AIBU to ask if member of hospital staff was rude?

[healingfood]

Was kept in hospital much longer than planned following major surgery. All staff were amazing except for one healthcare assistant who had previously been abrupt and terse.

So this HCA started nightshift on night I was kept in. When taking my blood pressure remarked that I was 'still there' and asked 'didn't i want to go home?' then walked away muttering that 'we make it too comfortable for patients…'. It was not done in a jokey manner. I was left feeling upset and like a burden on the hospital while already feeling down, scared and alone about being in hospital and the surgery/illness.

AIBU to think that this was rude and insensitive? Should I complain or let it go? I know it is not an easy job to do and that everyone has bad days.

Please mention it to someone. My Nana was on the receiving end of a comment like that which lead to her getting super distressed and discharging herself. It caused her, me, the staff and the NHS a shitload more trouble when she had to be readmitted a few days later as an emergency.

"Having a bad day" is not an excuse to be rude to people in vulnerable positions. I wouldn't have got away with being rude to a child when I worked in the school because I was having a shit day, and neither should I have. A HCP in a hospital is no different. In that kind of environment you have to suck up the shit days and not vent to patients.

With all hospitals under immense pressure for beds, you are only in hospital if you REALLY NEED to be in hospital, these days. And I'd have thought all staff would be well aware of this. I like DollsHouseTales suggestion of mentioning it to the staff nurse. I'm in no doubt that all staff deal regularly with patients who are irritating, but it's unprofessional to take it out on them or anyone else. OK if someone is rude and abusive then no one has to put up with that, but generally we are at our most vulnerable and generally bleugh when we are in hospital. Rudeness has no place.

A 'complaint sandwich' will not result in the person being disciplined. A calm complaint detailing the person's failings is the best thing for you, subsequent patients and the people who have to work alongside such an unprofessional person.

Thank you for all your responses, am overwhelmed as expected to be told I should be more understanding of them having a tough day!

I'm so sorry to hear from all of you who have had negative experiences too, some of them are shocking and much worse than what I endured! It really saddens me reading them. Also I had no idea it was so rife as generally I have had a very positive experience of the NHS.

Thank you for providing some much needed perspective you are all right this person will do this to others and had indeed been unpleasant earlier in the week. I will mention it and see what can be done.

That's ridiculous. Definitely complain! If they've said it to you I bet they've been to rude to other people too! I complained to PALS when I had issues with a nurse in A and E when I went in with my son who was a baby at the time (after being sent by doctor) and she told me I was a timewaster. We were back in an ambulance a few hours later when he had a convulsion. PALS told me they were going to retrain her and would talk to all the staff about talking to parents of young children

Please complain OP. Every patient has the right to be treated with care, dignity and respect.

That's dreadful. Patients are extremely vulnerable and ... ill. No one wants to be hospitalised.

I was a nurse for 26 yrs. Twelve yrs a sister. I would want to know.

I had a horrible experience when i had dd. I had pre eclampsia and my consultant told me i would be delivering my baby asap. The midwife told me i probably won't be delivering and i will be going home, blood pressure increased and i was admitted that night. Dd was born less than 24 hours later and i lost a lot of blood, was supposed to get a blood transfusion but i was told i over reacting the ward sister was horrendous, i was trying to breast feed and i couldn't get dd to latch on so i buzzed for help and i got shouted at because dd was starving and that i should just give her formula as im clearly not doing a good job. I gave up after a week and i wish i tried more. I was only 19 so they probably thought i was just another silly young mum i wish i spoke up more and stood up for myself.

Blimey!

I'm shocked at how many people have had such horrible and negative experiences of the health service - though a cockney friend told me that our service up here, in t'north, is MUCH better than in London.

I've been in a few times for surgical procedures and having babies and have had nothing but kindness and consideration from everybody (except two of the then receptionists at our local GP practice - they were cows).

Do complain, OP. It's not just that you will get it off your chest, but you may prevent someone even more vulnerable being subjected to her bullying. And I bet she doesn't try it on with people who are strong enough to stand up to her, or have families with them.

I am an HCA.

I would probably report that if I heard another HCA talk to someone the way she spoke to you.

It is not acceptable. I have had shit days and had to go into work like all of us do and I have never taken it out on a patient.

She sounds like a very rude woman.

I am also surprised that in her capacity as HCA she obviously knows far more than the doctors about who needs to be kept in and who doesn't.

She needs to start training doctors as she appears to have some special diagnostic skills that doctors only acquire after attending medical school for 7 years.