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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Its my OH's fault for being assaulted

45 replies

Natsku · 03/08/2016 06:37

I'm really pissed off that my OH is being told its his own fault that he got hit (breaking his jaw and badly spraining his wrist from falling down from the force of the punch) because "he shouldn't have gone to a bar" (the bar isn't even known for violence) and "shouldn't have got involved" when he saw two women being grabbed by a man and screaming for him to get off them. No one else was doing anything (very loud live music in the bar, possibly no one else heard the screams, he was right by them so he heard) but apparently he shouldn't have pulled the man away and told him to stop.

Its the bar staff blaming him and his own fucking dad. Meanwhile he has to go to hospital tomorrow for surgery on his jaw, hasn't been able to eat anything but liquids since Saturday and can't work for weeks (and its still two weeks before he's eligible for sick pay as he only joined his Union just less than a year ago)

I can understand that his dad is angry and upset because the two of them have their own business so now all the work falls on his dad but AIBU in thinking he needs to apologise to my OH for blaming him and stop being a cunt?!

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 03/08/2016 07:40

Ignore pearly, she/he/it is a GF or sounds like they have a piece of Lego stuck up their bum.

Sorry to hear about your DH. He's clearly a good man.

pearlylum · 03/08/2016 07:41

Did your OH call the police or make a subsequent report?

OnionKnight · 03/08/2016 07:42

Pearly has a history of being a goady fucker, ignore her.

Pearlman · 03/08/2016 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Natsku · 03/08/2016 07:49

Yes he called the police and yes he made a crime report, that's what people do when they're assaulted.

Expect it'll take ages before it goes to Court or anything though, things seem to move slowly here, I'm still waiting on a case from a year ago.

OP posts:
Champagneformyrealfriends · 03/08/2016 07:49

Your husband did the right thing. I sincerely hope that if somebody attacked me in a bar that a person like him would come to my aid.
Ignore the GF-some people like to be controversial and are probably the type who'd stand by and ignore another human being attacked.

RosieSW · 03/08/2016 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pseudonym99 · 03/08/2016 07:51

What has being in a union got to do with receiving sick pay?

PageStillNotFound404 · 03/08/2016 08:00

Pseudonym the OP has already said they're not in the UK. Sick pay entitlement varies from country to country and in some places, some workers only qualify for certain benefits if they're union members.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 03/08/2016 08:15

I'm still waiting on a case from a year ago.

Oh Christ, don't say that!

Pearlylum will accuse you of being a professional hoodlum in a minute. Grin

SilverDragonfly1 · 03/08/2016 08:21

Your husband is amazing Flowers It's a horrible thing to have happened but you must be so proud. Astonishing that his dad wouldn't be! The bar staff I can understand as they are probably covering their backs in case they get blamed for not noticing and acting.

This is the aggressor's fault, no one else's. I sincerely hope he is in serious trouble now.

Ignore idiots here and irl, especially lazy dad!

MammouthTask · 03/08/2016 08:33

Natsku Yor Dh was fantastic. Please tell him that and to forget the comments from his dad and whatever.

The people at the bar, Pearly and the like and the reason why women ca be raped in a train wo anyone moving a finger. They shoud all be ashamed of themselves.

Of course, the added issue is that the Police themselves say that you shoudn't get involved and to ring them instead Hmm.
Yep that will protect you but it's not going to protect whoever is getting beaten up/raped etc...

Original poster
Natsku · 03/08/2016 09:44

Hah the other case isn't to do with OH! Its to do with DD getting grabbed by a drunk man (my town sounds worse than it is!)

He would get sick pay from the union fund otherwise its basic sick pay which won't even be enough to cover rent. Will probably have to go to the welfare office for this month or borrow from his dad.

I am very proud of him silver!

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/08/2016 11:46

pearlylum Wed 03-Aug-16 07:11:19
"I still don't understand why he needed pulling away- unless he was threatening?"

Perhaps because his friend was better placed to see the potential for trouble from the other man? I have had this in a crowded nightclub, being bumped continuously by a dancer behind me (other person's fault) - a friend pulled me out the way and swapped places with me because HE could see that the other person was about to get aggro about it as I wasn't giving ground. I couldn't see it (obviously) because they were behind me and might not have even recognised the danger potential, but my friend did.

Natsku - your DH is indeed a hero and I'm very sorry that he got bashed for it - hope the police are taking the assault more seriously than some other people appear to be!

JacquesHammer · 03/08/2016 11:48

Natsku - your husband is a STAR.

I was punched on a night out. I hadn't been drinking. What happened was I tripped and bumped into someone spilling his pint. Before I could even finish the "oh my god I'm so sorry can I buy you another" he punched me. He then used my hair to bash my face into a fruit machine. He was high as a kite on drugs.

Two very, VERY kind young men stopped him hitting me and took me to the police station. Everyone else just stood and watched as a massive guy beat me up.

JacquesHammer · 03/08/2016 11:48

Natsku - your husband is a STAR.

I was punched on a night out. I hadn't been drinking. What happened was I tripped and bumped into someone spilling his pint. Before I could even finish the "oh my god I'm so sorry can I buy you another" he punched me. He then used my hair to bash my face into a fruit machine. He was high as a kite on drugs.

Two very, VERY kind young men stopped him hitting me and took me to the police station. Everyone else just stood and watched as a massive guy beat me up.

YelloDraw · 03/08/2016 11:49

What's that supposed to mean Pearlymum? He didn't start a fight, he attempted to help someone. That's pretty attractive to me actually.

Agreed! He didn't go bloody looking for a fight did he, he was trying to stop someone else getting hurt.

Poor guy :-( Hope he recovers well.

YelloDraw · 03/08/2016 11:51

JacquesHammer OMG that is terrible, thank goodness for those two guys and shame on everyone else for standing by

ArmySal · 03/08/2016 11:56

Pearlylum, excellent example of the 'goady fucker'.

Well done to your OH.

Original poster
Natsku · 03/08/2016 12:21

Oh no jaques I don't understand how people can just stand by and watch someone get attacked. Glad there were two good people there to help you.

OP posts:
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