to hate the term 'ex-pat'?

[manicinsomniac]

I know this is a trivial first world gripe. I'm just making it anyway

I cannot stand the word. Why do (generally) white, (usually) affluent Brits get to be ex-pats while other people looking for a (presumably) better life elsewhere get stuck with the (now seen negatively) word 'immigrant'.

To me it just seems like British people who move abroad somehow think they're better or more worthy of their move than other people who do it.

I realise the word has historical context but that no longer applies.

AIBU to think that ex-pats should just be called immigrants like everyone else? Immigration isn't a bad thing. Requiring a different word sort of makes it seem like it is.

On the 'only white people get to be expats' thing, I have several Indian, Pakistani & black British or American teaching colleagues working abroad with me who definitely see themselves as expats for the same reasons that I do (I'm white).

There might well be a perceived connection with affluence (relative to much of local population) or professional status, but not with race.

BAME as Black, Asian and minority ethnic people

That's how Wikipedia defined it, fwiw.

I can see how if one moved to a place with a radically different culture/language/customs to live amongst fellow nationals while working on a short-term contract it would be hard to integrate and v easy and comfortable just to mingle with who/what one knows. Nothing wrong with that as such.
I do think it as to do with status/job/income etc more than race tbh.

There are loads of Indians who refer to themselves as ex pats I believe - as I said up thread I no longer bother with ex pat forums or meet ups etc (I did a b when we first moved) but when I did there were most certainly a large number of Indians moving in those circles.

In this blog linked to the Wall Street Journal a trailing spouse turned WSJ journalist from India talks about Being an Indian Expat in Germany and writes:

"Six years ago I made my first journey abroad. While the rest of my Indian friends were moving to the U.S., United Arab Emirates, U.K., Australia or Southeast Asia, I took the road less travelled by my compatriots and moved to Germany.

Compared with the more than two million Indians living in the U.S., the three million in the Middle East, and roughly 750,000 in the U.K. and 520,000 in Canada, Germany’s Indian immigrant community is small, just 76,000 in 2014. I came here as an expat spouse following my Indian husband and have since lived and worked here. But should I call myself an expat or an immigrant? If I were in the U.S., I would be an immigrant, despite my high-skilled status, but in Singapore and UAE I would be considered an expat, although laborers from India in both these countries are called migrant workers."

I think somebody up thread mentioned the deciding factor being whether you move on an expatriate employment contract though - that probably is the most concrete definition of being an ex pat as opposed to a migrant worker or immigrant or any of the other types of migrant through.

No I've definitely heard lots of friends get very offended by the poc term. I wouldn't chuck it around whilst walking down Coldharbour Lane in Brixton that's for sure.

No I've definitely heard lots of friends get very offended by the poc term.

Bummy what terminology are you suggesting in its place then?

I think you're definitely an ex-pat if you are posted overseas by a company in your home country for a fixed term.
You're likely an expat if you send your kids to an international or English speaking school in a non English speaking country.
You're an expat if you're a "trailing spouse" with no intention of applying for any other visa status at any point.

Retired Brits on the costa del sol I guess are expats as they view themselves as on an extended holiday.

To me the word expat implies someone who has chosen to live/work in another country, meeting the necessary requirements to do so, and able to support themselves. It also implies that it's not usually a permanent thing. Also agree it depends on who is talking about it. If I as a Brit refer to a friend who is an expat in Greece or Spain etc then the the listener knows I mean a fellow Brit. I don't see what the big deal is ...

Yes, expat definitely has connotations of temporariness, international school fees paid, hanging out with other expats, not speaking local language very well, if at all, etc.

I've lived in another European country for over 20 years now and am unlikely to return permanently to UK. Married to a local, kids bilingual and dual nationality, speak local language fluently myself, have little to do with English-speaking community, etc.

Am certainly not an expat and never have been; happy to be an immigrant but locals often insist I am not one ; in no way feel I'm better or more worthy of my move than other people who do it. I didn't come in search of a "better life" though, it's just the way things turned out, and not really surprising for someone who did a languages degree.

That you don't group everyone that isn't white in the same group. It gives the impression that white is better.

I'm just repeating what a LOT of people feel. If you what to tell them they've no right to be feeling that way be my guest.

I don't see anything wrong with the term trailing spouse. It's not my favourite term but I can't see how its derogatory.

Motheroffour "trailing spouse" is just another short hand term widely understood - if you "ban" the term you have to write a few sentences explaining that your husband is on an ex pat contract and you made the decision to put your career in the UK on hold to go abroad with him for a few years, that you cannot work in the country you are posted to for whatever reason, and are therefore an "accidental housewife/ sahm" for the duration of your time abroad. If you say "trailing spouse" the whole "I'm in this position because I made the decision to come along with my husband" idea is encapsulated in the phrase.

If you "ban" both "ex pat" and "trailing spouse" you need even more words to explain ...

Of course you can just say you are a migrant, but that leaves so much unsaid. Sometimes it might be all you need to say, but If you want (or for some reason need) to explain the ins and outs of your specific situation the short hand terms come in useful!

Motheroffourdragons - not derogatory at all. It's what it is. To me it implies quite a great sacrifice but also some degree of temporaryness.
I've two friends in this situation -one in the us one Canada.
In the other hand I have a friend who moved to the us with her us citizen husband and child and intends to stay and has jumped through the immigration hoops to enable herself to get a job and new career.