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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this isn't really my problem and I shouldn't be paying for it?

95 replies

EvangelineP · 06/08/2016 18:18

We have gone abroad for 2 weeks holiday and have left one of the TAs from my DCs school to house sit/dog sit. We agreed on £30 per day. The professional companies charge £35 - £40 per day but are bonded/insured etc. She doesn't need to walk the dog as friends are doing it. It's really just to keep our old dog company really as he wouldn't cope with being left overnight. This morning she texted me to say she had a leak in her flat and has had to go back and forth to home every day to let the builders in and wants to be reimbursed for her travel an extra £5 per day. While I do feel bad that she has had a leak in her flat I don't really see why I should pay for her travel. I'm fairly sure I will pay it to not be awkward but I'm not happy about it. AIBU?

OP posts:

Wispygypsy · 06/08/2016 22:46

This has really irritated me. How friendly are you with the people walking your dog? Can you contact them and explain how worried you are? Maybe they'll offer to help instead when they find out how unreasonable she is being?

ohtheholidays · 06/08/2016 22:47

Text her back "don't worry I'll see you right when I get home" and then when you get back bung her an extra £20.

That way your not commiting to giving her what she's asked for but she'll think she's getting what she asked for

KoalaDownUnder · 06/08/2016 22:49

She has got to be joking. I'm so pissed off in your behalf!

I agree with texting back questions re: this amazingly expensive 'leak'.

KoalaDownUnder · 06/08/2016 22:50

*on

HicDraconis · 06/08/2016 23:02

She's taking the piss and hoping you'll pay up to avoid embarrassment - which you seem to suggest might work in your OP. For comparison, we were recently away for a week and someone lived in our house for the whole week, walking / feeding / looking after our dogs and feeding the chickens (for very few eggs as they've stopped laying over winter) and we paid him $0 per day. He had a holiday in our house while we had a holiday on the beach. Dogs were well cared for, house wasn't left empty and he had a great week - win win all round.

I wouldn't be paying any more than your agreed price. Her leak is not your problem and surely she can claim additional expenses on her insurance?

ChishandFips33 · 06/08/2016 23:22

I'd say no. Whilst she's at her house she's not at yours doing what you've agreed to pay her for so it evens out

Or reply cryptically that you'll 'recalculate the bill on your return' - add the £5 per day for her travel and deduct £5-10 for loss of time with your dog

ChocolateFuzz · 07/08/2016 01:33

Has she been there for a few days already? If so is she charging you for those?

HenryIX · 07/08/2016 07:48

I do understand why everyone is suggesting you negotiate on how long the leak will take to fix.
Don't ' bung her an extra £20' like ohtheholidays suggested.
She is essentially asking for time off from the job you have employed her to do. So you should be paying her less, not more!

mortgagefreesoon5 · 07/08/2016 08:48

Op I am so angry on yur behalf. You sound like a good person, unfortunately some people take advantage of good persons. Even though you don't like confrontation, this is one of the times you need to stick up for yourself. You have good advice in pp.
I'd say msg her sthg on the lines of "sorry about your leaky troubles, we ll sort out payment for your services when I come back from my holiday, pls ensure I get pics of my dog and I hope my home is kept clean and tidy"
When you come back, pay her 30 pounds pd. as afgreed7 ( she should think herself very lucky!) and explain her that you are not to pay for her trips, it is not your problem!

sonjadog · 07/08/2016 10:16

How many more days are you away? Could your friends who are walking the dog step in and take him overnight if she isn´t doing her job? Or is there anyone else you could ask?

Original poster

EvangelineP · 07/08/2016 11:18

We don't come back for another 10 days. I haven't even told DH because I don't want to upset him - he adores the dog and the dog chose him as his person (he's a rescue, the dog not the husband!). The friends can't take the dog to their house as they both work. Their dog can last much longer without needing to be let out than our old man. They also live in a tiny flat and our dog is huge and doesn't negotiate stairs well anymore. Thank you for all the support - I feel like such a chicken! Any help with what exactly to say on our return is greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

LikeIGiveAFrock · 07/08/2016 11:50

I'd just tell her when I got back that I hadn't budgeted for her travel time as that wasn't discussed . Don't pay it , harsh but it's not really your problem

Hippywannabe · 07/08/2016 11:54

As an aside, does the Head know she is doing that? I think our Head would think it crosses the line between school and friends and be disapproving .

