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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit hmm?

19 replies

Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 00:58

Guy I'm seeing from tinder keeps adjusting his profile pics and changing wording on his profile. It's very very early days but aibu to think that if he actually liked me, he wouldn't be investing time in his profile? Also some of his pics aren't on his FB (we're friends) aka have been taken especially for tinder... Which I find a bit wanky if I'm honest?!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 11/08/2016 01:09

""It's very very early days but aibu to think that if he actually liked me, he wouldn't be investing time in his profile? ""

I think that you YABU on that point. If you've been online dating (or any dating), you should be aware that people aren't often who they appear to be and you'd have to meet up a few times to know if you like someone.

Your finding fault with his profile, already.

Have you met up much?

Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 01:12

Twice, third date on horizon!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 11/08/2016 01:18

I OLD and I wouldn't be making my mind up, on suspending my online activity until at least the third date, but it would have to have been over at least three weeks.

Just5minswithDacre · 11/08/2016 01:20

Guy I'm seeing from tinder keeps adjusting his profile pics and changing wording on his profile. It's very very early days but aibu to think that if he actually liked me, he wouldn't be investing time in his profile?

If you're seriously dating, make a mental note and keep an eye on it.

It's that kind of think that would put me off using OLD again though; the insight into them keeping their options open destroys the romance of it all, even when it's fair enough.

Also some of his pics aren't on his FB (we're friends) aka have been taken especially for tinder... Which I find a bit wanky if I'm honest?!

Completely different. You sound s bit mad even saying that TBH Grin

Less than 1% of what's in my phone's camera roll makes it to FB ( or any social media). Why should it??

You use different pictures for different things don't you? Confused You need a photo or two for something, you scroll through and pick; you don't use the same ones everywhere.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 11/08/2016 01:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 01:23

You're right! Grin

In fairness to him (slight drip feed, sorry) we went on 2 dates then lost touch for a few months (absolute legitimate reasons) and he has got back in contact Blush So he is well within his rights to be doing this, I know!!

OP posts:
MiaowJario · 11/08/2016 01:23

No sex until monogamy.

Just5minswithDacre · 11/08/2016 01:24

Before third date is a but soon to be 'hmm'.

But like I say, OLD is essentially American style dating. In future I'm going back to waiting for them to fall at my feet besotted IRL Grin

Just5minswithDacre · 11/08/2016 01:26

What you need is some serious distraction.

You're in full-throttle over-think mode, my dear Smile

Ginkypig · 11/08/2016 01:37

So really what you saying is your almost back at date one.

You had 2 dates lost touch for months, are now back in touch but haven't gone on a date?

If I was in his position it wouldn't even occur to me yet to think we were dating as such. I might think that we we on track to me thinking about not looking at my old but not yet!

Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 01:44

Yes, that's right! Gah I am overthinking I know...

OP posts:
Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 01:46

It's just he seemed to like me a lot at the time (we don't communicate by OD now, just text etc) and now he's making his profile different and changing this/that... I genuinely just had a nosy look today and just thought why put so much effort in if you're supposedly excited to see me?! Blush

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 11/08/2016 01:51

Maybe it's his way of having 'insurance' against disappointment because he is keen on you?

There are several ways to interpret it. And no way of knowing.

Ginkypig · 11/08/2016 01:51

I don't know him so yes you might be right and if your radar is pinging keep an eye on it.

If it was me though I very well might be very excited but that wouldn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't also be acting like I was single still because I am and because you never know this early.

VioletBam · 11/08/2016 02:06

As someone who's never used Tinder, I can't get over the fact that people remain on it when they're seeing someone.

I KNOW it's the whole "We're just dating...it's not serious" thing but it just seems yuk.

Bearasarahus · 11/08/2016 02:08

In fairness to him, I am being a little crazy as we haven't seen each other for six months Blush and even then, I liked him but was all very brief and only two dates...

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 11/08/2016 02:09

You wouldn't like NYC violet Smile

(Neither do I.)

AcrossthePond55 · 11/08/2016 02:39

I've been out of the dating game for decades, but I always felt than unless two people specifically said 'We are exclusive' (or words to that affect) then either party was free to see other people.

Syrianamal · 11/08/2016 15:53

It's too soon to be exclusive I think OP

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