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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty?

16 replies

TheWoredBorrier · 03/08/2016 23:58

Shortly to be moving into a shared house with a&b (friends before I met them) and c (who I know). We were looking for a 4 bed but difficult as all had different budgets and b doesn't live nearby so couldn't go to viewings (even though they have been really helpful in other ways).

We found a dream house soon after with four different sized rooms - ranging from 17' by 11' down to 11' by 7'. We priced them accordingly, from £480 to £660. I am taking one of the larger ones, which was out of b's budget. However b wanted the second largest and not the smallest. We were unable to show her room sizes at the time as floor plans not available but she knew it was small and that we had priced accordingly.

I feel bad that b doesn't know about sizes and feel like they're not getting a good deal. Is there anything I can do to make it up to them?! I'm worried they're in for a shock when they see the room (it is really nice and modern but small - next room up is def bigger and more expensive albeit still in their budget). A bit of me feels like we should have carried on the search until everyone was satisfied.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 03/08/2016 23:59

Sorry that should say b wanted the second smallest and not the smallest. But this had already been earmarked by b's friend (fair enough) but I feel uneasy about it all still

OP posts:
AmeliasMumBucks · 04/08/2016 00:00

Are you sharing the lease or all signing leases for the rooms independently? If the first, if they want to see the rooms before they commit you should let them, if not it's their choice and not your problem

Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 00:02

Sharing lease. They weren't able to go to house viewings as live in a different continent unfortunately! I feel bad though. They said themselves they felt a bit forced into having the smallest room; I responded saying I didn't want them to feel that way and happy to carry on the search (I genuinely was) but it was decided that we should just stick to it.

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19lottie82 · 04/08/2016 00:12

Unfortunately with situations like this it's whoever gets dibs on the rooms first, and if you're disadvantaged because you don't live in the country then, I'm afraid that's life!

What did they expect the others to do, all stand back and wait for her to arrive and make her choice before selecting their rooms.

I'm afraid your friend is being unrealistic and a bit precious.

And personally I don't think 7'x11'is that small? Not big, but it's hardly a box room.

Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 00:15

Thanks - I'm not sure, I guess I had just hoped we would find a completely perfect house with four rooms of varying sizes that were perfect! Grin That is unrealistic though. It did make it harder that b had the smallest budget too but it it just awkward as she wants and can afford the next biggest room up... But then again she is paying a good price I guess.

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Lilacpink40 · 04/08/2016 00:19

Can you change rooms every 6-9 months?

Sometimes pay less, smaller room, sometimes pay more, larger room.

19lottie82 · 04/08/2016 00:19

No, you were never going to get a 4 bed house with four equally sizes rooms. (Well, very unlikely anyway!) with so many people sharing, there is going to be a squabble for the rooms, but unfortunately, with B being out of the country, she is ultimately going to get last dibs.

Try not to stress about it too much. It's really not your problem, and you definitely shouldn't be feeling guilty.

Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 00:20

Lilacpink - I would offer but b can't afford my room, only the next room up from hers. I don't really feel like it's my place to suggest this but would def consider!

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19lottie82 · 04/08/2016 00:21

lilac that sounds like a total pain in the arse. No way would I be up for that if I lived in a flat share.

As I said the smallest room is hardly tiny. And someone is always going to get the smallest room, that's life.

19lottie82 · 04/08/2016 00:22

With four people sharing, I'd say the odds of at least one person leaving within a year, are very high. B will get first dibs on a lager room whenever another of the housemates moves on, then her room can be rented to a newbie.

Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 00:23

We are signing a year's contract although I guess that includes sub-letting? Not sure actually

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HeddaGarbled · 04/08/2016 00:30

I did a flat share as a student where 3 of us swapped rooms each term so that we each got a term in the best and worst rooms. We did all pay the same though.

I think you need to leave this to a & b to sort out between them as they both want the same room and have been friends before you and c came on the scene. Also, you've suggested that you carry on looking but have been over-ruled (by a, I presume). You've done what you can. If b isn't happy, she needs to tell a, not you.

Rainuntilseptember · 04/08/2016 00:42

What about the communal space? How much time will he/she need to spend in their own room? You could offer a desk or bookshelf in the shared part.
Tbh the room sounds fine though.

RubbleBubble00 · 04/08/2016 00:43

Is she getting value for money with smallest room
i.e. if she were to rent a room in another house of comparable size would it cost the same amount?

Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 01:11

I think so, yes - it would cost the same amount or be more expensive imo. Definitely not cheaper.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheWoredBorrier · 04/08/2016 13:07

Ok so consensus is that this is a fair deal?

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