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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want time off ON MY OWN <pout>

27 replies

Gallopingthundercunt · 10/08/2016 15:40

DH has been off work since April due to ill health. He's not been actually "ill", just not able to work IYSWIM.

During this time I have worked extra shifts, carried out the bulk of the household tasks, done all the driving etc which I've not moaned about much, at all Today, joy of joys he's back at work and will hopefully quickly build back to five days a week, thus reducing some of the pressure on me.

So today I mentioned that I may book a few days off once school is back, just time to recharge, get the house back together and enjoy a little time without someone always chattering in my ear DH jumped at this idea as he apparently has some holiday left, and thinks it would be lovely for us to spend some time "together"

I think I did a passable imitation of thinking this a good idea, but quite frankly I want to be alone and left in peace I fully admit that he has found the last few months stressful as well, but he has at least had the opportunity to sit in front of the TV in his underpants, shovelling crisps down his throat if the mood so took him.

AIBU to want a few days off alone?

OP posts:
dollylucy · 10/08/2016 15:41

Of course yanbu

Coldhandscoldheart · 10/08/2016 15:42

Good grief no yanbu. We have had a similar situation & there have been a few times I have found an urgent need to go to the supermarket just to be alone with myself.

almostthirty · 10/08/2016 15:44

Yanbu! I am currently sprawled on the bed watching crappy TV ignoring housework
As I booked dc into nursery a day dg is at work. You definitely need alone time.

ButtMuncher · 10/08/2016 15:46

YANBU - hell no, book that time off and enjoy it. Have a spa Grin

Seriously though, you need some time to recharge in your own home and space without your DH being around. God knows I do sometimes and DH works a 50 hour week Grin

LemonRedwood · 10/08/2016 15:47

YANBU. I treasure time off on my own and we haven't had the illness and pressure you've had to deal with. DH is slowly learning not to book annual leave every time I'm on school holiday - he's nearly there Smile

Can you have a chat along the lines of "would really appreciate some time to myself to recharge, maybe we can look at time off together closer to Christmas" or something like that.

Original poster
Gallopingthundercunt · 10/08/2016 16:03

I suppose that would be a more reasonable response lemon Grin

And yes coldhands, I too have resorted to stamping round Waitrose and glaring at old people who dare to try and catch my eye Wink

OP posts:
BirdintheWings · 10/08/2016 16:10

Have a look at your schedule and discover that you can only have one day, oh dear. Spend that with him, take the rest later at vv short notice?

Or (more adult version) tell him that you're so knackered you'll be a grumpy sod for the first couple of days off, so could he book his time off for later in the week when you'll be more up to enjoying some company, please?

Pearlman · 10/08/2016 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheVeryThing · 10/08/2016 16:17

YANBU. Time to yourself, in your own home is a real luxury and something we all need.
My dh works from home so is always bloody there. It sounds terrible but it really puts me off booking annual leave for myself when the kids are at school/cm.

AndNowItsSeven · 10/08/2016 16:18

Why would you book annual leave for yourself if you have kids?

Lorelei76 · 10/08/2016 16:19

what Pearlman said.

TeaMeBasil · 10/08/2016 16:23

AndNowItsSeven......do you really not ever feel like you want/need time to yourself??

Op, tell him - take your days & enjoy them. I'd utterly lose my sanity if i didn't occasionally do this.

LindyHemming · 10/08/2016 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlingMurmuration · 10/08/2016 16:27

Tea, possible someone who has seven kids might not be the type of person who enjoys solo "me time". Obviously I could be wrong.

GreenFirefly · 10/08/2016 16:30

I'm thinking of some time off when school is back too. I seem to be in a constant work kids work kids... cycle and DH doing DIY at weekends means I'm chief childcare then too. I'm getting envious of his alone time with a paintbrush!

TeaMeBasil · 10/08/2016 16:38

Starling....blimey, I'd think that was EXACTLY the type of person who'd want a bit of me-time! Grin

But perhaps not set themselves up for ever having any.....

Lorelei76 · 10/08/2016 16:45

I thought a username like "AndNowItsSeven" would mean something about cocktail hour...!!

LemonRedwood · 10/08/2016 16:52

Are people who have children not allowed annual leave? Confused

TeaMeBasil · 10/08/2016 17:33

Lorelai...me too Blush

teacher54321 · 10/08/2016 17:41

Before I had ds I loved the school holidays-all that daytime telly, meeting friends for lunch and afternoon naps. I used to read a book a day and go to the library twice a week. Dh used to occasionally take half term week off as a 'surprise' at the last minute and then be a bit perplexed when I explained that if he'd given me some notice we could have done something fun. However if it was last minute he'd be at home on his own whilst I pottered about with my teacher friends.

Now I have ds who attends the same school as me-brilliant we have exactly The same holidays! That means I never. EVER get a day off to myself. Dh works shifts, and regularly works evenings and weekends which means he gets tonnes of off duty when ds and I are at school so gets loads of time to himself.

I dream about lazy days at home ALONE.

OreosAreTasty · 10/08/2016 17:48

Yanbu can you spare his feelings and take off more days than he's got? Ie he's got 3 holidays take 5, so you have time to yourself too?

Ememem84 · 10/08/2016 18:05

Absolutely do it. I'm off with Dh at the moment. I've been super stressed recently but powered through until holiday.

We've been off for three days now. I haven't had a moments peace. All I want is half a day on my own. Just to read/cry/sit still/be. But nope. Apparently we have to spend every waking minute together. I do love and super appreciate him really just don't think he gets how stressed I'm feeling

Original poster
Gallopingthundercunt · 10/08/2016 18:27

Sadly oreos he's just gaily informed me he has 9 days left Hmm

I do work nights so I suppose I could pretend to go to work, kip in the shed then arrive "home" at the usual time. Wave everyone off for the day (while yawning widely obviously) then skip off for a day to myself Wink

OP posts:
ConkersDontScareSpiders · 10/08/2016 18:44

When I was married and the girls were small every three months or so I used to work extra at weekends then take a day off in lieu in the week just to get a few hours to myself whilst the girls were at nursery and h was at work.sometimes I didn't totally tell h I was doing this as he would have been so disapproving. But God did I need those few hours to myself.

Ememem84 · 10/08/2016 20:44

I've emailed my boss and have booked sept 2 off. I have an appointment (actually do have an appointment) and have told Dh. He's suggested taking the day off with me. I've told him no as I'm not sure how long I'll be kept waiting. So it's just be a waste of his day off. Appt is at 830. Should be done by 10. And while day off for me.

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