My dad died this evening. He has been ill and in hospital for a while but took a rapid downturn in Tuesday, that afternoon we were given test results confirming he was terminal.
Dad has two siblings he doesn't get on with (plus another who is wonderful, and two who have passed away already). Relations with his brother A are ok if strained and infrequent but sister B has not spoken to him for about 4 years, after she and her daughter said some truly horrid things about Dad and Mum (mum died 2 years ago).
I called A yesterday to tell him the diagnosis and give him the chance to visit. I did not call B, I have no contact info as we are NC and assumed A would tell her.
Dad went very downhill overnight and the hospital called my sister and I in this morning, we have been there all day. Dad was very agitated and distressed and experiencing confusion, DS and I and our partners had to take turns with him as even all of us together was too much.
A&B turned up at lunchtime and Dad was very bad, we asked them not to go in as it would upset him. A became very belligerent, shouting at DS and accusing us of blocking them out of spite. Dads nurse came out and confirmed dad was not fit for visitors. We explained he had been written up for midozalam to reduce agitation and once administered he might be calmer and we would contact them if he was ok for visitors then.
He did settle and we contacted A and told him Dad could tolerate visitors. Several hours passed and sadly Dad couldn't hang on and passed away. They arrived at the hospital about 40 minutes after his death.
DS and I were in the room with Dads remains. Her DH was in the corridor, intercepted them and broke the news. A said he did not want to see Dads remains. B however came charging onto the ward with A's wife, burst into the room without knocking and proceeded to throw herself at DS to hug and kiss her -DS was on the phone informing family. She then came at me, I put my hand up and firmly said 'NO' as I did not want to be touched, stood up and walked her backwards out of the room.
Apparently B then returned to the corridor where she told A that I had 'pushed her' and was making quite a scene, DS's husband then asked them to leave.
This isn't normal, is it? You don't barge into rooms containing a dead man and his grieving children? You don't force affection on them when you haven't spoken to them for 4 years after quite vile behaviour to their very recently deceased dad? I'm not being precious by saying this is disgusting?
I am now steeling myself for more drama - these people are narcissistic and self absorbed and love playing the victim. I wish there was a way of keeping them from his funeral but I don't think I legally can.
How am I related to people who think this is an ok way to behave??