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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring baby in carseat to evening cinema showing?

138 replies

Loafingaround · 05/08/2016 08:45

Our local cinema is a fab arty type one that has sofas/food bought to you during film etc. They allow babies under 1 in as long as you keep them quiet. Pretty certain DD would stay fast asleep in carseat for the duration as she likes noise to sleep and is fast asleep by then usually (8pm). Moment she so much as whimpered Id have her out on the boob (under blanket). But, can well imagine we would get some serious evils from other people on the way into the film if not shooting glances at us throughout...what do you think? Shell out £30 for babysitter or take advantage of the cinemas policy?

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 05/08/2016 10:19

I would because a baby under 1 is a very different kettle of fish to a toddler. Same thing with restaurants/weddings etc - babes in arms don't eat or drink and can usually be quieted with a boob or a nap.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/08/2016 10:24

babes in arms don't eat or drink and can usually be quieted with a boob or a nap

They can also scream unconsolably for hours for no reason, and stink out entire rooms with unexpected poonamis Grin

ElectronicDischarge · 05/08/2016 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tubbyinthehottub · 05/08/2016 10:46

Are you sure babies are allowed to the evening performances? To be honest if I was on a rare adult night out to an arty cinema I probably wouldn't be too impressed to find a baby there. What if it's busy? Will there be enough room for the car seat of it's full? I would find even a
quick squawk distracting and what if she did a stinky poo?

Berthatydfil · 05/08/2016 10:56

The car seat is a no no for me it's a trip hazard particularly in the dim lighting same or worse for a push chair. A sling would be much better. I think you would need to be prepared to leave if baby started to make any noise.
However this may all be a moot point if you are planning on seeing anything over a 12 certificate

aurynne · 05/08/2016 11:05

I had a parent like you sitting behind our party of 6 during an incredibly loud movie at 10:30 pm. Her baby cried, fidgeted and even threw his toy at us. The mum did not even make an attempt to soothe him, she probably was used to the noise and could tune it out... lucky her! In the end she had to put up with quite an earful from me. And I complained to the cinema's management. We got free tickets for our next movie, which thankfully was baby-free.

Parents who "of course would take the baby out as soon as it fidgeted" are like smokers who "always ask people of they mind the smoke before lighting up". Always there in a forum, but non-existent in reality.

Amelie10 · 05/08/2016 11:15

Yabu, and I think it would be very selfish to everyone else to do this. It's not necessary that a baby must be taken to an evening, adult filming. She might whimper and by the time you gather her up and decide to go out, it's a lot of faffing and distracting to others. Babysitter seems like a good idea.

Artandco · 05/08/2016 11:57

A cinema with low rating isn't just for adults though is it. Those saying they rarely go so expect it childfree, that's not anyone else's problem is it? A cinema doesn't state it's childfree.

It's the same as those who go out for dinner at 8pm and moan children are eating. What do you expect? You child might be asleep at 4pm but it's isn't law and many others will be out eating late into the night.

Notso · 05/08/2016 12:12

...food brought to you during the film etc.

Isn't that really annoying and disturbing? What food is it?

DollyBarton · 05/08/2016 12:15

Don't ask this kind of question here! It leads to Armageddon and totally extreme responses.

YANBU to judge yourself what is best in terms of bringing your baby to nap in the car seat beside you at the cinema.

FoggyBottom · 05/08/2016 12:28

But YABU not to include in your judgement the effect that your behaviour has on the rest of the cinema audience.

Rinceoir · 05/08/2016 12:36

I brought my DD to cinema when she was very small (before she got mobile). In a sling, let her lie on my lap, accessible clothing, boobs at the ready! She practically never cried as a small baby though- my DH actually took a photo of her crying aged 8weeks as it was the first time she cried for more than a few seconds (we know how lucky we were!).

Nanny0gg · 05/08/2016 13:26

Is there nowhere to go where people (however attentive) don't inflict their children on others?
At least at night you used to be able to ensure you could be in an adult environment. Sadly that no longer appears to be the case. Pubs, restaurants, cinemas...

As an aside, the last time I went to the cinema the sound was absolutely deafening. I was worried for the children, let alone a baby. I don't think even ear-defenders would have helped enough.

Artandco · 05/08/2016 13:37

Nanny - maybe an old peoples home? Those places you mention have never been child free. I remember eating out late in summer with parents, and my father tells stories of going to fancy dinners and dances with his parents ( in the 1950s). What a miserable world if certain ages are banned for places just because

Struggler83 · 05/08/2016 13:39

God, people are so judgey. Aurynne YABU to talk about a "parent like you" like that. The woman you're talking about made no attempt to soothe her baby- the OP has said she will do the opposite. You have no reason or evidence to think otherwise, other than your terrible attitude and giant judgey pants.

OP, I would be really annoyed in the cinema if someone left their baby to cry or fuss through a film. But it sounds like you intend not to let that happen, so I say give it a go, as long as you're prepared to lose your money if you need to leave (which you would, if your baby wouldn't soothe pretty quickly).

I find it much more annoying in the cinema when people chat (even in whispers), rustle sweets, play with phones etc.

