Working from home nightmare

[peppapigporkchops]

So, my husband works from home 9-6 monday to friday. Thats fine. its great actually.

Ive recently graduated and am in the process of going freelance as a designer.

I might get outed for this as its so specific but Ive got to the point where I dont really care tbh.

The issues I have are

1. Other peoples children regularly knocking on the front door to ask for my kids to come out to play (My kids arent allowed off the property/garden for safety issues DTGs are 5 and DS is 7)

I don't mid the above so much but when its every day after school and they're knocking on after 5-6 o clock when we as a family sit down to tea, have chill time/family time and bedtime routine, it kind've pisses me off.

Having said that, when my kids are at my MILs, they still knock on, repeatedly (are they home yet?) even if I tell them they're not in, and no they wont be coming out to play once they're home as it will be family time/bath and bed time.

This issue really grates on me, because the little time I do get to work on my freelancing stuff is taken up with kids knocking on the door constantly. I could not answer the door, but its loud, my house isnt that big, and it could be an adult that needs a car moving, or the postman or whatever.

2. Why is it that if people know you work from home, they think your hours are flexible/optional/not real work (delete as appropriate)

I take my work quite seriously. I'm driven and ambitious. I want that for my children (I want them to grow up to be strong, independent and ambitious adults)

I've managed a total of 13 hours solid work this week after being let down on promised babysitting and someone else begging for childcare because they had an emergency situation. Fine. Id planned to carry on working in the evening after they'd come back to collect their kids but they were 2 hours later than they said so by the time Id gotten home, it was basically bed time.

am I being unreasonable or just being a spoilt brat?!

to put the record straight though, DH and MIL are amazing and really supportive of my work.

It just feels like some people think that if you have more than one child, you have no right to be ambitious at all.

If you're that driven and ambitious, don't say yes to babysitting for other people. Nobody forced you to do it, you chose to.
As for young children spoiling your work by knocking on your door, try some adulting and be firm with them. If they still knock, tell the parents to make them stop.

You are complaining about things that are easily fixed if only you bothered your arse to do so.

HeddaLettuce - there is a line between being driven and ambitious and being an absolute bitch about it and losing friends. The latter I do not want to do because I value my friends, but also value my work.

You can't have it both ways. If you value your friends and want to babysit t help them, you can't then complain that they are preventing you from working and moan about it on here.
Well you can, but that would be being a bitch about it.

I had this the other day when I was working from home because it was easier to sort out the drop offs/pick ups to DS's sports location.

However I have to remind myself that it's great that DS lives in a neighbourhood where he has so many friends to play outside with, far better than being on his own all the time ( only child).

Just put a note on your door when you don't want to be disturbed. The good thing about children is that you can be very direct and they won't be upset.

Have you spoken to the parents of the children who knock on your door, asking them to ensure their children stop disturbing you at work?

HeddaLettuce - I can when I already told them I was working and know how difficult it is atm to get time to work!!

Thats beside the point. Either do it and do it graciously or don't do it at all. Doing a friend a favour and then bitching behind their backs about it is just dickish.
Either you were working or you weren't, and you chose not to and to babysit instead. Your choice.

If you're working from home then you need very clear boundaries.

Whoever is working ie. NOT looking after children - is left to work

Whoever is looking after children answers the door/runs the house

If you're both trying to work and look after young children don't bother, it's not efficient working like this. Take it in turns.

If the children aren't there put a note on the door 'children not in, DO NOT knock - Working'.

You have irritations rather than problems. I don't answer the door unless I want to.

Why would an adult knock because they want a car moving? Don't leave your car in a place that causes a problem.
Kids always keep knocking because their concept of time is not the same as yours. We have all probably had that problem.

With the children you just need to be polite, but very firm.

'Thank you for calling for DC, that's very kind. They're not allowed to play outside though. Please don't knock again because I'm trying to do my work and it's distracting me'.

If they knock again...

'My DC aren't allowed to play outside. Don't knock again, please' .

You're two adults, they're a bunch of bored kids....you should be able to deal with it.

People thinking that working from home is flexible is an unavoidable problem I think....probably because working from home often is flexible (at least more flexible than working in an office). Again you just need to be firm, 'So sorry, I can't have DC tomorrow, I'm working'. Then if you want to be kind...'I could help you out on

Rub dog shit all over your front door for a couple of weeks.

