To not let my 9 yo hold my newborn? :(.

[freakedoutlady]

Gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the early hours of Saturday. My poor 9 year old has a coldsore. Googled it and read that they can be fatal for newborns. Everything is going so well apart from this. Waiting for first miswife visit but if anyone can give me some advice or experience of this? DD is being really understanding about it and baby is buying her a present. She's sitting with allot and is happy. Have zovirex to get rid. So very worried abd feeling bad for her though.

I had a coldsore when my son was born. It was incredibly hard not to kiss him for the first week or two, and I think it slowed down my bonding with him. I have tons of sympathy for you and your DD - it's rubbish.

Thanks so much for all your advice ladies, particularly about the Compeed. I'm going to send DP out to get some in a few minutes. Doesn't seem like a very common situation :(. At least DD is being very grown up about it. GP said to bring him in at any sign of illness. We let her have a quick hold and touch at the hospital after handwashing and a quick touch yesterday but that's it. Hope it's enough. DS (11) with no coldsore sneezed all of baby today too. Could possibly arrange for her and DS to stay with a family member like the other poster did but GP didn't suggest that and it does seem really sad. Do you think I should try and arrange that or just have no holding, and lots of hand washing?

Don't send her away, it could cause real resentment and upset for her! The competed patches and good hygiene should work. Let her hold baby while sat next to you for a minute after she's washed her hands thoroughly.
A op asked about mums having cold sores - I had a massive one on my lip when I gave birth to DS 16 years ago. Nobody mentioned a thing about it to me while in hospital and we certainly weren't separated!

I think I'd have no holding for the first week or so, however long til the sore heals.

It's probably best to just be straight forward about why but it did cross my mind you could say only Mum and Dad are to hold baby for the first week as he's so little - just in case that idea helps at all. It might be easier for DD if DS isn't holding either? It'll only be for around a week or so after all?

Best wishes to you for your first few days with your new DS

nature I get horrendous cold sores and had one right after DD birth. My GP told me that the antibodies passed from mum to baby during pregnancy and breastfeeding would mean DD almost certainly wouldn't get my infection. But I scrupulously washed hands and avoided kissing her for nearly 2 weeks She's 18 mos now and shows no signs of infection.

OP I have a sister 10 years younger than me. I didn't even see her till she was about 3 days old as women stayed in hospital for much longer then, and siblings weren't allowed to visit. We had a great relationship throughout our childhoods, that developed through her infancy and toddlerhood and preschool years. Do what you need for your baby's sake - your kids have years ahead of them to get to know one another.

I'd make a card for 9 year old from the baby saying can't wait for pesky cold sore to be gone to give you the biggest cuddle ever ... or words to that effect. It'll cheer her up and give her something to look forward to.

It's hard but I'd not let your dd hold the baby either. It's really easy to touch your face and mouth without realising as an adult never mind a 9 year old.

Explain it sensitively, which it sounds you have, and when the cold sore has been completely healed for a few days, just to be extra safe, and let your dd have as many cuddles as she wants. She sounds like a lovey girl understanding why she can't hold her new brother.
I understand how hard it is, dsd came out in chicken pox the day I had my first dc so she could only look through the window. It feels horrible to say to a child that they can't go near their new sibling but it's just not worth the risk.

I think it's ridiculous how the dangers of cold sores for babies isn't widely known, along with the danger of group b strep but that's another thread. I'll never forget reading an article about a mum who had a cold sore when she gave birth, she kissed her newborn and passed the virus on and the baby sadly died before even being brought home from the hospital. I was pregnant with dc2 and was hyper vigilant in checking that no one had a cold sore around the baby, with dc1 I didn't know the danger so it didn't even cross my mind to check.

Hooserice - that's a lovely idea. Baby is buying her a present and saying he can't wait for a kiss. Will do that too.

Have said DS can't hold her too and am going to try and fend off visitors to save her feelings.

Thanks for reassuring me that I shouldn't get DD and DS to stay with a friend.

I'm so worried. I can't quantify what risk this is to him.

I wouldn't risk it either. Some cream a Dan those patches and it should be gone by next week.

Well we've just been sent back in because of jaundice so I've now got that to worry about too :(

Sorry to hear that OP, hope everything settles down soon for you

I use Cymex cream. You can put it on every hour and it heals up really quickly.

I had coldsores both times after I had DCs, giving birth seemed to trigger it. I didn't know the huge risk at the time and sure I forgot and kissed my baby. I was bloody lucky as I was making a point of not kissing them. I couldn't not hold them though and luckily they were fine. I'd be wary of letting someone else hold them though, as you never know. When DD was born, my cousin came down (a teenager) with my aunt and she had a cold. I was reluctant to let her hold the baby but was pressured into it by my nan and aunt. Sure enough DD ended up with a horrible cold. I wish I had stuck to my judgement. After a couple of family members said I should have stuck to my guns about it, wish they has spoken up at the time!

Jaundice very common in small babies. All the more reason to take extra precautions.