To think sister shouldn't have had a go at me

[LostInStereo]

My sister and I are really close, both in our late thirties.

She a SAHM with two kids and two step kids, so four all together, all 9 and over.

I have 2DC, 8 & 12, my family and I have just come back from a holiday abroad, I go back to work on Monday so was just bitching to sister about how bloody expensive playscheme are, 40 quid a day around here and how it sucked that both my kids would spend the majority of their holiday in different schemes, which they enjoy so it really isn't that bad but it's not the same as going out together as a family.

She then out of the blue had a go at me, at how I should prioritise and sacrifice for my kids, how I shouldn't dump them in schemes/camps for days on end with people they barely knew etc

I hung up on her and now I'm pretty pissed.

Sounds like she snapped. Maybe you complain about it more than you realise and she's fed up of hearing it?

So was she offering to have them for you instead? Ignore. Could she have seen it as a stealth boast? Holiday/expensive play schemes etc and so lashed out through jealousy?

Maybe she was having a crappy day and couldn't be bothered to sympathise or just say 'uhuh, hmmmmm, oh dear...' if you were having a good old moan.

Maybe she is fed up being stuck at home with 4 kids, and the dynamics of having step kids and their mum? Or had been having a fight with her husband about her working (or not).

I find if people are usually cool and they blow up then it's down to bad news, feeling sick or having had a row. I try not to take it to heart. Life's too short!

Think you should give her a break. Being at home with four kids is v hard and she may love the opportunity to be child free for a while.....you're in different situations.

Think you should ring and see if she's ok. Apologise for moaning

Can she afford holidays abroad in the summer?
Maybe she felt you were trying to have your cake and eat it too.

Hold on Yum. Her sister snaps at her and op is the one who should be apologising. Have I missed something.
I think it's a case of the grass is greener.
SAHM and WM are probably just as envious as each other.

Ahh, my sister & have our quarrels....but we love each other to bits. Leave it a few hours so both of you cool off, then give her a text, rather than call. She's probably struggling with the school holidays.

I have four kids aged 4 to 14. I also work from home and rarely get to go anywhere (I joked this morning that my "holiday" this year was going to the butcher's last week and I was only half joking!). There are days when I would rip the head off of anyone who complained about the cost of childcare, because I'd pay with my own severed limbs if that choice was available to me.

She's just having a tough time I reckon.

I'm guessing you work to pay the bills and can afford holidays abroad, like lots of us. Do you have a good job, career? Or is it more a need to pay the bills etc?

Has she had a holiday abroad? Does she feel that the upside to working (holidays) has a downside (kids in daycare all holidays) and feels that you have signed up to that so should stop moaning?

Maybe she'd like to be in your shoes. When I worked outside the home, work was a break from the endless drudgery.

I went to play schemes when I was a kids and then helped run them when older. The kids have a GREAT time.

Maybe she wishes she could go on holiday or afford playschemes? Can she afford a holiday?

All I know is I wish I was pretty pissed right now, bit early though..

Ilive-yes that's what I think.

Op was moaning about having to pay for summer camp for her DC so she could work, sounds like her sister was miffed at her moaning.

If you reverse it OP, how would you feel if your sister was moaning about being at home with the kids in the holidays?

I know snapping at you wasn't ideal and probably a bit hurtful but I think I can sort of see where she is coming from. I am currently a SAHP to my two girls (13 (AN) and 18 months). I gave up my job in March so my husband could take a promotion (change in hours meant our two jobs no longer worked well together for childcare - and we couldn't get cc for nights/wkends).

Anyway, I digress, I would give anything to be working again and when he whinges about it his job I find it difficult to bite my tongue (don't manage it every time). He wanted to the promotion, as you want to work (I am assuming?) and maybe she would like to work but can't afford to. Her costs would be double what you are paying if she has four children.

In all honesty, I'd feel a bit wound up listening to someone who's just been able to have a holiday abroad complaining about the rest of the holidays. Maybe you came across as a little ungrateful for what you have? X

I probably did come across as annoying, but we always moan to each other, and even when it gets annoying, I just nod my head and agree in the right places. It wasn't the snapping that annoyed me, it was her insinuating that by staying at home she's made a bigger sacrifice & that by working I'm being selfish as my DC are "stuck" in playscheme, which they enjoy.

I like my job, it's a career although unlikely to move up for a long while as the early child years had a big impact on it, but I do enjoy it and I can't ever do the SAHP thing, it would drive me mental, she however loves it.

I probably did catch her on a bad day.