To try to make my 9 year old do some house work / clean her own room?

[Slowprogress]

So my dd has recently turned 9, she is so lazy and won't do anything I ask! I am a single parent, I work and I like my home to be clean. Dd thinks it is acceptable to leave her dirty underware on the floor in the living room in the mornings when she gets changed, never Tidy her bedroom and never wash up.

I have decided if I don't change this now it will never change and she will be an unclean person forever. So I have started making her wash up and I expect her to tidy her own room.

I asked her to put away her clean clothes which she decided to throw on the floor, when I saw that I told her to move them, later in the day I took her washing basket to put on a wash and found all the clean clothes I had washed and asked her to put away in the dirty washing basket! I feel like she is taking the actual p1ss out of me! I have tired to explain that it costs me time and money to wash and dry her clothes and I fold them, all she has to do is put them away and hang some up.

I feel like it's ruining the holidays as I don't want to take her anywhere nice or buy her nice things if she is being untidy, unclean and more importantly disrespectful towards me.

So aibu? Also any tips how to stop my child from being so lazy and start helping? As I've had enough of it!

The snot on the sofa is a whole different thing. That is repulsive. TV would be immediately off and I would ask, "how can you make this right? Right now." No whinging, moaning or nagging. Just tell her to make it right. Even my DD of 5 yo would be able to make an attempt at cleaning that.

We've also got a ladder on the fridge. Top is a reward, bottom is a consequence. Both chosen by DD. Up for good work, down for something she knows isn't on (snot on the sofa, for example). Works well.

What motivates her?

My dd (6), puts her washing away, folds her pjs and straightens her bed as she wants to be "grown up" and does this when I am doing the same in my room.

Ds is money motivated... But can also be guilted into it..."I would have more time to spend with you if I wasn't being Cinderella to everyone". Thou I do put away his clothes as he would crumple them, I don't mind...he prefers to dust the skirting

My oldest dd is 6, nearly 7. She tidies her bedroom every night, puts plates on the side after meals, and puts folded clothes away.

I think 9 is old enough to help out with a few chores to help you out.

Nip it in the bud now, before she turns into a teenager.

My dm made us do chores early on to help her when she was working. Best thing she ever did.

Definitely stop the pocket money! 9 is perfectly old enough to do some chores. Its hard work but you've got to set rules and be consistent (I feel your pain and it's easier to tell someone else where they're going wrong)