Please help me. I am at the airport but not sure I can actually get on the plane

[friendinwoe]

Full fight or flight panic mode.
Flown before but anxiety is Much worse
Tablets not helped
I am near enough to go home (which isn't helping) but have elderly parent and sn child with me so we would all have to go home.
I could have gone on the ferry but everyone else wanted to fly and its 'only a short time you will be fine' only I'm not.

Focus on what you will do at your destination.

I am terrified of flying too and was in this situation last year when I physically felt I could not get on the plane, so I know how scared you are and how truly terrifying it is.

The best thing I did was talk to the stewardess. I was trying not to sob when I boarded but was clearly crying, she asked what was wrong and I was honest. She offered to let me go speak to the pilots, helped me get seated and chatted me through all the different noises. When she had to go sit down for take off she told me to watch her and the crew and how calm they were, and she was right. They had a chat they looked relaxed. She was fantastic (and this was on easyjet, not some fancy airline!) And telling someone I was scared meant that in the end it was one of the most relaxing flights I've ever had. I felt like a right tit, mind, but I couldn't help it!

I echo pp advice about watching the crew and also setting times e.g. if I watch this film they'll only be x amount of time left. That can help a bit. Sometimes I find just putting my fingers in my ears, shutting my eyes and concentrating just on my breathing helps (fully concede that I look weird on planes!)

But please don't turn around. You'll be so gutted it you do. All the anxiety will be worth it for your family holiday. I really think you can do this :)

Hi all and thank you. I am flying in 25 minutes. Just waiting near gate absolutely terrified. I have a book, adult colouring etc.
I took antarax (I think its called) last night.

Well done you!! Let us know you're safely there!!!

Concentrate on the destination not the journey.

I hope you are all on the plane and are on your way.

I bet you will be so happy when you land and start the hols

I'm terrified of flying - ive been crying alone in Mumbai trying to change from two flights to one and all sorts

I take diazepam (given by the doctor for this reason) and try and zone out (I don't drink otherwise I would have a drink or two instead). Once I'm in I try and trick myself I'm on a train. Unfortunately my in laws are in India so I do the journey about once a year now.

Sorry, haven't read whole thread but am very similar. Can you go to a quiet room and listen to some music? I always bring a. new book/food I like with me on the plane. I have a disability and often airport "assistance" make things much worse by treating me with little dignity.

Ok I'm terrified of flying, and the fear makes me sick. I spent much of my last flight throwing up.

However, I have found one tactic that really helps:
Focus on the flight attendants. Really study them. They are people like me and you! Look, this lady has a wedding ring. She might have kids. This man looks bored, and is stifling a yawn.

Why would someone with a husband, kids, a whole life, risk flying multiple flights per day, several days a week if it was dangerous? They dont get paid much - look it up. Not enough to risk your life for.

The man who looks bored at work? How can he be bored if every flight is risking his life?

I have spoken to the flight attendants and asked them how many flights they have done that day. On a flight to Dublin the man answered five! And he still had to fly home later on.
I was in such a state on one flight that I was actually invited to meet the pilot. He was a nice, intelligent man who certainly looked as though he had no desire to die.

I hope this helps you (or someone else reading). It has saved my sanity before now.

How did it go OP?

Highly recommend hypno - as a doubter of everything short of scientifically proven I booked it when desperate and staring down the barrel of an impending flight. It is fabulous if you can reach the 'eye fluttery' hypno state which is like the wakened version of REM sleep. You can plant all sorts of alternative thought patterns when in that state and learn to get yourself into that state within a few seconds, genuinely.

I'm not perfect when flying yet, and I still like to sink a gin or two if I can, but no longer check the weather reports every hour for two weeks before I travel and I no longer dread holidays instead of longing for them. Best financial investment I ever made.

Hope you got there and are not too traumatised. Lots of love xxx

Thanks all.
I made it.
I won't pretend the flight was easy, the take off was particularly awful even others commented and I had two idiots beside me who saw I was frightened and started talking loudly about plane crashes
I am ashamed to say I was in tears half way.

Luckily on the other side we had a really lovely man who was as scared as me and he was lovely.

I used the concentrate on the hostess, do they look worried technique as well as music etc.
I am going to have a look at the tapping technique now i have time to read it.
No idea how I'm going to get back. This is the worst I have ever been. I have a week to figure it out. Maybe I will just stay here!!

Well done for getting through it! Sorry you had to sit next to some arseholes, though. What utter twats.

