When I was young I was very close to my cousins, even though they're quite a lot older than me. We're still close, but distance and busy lives mean we don't see as much of each other as we'd like.
A few years ago, one cousin and I were both in the shit financially. We agreed that it was ridiculous for me to be buying four birthday and Christmas presents each year (her, her husband, two kids). We agreed I'd buy just for the children and she'd buy me something from then.
This year, as the kids are now older, she's suggested we stop altogether. I'm fine with that; however, it's her daughter's 21st soon, and they're having a big party. Not getting a present would feel weird - I've watched her grow up and this is essentially my last chance to get her something nice before she gets married (assuming she does).
The thing I'm wondering is, will her younger brother feel left out? His birthday was a few weeks ago and, as per our arrangement, I didn't get him a present. He's 15, so well old enough to understand 'special birthdays', but as it's the first time I haven't got anything, would it be a bit mean?
I could get him a token gift, but will my cousin then feel obliged to get me something and be thinking 'bloody hell, it's starting all over again?'