Problem solved.

Very easily solved OP:

1. small camera on front door - choose who you answer to and when, ignore otherwise - a buzzer with an on/off switch is good.
2. work phone / home phone - turn off home phone and personal mobile, have work mobile - only those who need it as emergency have the number aside from work.
3. strict diary - block off hours of work in advance together with childcare - stick to it.

You are your boss, what would you say to another employee messing about on the job like this? Remember the MN rule applying to the following complete sentence!

No.

As an added extra the freelance threads on here are great, one tip is work out how much you need to earn minimum and how much you would like to earn then make it happen - gives you a goal to evaluate your time. Know to the month, day and hour how valuable your time is.

Depending on your business, when friends want babysitting you can tell them exactly how much your time willl cost, charge them and you will not be financially worse off so won't begrudge them. You will never get free babysitting from them again though...

Sounds like you need to be much more direct with these kids' parents. Polite but firm. Ask them to stop their stop their kids from knocking.

It does sound as though it's family time being encroached upon at 5-6pm not your work time. If you want to work in the evening don't offer to babysit, or be very, very clear that the DC must be collected by a certain time. Then don't do it again if they don't. Sounds like boundaries need to be stated and enforced.

"peppapig can you babysit"

"I can't I'm afraid, I'm working"

Done.

Ok there are two things here:

Kids knocking.

Make a laminated sign with your children's picture on it saying "We're not home". Any child that knocks when the sign is on the door - first knock explain sign nicely tell them never to knock when it it up, second knock - tell them much less nicely. (Stern tone and face)

Second issue: babysitting other people's kids while working

Say No. Very clearly and without apologies.

This isn't about being a 'good friend' they wouldn't ask you if you were working from an office would they? They don't ask your DH do they?

They are taking advantage. This is clearly shown by their two hours lateness.

You have a responsibility to your clients. You have to put on your big girl pants about this.

People won't respect the importance of your work unless you do.

I work from home regularly and I wouldn't agree to do childcare when working, not even for my best friend or my sister. Not even in an emergency. And they would never ask.

They wouldn't ask because asking effectively means you take a day off, lose a day's pay. It's their child, they should take the time off.

I sometimes give up on working at home when there are too many disturbances and set up camp in my local Caffe Nero. It gets me out of the house, too, as I canget cabin fever when I'm working at home.

I do agree with your very last sentence. When parents, ok when mothers, have children, they're expected to prioritise family friendly hours and decent pay over advancement.

During the summer holidays you and dh really need to agree a schedule. Set days or half days where one is exclusively working and the other is exclusively dealing with the kids and the home. Even if that is into the evening.

Kids knocking at 5 or 6 is standard so just either say no every time or have set days- eg Monday and Friday the kids can play out and rest of the week no.

I agree with all the suggestions and have tried some/will try others...laminated sign on the door genius!! i love laminating things!!

off to do some work now because the house is finally quiet as my super amazing DH has taken our little angels to the beach!!

I also worked from home and empathise. I ended up working early in the morning and late at night. Telephone calls during the day from people just wanting to chat and helping others with childcare because of emergencies. My car being outside let people know I was home. Would speaking to the parents make any difference?

I work from home and sometimes DW does her admin from home too.

If you are working from home then during working hours you have to be a complete and utter selfish arsehole. No answering the door, no childcare, no ANYTHING, AT ALL!

If the kids keep knocking then get arsey and tell them where to go, if people beg for childcare just ask yourself 'right, if I were in an office would I go to my boss and use a half day annual leave up for this?' if the answer is no.... then you guessed it, no childcare!

Sorry to say it but you've got to grow a spine and learn to say no!

You need BOSE noise cancelling headphones and to ignore the door.

Dh works from home he uses these headphones and doesn't hear or answer doors or phones.

I work from home too so I do sympathisers. One thing that took me a while to have the confidence to do but has made the world of difference is to be strict with my time. Work time is work time. During work time I only answer the door if I'm expecting deliveries or have a pre-arranged guest. Most of my communication is via email so I let calls go to voicemail.

People will think that if you're around then you can help them out, do things with them etc. Just say no. You won't lose friends by setting boundaries, you'll only lose opportunists seeking to take advantage and you can do without them. Friends will understand. If you don't take your work time seriously you can't expect anybody else to