. I'd have to get very drunk.

Ugh......OP totally get you. Two close family members who are mediocre at best musicians are writing songs together. They know they are not great but they enjoy doing it. They inflict it on us/their partners on a regular basis. Given that it's a small group it would be very rude to talk over them so we sit uncomfortably bored out our minds as they "rehearse/compose" their new ditty....same song over and over.

Can you keep a book with you and surreptitiously read under the table?

Sorry, but this is making me snort with laughter.

I had an uncle who used to warble 'Trees' when he was pissed.

"I think that I should never seeeeeeee
A thing as lovely as a treeeeeeeeeeee"

Bless him.

Love the beat boxing suggestion. Do it!

I'm astounded this is an actual thing! How unutterably mortifying. However it's the sort of thing where the people who should be most embarassed aren't, just everyone else who has to be polite. Perhaps you shouldn't bother - after all, they're not. (A good impromptu singsong that doesn't dominate, or alternatively everyone starts joining is, is different. Only acceptable at a late and drunk hour though - and no enforced singing!)

Perhaps you should film them, and play it back to them incessantly when they're sober because you enjoyed it so much.

Cigars I used to know someone who was surgically attached to his guitar. Everywhere he went, out it came and strum strum strum.
He wasn't a bad player, but after a while I wanted to make him eat the damn thing.

I know someone like this. Don't actually mind the guiter/whatever else he's playing, he doesn't expect everyone to stop what they're doing/talking. However he taps his foot along to the music in the most distracting way. I say "taps"; the motion is "tapping" but it feels more like a mini earthquake. Can't concentrte on a thing and makes want to tear his leg off.

I have an uncle who loves to dominate any family do with his spectacularly dull piano recitals. At my Dad's wake, he sat there for two and half hours until I lost it and told him it was rude, dominating and if he was going to play "A Whiter Shade of fucking Pale" he should get the chord progression right and showed him where he went wrong.

I doubt it will change anything, but I'd been dying to do it for years. BTW - I might have mentioned slamming the lid down on his fingers if he played "Piano Bloody Man"

Doinmummy

Nocabbageinmyeye It was always Taking Back Sunday - what it feels like to be a ghost. One person nervous laughed and good old birthday girls jaw dropped. By this point I was used to asking him if he was quite finished. For some reason he used to laugh almost proudly like I had actually thrown my knix at him and fell to his feet over his wonderous sneak attack singing. Honestly a part of me died when I was with him, a part I will never be able to recover.

Haha I'm Irish too and this all sounds so familiar. I don't mind too much at family occasions, but I've a friend who sings the same Christy Moore song at every meetup. New people say how amazing she is (I used to think so myself), but she only does the one song. After hearing it six thousand times I want to rip my own ears off when she starts. Then the twenty minutes of how she should be in a band etc. Its excruciating.