Don't be ashamed for crying, having no option but to sit and face your fear is really overwhelming. You probably aren't the first upset person the crew would have seen that day!

I hope you have a lovely week away, and try not to worry about the flight home too much! Hopefully coming home won't be as bad - you've not long flown so the processes and feelings will be quite fresh. I find if I haven't flown for a while it's so much worse because in my head everything I hate about flying has had time to become magnified and more intense than it is, if that makes sense.

Oh well done for doing it. I don't think the return will be as bad - my experience has been that the more I fly, the easier it gets to the extent that now my terror is more about missing the flight than the flight itself. I used to have to force myself to make that step into the aircraft. You'll be OK - and please don't let it spoil the holiday.

Well done! Don't be ashamed of crying. I'm scared too. I'm flying tomorrow. Two flights - one to gatwick then one to Pisa. Total flight time 3 hours.

i can do it. I've done it before. Dh will be with me. I will cry. I will get scared. But I get myself through it by knowin I've done it before and it's only 3 hours iyswim.

Are you anywhere lovely? Have a lovely holiday! X

My Dad once told me 'you've got more chance of being killed driving to the airport than in a plane crash' - that put it into perspective although I have been known to cry when there's turbulence. I was on a flight back from Australia and sobbed into my partner's lap while my two teenage boys looked the epitome of calm. Alcohol helped.

You made it.

I'm a terrible flyer, I won't even get up to go to the loo and I never take my belt off. We came back from a 5 hour flight a few weeks ago and I was busting for the loo towards the did but couldn't get up.

I focus on the Attendants and watch them, they're always calm and getting on with their job. I also listen to music and tap away to the beat , the faster the better.

Why was the take off awful if you don't mind me asking?

repeat over and over to yourself "the plane is designed for this"
"this is statistically the safest form of transport"

then have a G&T (it really does help!)
don't board the plane until near the end unless you have to.
as soon as you get on the plane start reading. try to distract yourself.
the take off is the worst bit by far.
it's always hardest when you haven't flown for a while, you should find the return flight easier.

OP, recently I had a really cookie person beside me when flying. She had some sort if talisman that she would kiss repeatedly on takeoff, landing. I became nervous if flying after that. It affected my holiday. On the way back, I told the air crew. They were super and I was much more relaxed coming back. I bought the BA book ' Flying with confidence'. - it has helped too. I'm under a lot of stress at the moment and I think that triggered my stress reaction. Flying is incredibly safe.

You can do this, deep breaths, visualise the end result, at your destination, unpacking your bags, feeling the sun on your face, your first glass of cool white wine, your child laughing with delight.....
You can do this......

Well done OP!!! Be proud of yourself!!!

DH works at Gatwick in security (where they have to be so thorough you wouldn't believe or they lose their jobs). That's just one airport of all those in the UK and many more all over the world.

Every single day this summer they've processed well over 40,000 people through security. He came home yesterday saying it had at last been a fraction quieter as they'd had 39,000. Every single one of those people made it to their destination. This is multiplied by all those other airports - Heathrow is bigger and sends through more, then you have all those others in the uk alone. All of those thousands upon thousands made it too. Just keep telling yourself the statistics when you get there. In the meantime, put it out of your mind and enjoy your holiday.

There are a million people in the air at any time. It's actually more dangerous to stay at home.

By at home, I mean in the home.

Find something physical to do with your anxiety. When I was younger I really found focusing on writing helped me. Even though I looked like a mad woman, sometimes I just ended up scribbling, other times I wrote lots of poetry. Coloring can be very relaxing, or doodling.

Lots of slow breaths. Deep breaths can sometimes make you hyperventilate. You want to take slow breaths and concentrate on your breathing. I found it helped to imagine breathing in positive feelings and breathing out negative feelings. I just picture little plus signs coming into my body and minus signs coming out, lol. It helps me to cope.

I was really nervous for my first flight and ended up taking a Xanax to help, the other thing that helped me was DH was next to me explaining everything that was going to happen, what it would sound like, feel like, etc. I found that really helped.

Well done op! Make sure you praise yourself for that- it's how to improve. If you don't process it properly then it won't help you. Think it all through, how you took control and DID IT. Write it all down and read through it.

You decided to do all the steps- book tickets, pack, go to the airport, check in, security, to the gate, on the plane. All those things are achievements and need/deserve recognition. All the way along you could have backed out but you didn't! Well done!