To think this is massively entitled?

[Herzie29]

A friend of a friends is expecting her first DC in a few months time and has sent round details of a JohnLewis gift list. Apparently it includes items costing several hundred pounds... Which she is expecting all of her friends to contribute to... Is this now a 'thing'?

In my experience I have never come across anything like it! If nothing else is it not bad luck to give gifts before a baby arrives safely? In my circle friends tend to give small presents like a cute outfit or a small teddy once the baby arrives. I know people whose families have helped them out. grandparents buying the travel system etc but surely this is different to a 150 quid changing bag?

I can understand the idea of asking anyone who asks what to get to consider vouchers from X-place to go toward y-bigthing. My friends co tributed toward a tumble dryer when I had my twins - best gift I've ever had (November babies, third floor flat, drying area had a theft problem), but to expect individual people to buy pricey things is ridiculous.

I don't mind the baby shower idea, I'm going to buy a present so I dont mind the parents knowing I've bought pre-baby arriving, but there then shouldn't be an expectation of more when the baby arrives.

If nothing else is it not bad luck to give gifts before a baby arrives safely?
Of course it's not! victim blaming nonsense!

I had a wedding gift list.
People think they're grabby but actually I had several older relatives complain that I hadn't done one yet (wasn't planning to) and how much easier it would be for them if I had one. So I got one. Which probably made me the subject of an outraged MN thread

Yeah, the American tradition works in America (although there are Mumzillas here, I'm sure) but doesn't seem to have travelled well.

I don't mind people having a list - it's practical, but it should always be optional, and only if asked for, not foisted on everyone.

I didn't get many gifts until after DS arrived for the simple fact that my in laws live abroad so only came to see baby after he was born. My dad bought cot and travel system and my DSiS bought a few bits. I'd just buy a couple of bits of further on clothing (I got quite a bit going up to 1 year size) and one thing which is nice was a selection of lovely new mum toiletries which made me feel a bit more myself during those first few hectic weeks.

The whole list thing sounds grabby and disregards people's financial capabilities.

Only on MN could superstition = victim blaming .

The whole concept of sending a pregnancy gift list out is alien to me. I've never seen one. It's all very well giving suggestions if somebody asks you what you would like/need - but actually sending out a list to folk who haven't asked & who might not even have wanted to buy you a gift in the first place? Exceedingly rude & entitled.

I'd buy a gift of your choosing, to meet your budget - be that Primark or Harrods. A real friend would be equally grateful for either.

I had nothing before DD was born. DH was dispatched to Mothercare with a list. Had a bit of a testing time during pregnancy and was too scared t buy anything.

I'm not comfortable with the idea of 'gift lists'. It's lovely to receive a gift, of course, but none is ever expected.

I've got friends and family who live in tiny 1 bed flats where space is critical and have done this. I think it's sensible in situations like that as you haven't got storage space for gifts you can't keep. Doesn't bother me at all.

Indicating what you'd find useful: fine. Issuing a gift list like a wedding list in order to get maximum value from your friends: I'd become an ex friend on the spot.

I know mine are aged around 20 now, but I bought little gender neutral things every few weeks through pregnancy. I worked in a huge office predominately women who handed down advice and equipment and on the day I left had a little party in the office with small useful presents like baby toiletries in a basket, weaning sets, baby grows, blankets etc

Grandparents bought the pram and car seat.

Seriously, what else you some people need or expect?