Don't want to see bitchy coworkers again

[papillon0306]

Hello,

First post in mumsnet though I've been reading it for ages, learned a lot from everyone about everything: you have walked my through my pregnancy, made my style & make-up better and helped me lose weight!

Long story short (don't want to bore everyone out of their minds): have quit job around a month ago (crap job, shitload of responsibility and crap money) with what I thought they were nice colleagues, to go to a much better job, much closer to home, much more money. Few of them have invited me as my "leaving party" to a fancy restaurant next week. However, since I've left the job they've been quite mean/cold to me over Facebook and have heard some gossip around about me from them whom I've thought they're my friends. I do not want to go as I think it will be quite a humiliating experience and also I do not have any money to spare on that...

Tbh I'll never probably see them again soon at least and I'm not sure what to say as to get rid of this quick and efficient. What would you do? Would you go?

Blow them out with a made up night out with your lovely new work colleagues

papillon No, never saw them again thank god!

....and she's 22. She started off being the secretary...Ups!!! And...worked...sucked...whatever, her way up in less than a year....

You sound like quite the bitch yourself

@derxa- shitstorm how??? Did they contact you or what?

Bohemond my thoughts exactly!

OP I suggest that if you want to move on and forget about this, then you do so. Shouting about women who must have "sucked" something to get anywhere or about why "women can be such bitches"

Will only get people irritated. Funny post for a first post. Interested in other people's experiences too?

I would send the message pp suggested about your new job being so amazing etc that you just don't have the time. That way you get a dig in about the fact they all work at that boring old place and your place is way more exciting! Even better if you can hint at some sort of really important but super fun work thing with senior management that night

Why would she want to "hint about some really important work thing" though?

This is where I honestly can't handle other people at times.

Just get on with your life. Move on.

I think just a quick comment like "Wow, haven't heard this much gossip about myself since I was 12! Sorry, I won't be able to make it. Best of luck, everyone." Then block, delete etc.

delete from Facebook, or very least unfollow them
and email the nicest one and say I am so sorry, I can no longer make the dinner- thanks for the thought

within 2 minutes your problem is solved

and Papillon, I once attended a work night out from a job I had left. someone was fucking vile to me and I left in years, never again! CUT

What a really horrible thread.

I think you sound as bad as them tbh. Just move on.

OP, you sound like one of those people who constantly insists they hate drama but then relishes in it.

Delete them, don't go and maybe examine your own attitude too..

Gastric virus the night of the event. Leave them in the lurch and then make a quick and speedy recovery the following day.

Agree with Bohemond.

I might have sounded like a bitch, that wasn't my intention, I am not a bitch. However, that woman has really pissed me off for the last year or so ..constantly, everyday, being on my back.

No, I don't like drama, this was more like a funny 'this happened to me too'

Have texted them said something important came up and I won't be able to attend.No replies lol

I am wondering what they've actually said about you and how you know about it ?

And how is someone cold on Facebook? Because they don't like your posts? I have someone ask me that before, I was like Wtf!,

I wouldn't go but have to say that you're not coming across very well OP, you sound about 12 still. Good luck with the new job though.

You're not presenting yourself in the best light op, probably best to delete your former colleagues from social media and try and have a better experience in your new job, not accusing colleagues of sucking their way to the top would be a good start.

something about the way this is written makes me suspect it is a journalist fishing.

I didn't go to my own leaving party once, I lied and said i had a new night out with my new work mates to get to know them - I actually sat at home with a takeaway loving the fact Id left a shitty job!

I found out from someone I bumped into that id missed the opportunity to collect my Leaving collection money, this was dolcis, so pretty lot of staff back then id estimate around 50+ and the grand total of my collection money was £18 in vouchers (for dolcis I might add) and a bow of roses!!

Glad you've text them to say your not going, if anyone does reply say that your new workmates have planned a night out to get to know each other, really rub it in!

Baring me too.

Yes, poster asking lots of questions?????. Hmmm.

To be fair to OP, it was me who made the crack about 'sucking her way to the top' - OP hadn't suggested this was the case prior to my remark. I just read the phrase and rather stupidly made a joke about it. It probably was rather offensive, in hindsight, so I apologise. But the OP has been rather bullied by her ex-coworkers.

It seems odd that they've been openly cold on FB, yet still expect you to go. Are you sure they don't want you to decline just so they can say 'What a snooty cow' or similar, while painting themselves as the lovely girls who had their very kind plans for a nice leaving do thrown in their faces?

Many years back I organised a leaving do for a colleague and felt obliged to invite our boss - despite the fact that it was because of her that my friend was leaving. We knew she knew this and hoped she'd have the sense to spot and unvitation when she saw one. But no, either through utter lack of self-awareness or sheer bloody-mindedness, she not only came, but did her best to dominate the conversation all night. When another girl left two months later (for the same reason) we made sure hers was planned in secret!