I'm expecting my first baby In October and I'm mostly really looking forward to it but I have to say I'm really nervous about experiencing the judgey, cats bum face, anti-baby attitude that I see so often on these boards.

Cosmo111 · 05/08/2016 13:48

People aren't being judgemental as I said it my PP I have a baby he's 4month, I also dont get the opportunity to go out very often, I wouldn't consider bringing my baby along to the pictures it's not fair on everyone else who pay to go. The cinemas aren't cheap people save money make their own childcare arrangements to go out to the cinema often paying someone else, there's a time and a place. Babys are extremely unpredictable they can cry for about anything not to be fed.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/08/2016 13:50

I wouldn't. In fact I didn't, because it's unfair and antisocial to

I sat at home for 10 years watching DVDs while child-wrangling and often dreamt of the day I could indulge my cinema-love again Smile

Now that I'm able to enjoy the cinema again. It's disappointing when other people are following a completely different code of cinema etiquette by which noise and disruption during a film are fine.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/08/2016 13:52

unfair and anti social to risk disturbing others.^

Katkincake · 05/08/2016 13:54

I wouldn't do it, I'd be stressing all the time and not enjoy the film. Only showings I took DS to as a baby were daytime Everyman baby screenings, even then some of the films were loud (I remember trying to cover his ears during a loud bit in interstellar). It did mean that I got to see a lot more films than DH during my maternity leave, he managed to take a day off and come to one - henceforth he was jealous, given the coffee and cake they gave out during the film. We now reserve cinema trips for when grandparents are visiting (a few times a year) or suck up the extra £30 in babysitting if it's something we're desparate to see.

Always knew it was our regular cinema trips pre- DS that would take the greatest hit, feels hard to justify paying a sitter for something you can watch at home in a few months time.

Just5minswithDacre · 05/08/2016 13:54

What Cosmo said. It's not judgemental. We've all been new parents with a DVD. We just want to enjoy films we pay to see.

Dontyoulovecalpol · 05/08/2016 13:57

Of course! No problem. Most people don't mind tiny Babies. Obviously if she makes a noise you feed or leave. No biggie. Have fun

5moreminutes · 05/08/2016 13:58

Art nah - lots of children in old people's homes during the day, lots of old people like children, and are - well - related to them :o

I agree with you though - the places Nanny mentions have never been child free zones.

You want a child free zone, you go on an explicitly child free holiday to one of those creepy looking all adult resorts or to a (probably less creepy but maybe a bit self important) child free hotel or restaurant... or to a 15 rated film I guess :o

I took newborn DC3 to kids films as a newborn and small baby a few times (with young DC1 & 2) and he slept and fed as a newborn and watched the film colours on the screen a bit and and fed at about 5 months - he never made a peep. Then from about 6 months to 2.5 years it would not have worked and I had to take the older kids when DH was home and leave him with DH, and then we took him with us again from age 3.

Non mobile babies are fine as long as you book an aisle seat and are ready and prepared to leave if the baby fusses and isn't immediately soothed.

Onehellofaride · 05/08/2016 14:04

I took DD when she was a baby and she was asleep for the full film. No one cared that I had her with me. You know your baby. DS on the other hand wouldn't have stayed quiet.

Nanny0gg · 05/08/2016 14:07

and my father tells stories of going to fancy dinners and dances with his parents ( in the 1950s).

So did I. From the age of 12.

And behaviour was different then. It really was. Children in the 50s/60s didn't talk all the way through a film (in the evening - children's times obviously different). But it was rare to go at night. They sat still at a table in the restaurant and ate nicely. But early evening, not 9/10pm unless on holiday. They didn't run around. And we weren't allowed in pubs. We sat in the car with a lemonade and crisps with the blue twist of salt.

And I still think a cinema is too loud.

Flossflossy · 05/08/2016 14:11

I went to the cinema recently to watch a 15 rated horror/thriller. We were sat in front of a couple who had their (approximately) 1yr old son with them. We'd only been sitting down 5 mins and it shrieked a couple of times. Not a busy cinema so we moved seats. The child only yelled a couple of times throughout the adverts. He was pretty quiet during the first 10 mins of the movie.... Until a part where a massive loud bang happened in the film. It was so loud it made me jump and the child started screaming and crying. (I don't blame the child he was scared!)

After about 30 seconds and they could not soothe him and people started ssshhhing them from all round the cinema. Woman took him out. Came back 5 mins later. Child quite agitated still and shrieking and screaming a bit. Cue more ssshhhing. Man took son out. Back 5 mins later. This repeated about 8 times in an hour. Woman then decided to walk the child up and down across the front of the screen for a bit which may have quietened the child but now we had to watch her pacing back and forth! Very distracting! Few members of the audience started shouting excuse me etc at her. Child starts screaming once again and so 1 hour 10 mins in to the movie the entire family left.
They wasted their money and didn't enjoy the film. I couldn't enjoy the film. The rest of the audience couldn't enjoy the film.
If the child had sat quietly or slept for the movie it wouldn't have bothered me. But he didn't. The film was far too loud for him.