HugItOut · 07/08/2016 12:01

I'd just tell that the leak and the costs associated with the leak are not your responsibility. Personally I wouldn't even bother trying to explain I'd just tell her that you are happy to pay what you had originally agreed. Keep it very short and don't apologise or get into conversation.

We are happy to pay what we agreed

repeat as required

(And stop being such a wuss )

Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 07/08/2016 12:04

She's taking the piss. Don't let her ffs!! Maddenings text is good. No way it takes 2 weeks to fix call her on it or she'll see you as a soft touch - what else will she think she can charge you for? Bet you get a "your dog damaged my clothes" one next!!

BoGrainger · 07/08/2016 12:09

While I agree that it sounds unreasonable I can't believe the vitriol on here. Cunt, bitch, she can fuck off... and now, the HT disapproving. WTF? Why doesn't she just kill herself and do you all a favour.

ohtheholidays · 07/08/2016 12:10

I suggested saying the OP will see her right when she gets back because the OP is worried about her Dog!

I'd be worried as well if it was my Dog,we've got 3 Dogs and I'd be catching the first flight back if I thought that someone that was looking after them may bugger off and leave them on they're own over them being a chancer trying to get some extra money,so saying you will see them right and then only giving them an extra £20 would seem the much easier option than having to cut the holiday short or spending the rest of the holiday worrying about the poor Dog being left on his own.

That way it's a win win,the Dog should continue to be well looked after because the women looking after him thinks she's getting the extra money she's asked for,the OP gets to enjoy the rest of her holiday and doesn't pay out a small fortune on her return home ontop of what she'd already agreed to pay!

RichardBucket · 07/08/2016 12:17

Ugh, this sucks. I can understand why the OP wants to keep things friendly until she gets back, for the dog's sake.

OP, there must be websites you can hire housesitters from? Ones that are vetted, with insurance, etc. I'd see if you can sort out one for the remainder of the holiday and then tell the piss-taking TA she can attend to the leak full time.

AnUtterIdiot · 07/08/2016 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Footle · 07/08/2016 12:20

She works at your child's school so you will be seeing each other regularly. She's not going to abandon your dog - in any case she has to hand it over to your friends every day. Just tell her you will pay what you agreed.

eddielizzard · 07/08/2016 12:22

she's got you over a barrel hasn't she? she can up her price and not much you can do because she's in situ and you're not there.

i wouldn't respond to the text. i'd say 'let's discuss it when i get back'.

i'd probably go with a compromise and pay her extra for a few days, but absolutely not all. ask her why she needs the extra travel on saturdays and sundays, but wait until you speak to her face to face.

SleepFreeZone · 07/08/2016 12:26

I don't understand how some people are just so ballsy when it comes to extracting money from people. I was always crap at it and was usually the one being taken advantage of.

I think you need to either let your husband deal with it if he will actually tell her to Fuck Off and Do One, which is what needs to be said in this situation. However if you are the only one who can deal with it then I'd want to sit down with her and find out exactly what happened when you were away to get the measure of her story. If you think she really has got herself in a state and is now out of pocket then agree to meet her half way financially as a goodwill gesture.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 07/08/2016 12:29

"I understand. We'll sort it out when we get back." Just that, then enjoy your holiday. And then tell her exactly what you understand when you return...

Boogers · 07/08/2016 12:34

£410 for just keeping a dog company, not even walking it, and she wants an extra £70 to sort her problem out, effectively leaving the dog on its own and defeating the point of her being there in the first place? Nope! You are not being unreasonable, and I'm in the wrong job.

Jessbow · 07/08/2016 12:35

Ask which day he's coming. He'll only need one ay surely? Your average plumber comes out there and then & fixes the leak, or might just come back the next day with parts- so 2 day max- and it might be worth bunging her £10 for your peace of mind.

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