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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or Wibu to report/make a complaint about this man?

18 replies

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 11/08/2016 12:39

I've recently signed up to couchsurfing as I am going travelling. Not necessarily going to stay with anyone as I'm a bit nervous about safety when travelling alone and so on. But I'm happy to make new friends, chat to people etc.

A guy contacted me from one of the places I'm going to and offered to host me (offered me a place to stay). I didn't want to say yes or no straight away so I thought I'd get in touch with him and have a chat to try and get to know him a bit better.

We chat for a bit, all normal, the weather in England, travelling, that kind of thing. All of a sudden he starts talking about sex and saying he's a submissive man and wants a dominant woman. Asks if I'd be happy to give/receive oral sex. I say I have a bf (I don't, but hey), I'm obviously not what he is looking for, and that I'm not comfortable continuing the conversation. He carries on for a while and starts literally begging me to buy me a present off Amazon. I said no, over and over as he kept asking and I told him I was going to terminate the conversation. He then got quite angry with me and asked if I think he's a piece of shit!

I'm not upset, you get weirdos everywhere, but Aibu to think I should report him to the couchsurfing people as I'd be very wary about other, maybe less confident women staying with him. It could be that it was just me he's done this to but it seems unlikely. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Welshrainbow · 11/08/2016 12:41

No not unreasonable. Report him.

Buggers · 11/08/2016 12:42

YANBU 100% report him!

Imnotaslimjim · 11/08/2016 12:43

Definitely report him, that's not on

myownprivateidaho · 11/08/2016 12:43

Yep of course report.

99percentchocolate · 11/08/2016 12:43

Definitely report him.

YouAreMyRain · 11/08/2016 12:44

Did he send you pics of his torso with "goddess" written over it?

KC225 · 11/08/2016 12:44

I am surprised you are questioning your own reaction. It is completely unacceptable. Report at once. Don't let it out you off travelling

TheNaze73 · 11/08/2016 12:45

He sounds like a wrong un. That was such an inappropriate thing to ask. I'd report. Makes me wonder if this tactic has worked before, for him to wheel it out. Really hope it hasn't

aginghippy · 11/08/2016 12:45

YANBU at all.

In fact, his behavior violates the Couchsurfing conduct policy

"Our members join Couchsurfing to create friendships. Don’t contact other members for dating, or use the site to find sexual partners. We will consider this harassment. We take reports of unwanted sexual advances, both online and offline, seriously and they may be considered violations of our Conduct policy."

SeenoevilHearnoevilSpeaknoevil · 11/08/2016 12:48

YouAremyrain ha!!!!

(Pretending I don't also spend too much time on MN)

Aeroflotgirl · 11/08/2016 12:59

Yes report, good thing you found out now!

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 11/08/2016 13:02

No, fortunately there were no pictures of him but he did send some of shoes :/

He was really, really insistent about buying me shoes off Amazon as 'tribute' because I talked to him. On the one hand I felt quite sorry for him if he is so desperate for friends that he is willing to buy expensive shoes for someone in another country he has never met and on the other hand I'm really bloody annoyed that he has treated me like some sort of prostitite, pimping myself out for 'gifts'!

OP posts:
FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 11/08/2016 13:04

Yes, very good thing! Hence why I wanted to talk to him before hand, to weed out the wrong 'uns.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 11/08/2016 13:09

He then got quite angry with me and asked if I think he's a piece of shit!

IF he is submissive then he was probably hoping you would say yes so he could knock one out. And the shoes thing was not a gift, it would be to do with his fetish.

Of course report!

Mummaaaaaah · 11/08/2016 13:12

report report report. straight away!

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2016 13:16

Yes, he would've loved it if you'd said he was shit. Made his day.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 11/08/2016 13:44

Ok, I have reported.

Just had an email back and he has been removed from Couchsurfing.

I'm glad that I reported and he's been removed but somehow I still feel a bit bad :/ Why??!!

OP posts:
RattieOfCatan · 11/08/2016 13:47

Report definitely, with screenshots! They won't be happy at all!

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