To not send wedding anniversary cards?

[LewisAndClark]

Or at least, to only send them to my parents and DH's?

I got shit the other month for not sending my sister one. DH and I been together for ten years and have never sent them to our siblings, or received them from mine.

It was our anniversary last week and we got cards from both DH's brothers, his parents and NOT my parents.

It was his brother's anniversary the week before and we didn't send a card (as we never do). This obviously happens every year and yet they still send us one so I've chalked it up to sil's love of cards for every occasion and thought no more of it. His other brother has a newish DP who is an avid card sender as well. Each to their own.

But then getting it in the neck from my mother about the lack of card for my sister has done my head in. And mother is obviously making a point by not giving us a card this year (I couldn't give two shits to be honest, I think cards are quite wasteful anyway).

I'm so confused. When did it become a thing to get anniversary cards from all and sundry? Surely anniversaries (other than big ones) are just about the couple and maybe their own children?

Or have I been a social fuckwit my whole life and offended all my friends and family with my wanton disregard for anniversary cards?

I've never sent an anniversary card.

It's bad enough to have to endure people's weddings without having to relive the moment every fucking year.

Take the piss next year. Get a mahoosive card and a three tiered cake. Force her to eat all of it whilst you scream, "It's your ANNIVERSARY!!" dementedly in the background whilst letting off fireworks and blowing a whistle.

So tiresome! A wedding anniversary is only of interest to the couple that it relates to. YANBU

The only reason I've realised my parents didn't send us one is because I've just taken all the cards down.

And it's so obviously a snub because she made a huge point of telling me I'd forgotten my golden child sister's anniversary.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so fucking petty.

I feel your confusion! I was very surprised to get anniversary cards for our first anniversary from DH's brothers and his niece as well as both sets of parents. My family have never sent cards for anniversaries, I didn't know it was a thing. I've chalked it up to my DH's family having a reverential love of cards for all occasions and not worried about it. But then I've never been called up on it for not sending one! That seems quite rude to me.

Exactly! DH's lot have always done cards for all occasions and never mentioned the lack of cards in response.

I wonder if they've been secretly seething this whole time and it's yet another bit of adulting I haven't got to grips with?

I refuse to believe that it's a social norm to celebrate other people's wedding anniversaries. Like, big ones, maybe, especially if you've been invited to a party for it. But just in general? Nope.

There was a thread about this about 6 weeks ago. The popular consensus by about 8 to 1 was the majority of people don't send them.

I do it for the first anniversary as it's a 'new' thing for the couple to get an anniversary card. Then maybe tenth year and subsequent big ones if they have a party etc. Every year for my parents but otherwise, no.

But OP I am intrigued when you say you just took 'all' the cards down. How many did you get? If people other than DH or DCs are sending them to you, doesn't that suggest there ARE people in the world who send them?

I don't send any. To anyone. We get one from the inlaws every year, but they are big card-sending fans. I wouldn't expect anyone to remember our anniversary date.

I said, we got cards from DHs parents and his two brothers.

I agree I get them from a couple of friends but now they send them in a PA way as I have never returned the favour. Cards are just a wasteful hassle for non events like that. Anniversary cards are surely only for partners to send to each other and possibly for their parents to send them?

Me and dh don't even send anniversary cards to each other. I certainly don't send them to anyone else.