My friend is a lone parent too 4 boys (12, 9, 8 and 1). The eldest boys dad is in prison so he has no contact, the middle twos dad sees them about once or twice a month for a couple of hours if lucky, and the youngests dad doesn't want to know him. Friend also has custody of her two half brothers aged 8 and 3, on her dads side. So she has no family help (her mum moved away just before her DBs moved in and bar once fortnightly contact with her dad for the brothers, she has no help from her dads family either).
F really struggles taking all 6 DC out at the same time due to money and also not feeling she can manage the behaviour of the oldest who has ASD and is partially deaf as well as the other 5, so tends to only take her DS4 and her DB2 out when the older 4 are at school. With it being the holidays she hasn't managed to go anywhere with any of the DC - she's being doing her shopping online.
Today I went over with my 14 month old DD. I needed to pop to the supermarket for a few bits. Fs DSs 2 and 3 begged to come with me, I also asked if her DB1 wanted to come too. When DB1 said he wanted to come, DS1 also wanted to join us. F was worried I wouldn't be able to cope with them all particularly with DS1s condition, as well as my own DD.
But I took them anyway as I was certain F needed a break having spent 3 weeks in the house with all 6 children.
And I really enjoyed taking them out. I asked the DS1 to look out for his younger brother DS2 (the easiest and most laid back of all 4 of Fs DC), and he seemed to enjoy the responsibility, he'd stay behind him to make sure he kept him in sight at all times. The younger 2 boys were boisterous but not badly behaved; they'd run ahead of me and would shout out a commentary like a football match but they did as they were told and waited when I told them too. I took them all to the park and bought them ice cream after we'd been to the shop and they still behaved really well. The 12 year old played with my DD on the swings and the other 3 stayed nearby where I could see them. I was really pleased and surprised by their behaviour in a good way. I'm tired, but not angry or annoyed by their behaviour. The 12 year old even sent me a thank you text after I'd got home saying he'd enjoyed himself.
I'm now considering taking DSs 1, 2 and 3 out further afield next week. DB1 and 2 will be having their fortnightly contact with their dad (he visits them at Fs house), so it seems fairer to take the older 3 boys out DS4 is clingy of his mum so don't think it'd be fair to take him from his mum. I want to take them to a video game shop and buy them games, take them to a larger park which has several different playgrounds weather permitting obviously I'd then either have a picnic with them in the park or take them to a cheap little cafe I love going to. Obviously I'd pay for it including the train fare (10 mins on train) to get there, and wouldn't expect my friend to pay anything unless she wanted to - I can afford it.
My friend thinks I'm crazy, and is asking me to seriously think about whether I want to take all 3 of them out and whether I'd cope. My DD is a laid back soul and will happily go along with anything as long as she gets fed and changed regularly. So it'd just be making sure the 3 boys were ok.
AIBU to consider taking the boys out alone?