To not know how to reconnect with DD

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I have 3 DC - DS who is 6, DD1 is 3 (nearly 4) and DD2 is 3 months.

DD1 has firmly had her nose put out of joint by the arrival of her sister. She loves her immensely but her behaviour is awful! I know she is attention seeking but her constant poking, prodding and yelling at the baby is wearing me down and I feel like DD1 feels very alone as all I seem to do is tell her off

I try my hardest to praise her when she is being kind and gentle but it feels like there is a bit of a gulf between us and I don't know how to bridge it!

Am I totally useless for not knowing how to start to deal with this? My 'let's be positive and be friends today' attitude never seems to last past breakfast!

I don't have any magic words of wisdom but just sharing some empathy. My youngest (4) was very very put out when my youngest arrived a few months ago, despite being super excited while I was pregnant, and was very heavy handed/ proddy/ even asked to give the baby back as we don't need it! I think he just found baby boring and wanted one that crawls or does something other than need my attention. Haven't got any advice other than a few quality days with my parents seemed to help as he got that 1:1 time that I could only give in short bursts. Things are much better now a few months on, think he'll be in his element once baby is crawling/ in a walker and he's got over losing his baby status in the family.

Sorry can't really help...just sharing your pain! X

U need to give her proper big sister jobs so she can grasp that being the oldest is more important than being a baby! Do something together when baby is asleep- so baby won't spoil the game! Let her choose daily outfit for baby /blanket /coat etc because she is big enough to choose! Let her stay up after the baby has gone to bed - even ten mins because she is older!