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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think you dont stipulate how much people put in for present, work related?

24 replies

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 09:51

A new colleague recently asked how much for birthday,
we buy for birthdays,
there are about 20 or less

another colleague said £2.
At the same time I said, How ever much you can afford, one or two.

thing is there were a tonne of birthdays just recently when i was particularly skint, one got nothing, one got £1,
but on hearing that remark, I gave the next person £1.50

the colleague who said £2 may be heard me saying I was skint and said about putting money aside for these eventualities.
and another colleague mentioned how she had been out of pocket by assuming everyone put in £2.

WIBU

OP posts:
MephistoMarley · 01/08/2016 09:53

Out of pocket for £2?
Yanbu in principle, you put in what you have in your wallet/what you can spare/an amount that reflects how much you like the person in question. The envelopes always end up full of 50s and 20s so I assume some people put in less than £1 and that's fine.

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 09:54

yes, mephisto,
believe it or not, others are also finding it hard to believe by the sound of things,
at the beginning of the week if i only have a fiver til pay day, that is ALL I have

OP posts:
IceRoadDucker · 01/08/2016 09:55

YANBU. £40 for a work birthday present is a lot!

19lottie82 · 01/08/2016 09:55

Every birthday? I wouldn't bother putting in for every birthday that seems a bit extreme. For big birthdays, births and weddings, I'd put in £5.

No one should expect anything for a collection.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 01/08/2016 09:56

I'd never stipulate, put in what you want to. Same with leaving presents, presents for teachers at the end of the year, or any other gift.

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 09:56

perhaps 20 people was an exaggeration
um, let me count; may be 15 but not everyone is always available.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 01/08/2016 09:58

£2 seems reasonable to me, and has always been the norm for collections wherever I've worked, so over the year you'll pay out £40, but you get it back on your own birthday.

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 10:01

and if you can't spare £2 that week?

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Skitttles · 01/08/2016 10:02

I hate the whole work collection thing, it's always so awkward. A new girl recently had to shell out £2 each for 3 different people's leaving do's/birthdays in one week that she'd never even met but the collection person didn't give her much of a choice.

ChicRock · 01/08/2016 10:08

and if you can't spare £2 that week?

Well then you put in whatever you can spare, or you decide you don't actually like the person/don't want to contribute, and you don't put anything in.

YouSay · 01/08/2016 10:10

I never understand buying group presents for colleagues birthdays.

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 10:10

i did that, i decided one person I didnt particularly like, and she did actually prove me correct a bit later Grin

OP posts:
ChicRock · 01/08/2016 10:16

As long as you don't expect everyone to contribute towards your own birthday then it's all good.

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 10:16

there is absolutely no expectation. i am not bothered.

OP posts:
Laiste · 01/08/2016 10:25

When you work in an environment where there is a big staff who all know each other (a primary school, in my case, for example) collections for everybody's birthdays, engagements, weddings, births, xmas, retirement, leaving, re-joining, get well presents, ect gets too much.

I hated them! I do remember some occasions when it was expected to put in a fiver each. I just couldn't afford it. YANBU OP.

mrsfuzzy · 01/08/2016 10:26

this can be so awkward, why do these things get started ? Confused

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 01/08/2016 10:30

We've never really done birthdays, just leaving gifts and there is a pot available should you choose to donate. No pressure, and that's how it should be.

AMR123456 · 01/08/2016 10:37

I've worked in same place for years & always payed into collections. When I got married a few years ago I didn't get so much as a card!! Nevermind a collection or present.
Now I'm not one of those give to receive types but that really pissed me off. If it's someone's birthday/wedding/ new baby etc if I'm close to that person I will buy them something independently & steer clear of putting into collections.

MackerelOfFact · 01/08/2016 10:44

I just put in whatever I have in my purse, whether that's 40p or a fiver. I don't feel guilty putting lower amounts in - it must even out, as most of our office collections raise about the same.

Zuccarelli · 01/08/2016 10:50

We don't do birthdays where I work! We have had a collection for a birth though recently. We had an envelope to put money in and if you contribute then you put your name on the envelope but not the amount. Some people put a few quid, others a lot less I would imagine. I work in care so we're all on a low wage. We wouldn't ever stipulate an amount to put in.

MammouthTask · 01/08/2016 10:57

I'm Hmm at the ones who think that 'they are out of pocket' if you didn't pay the £2.
Surely you just put whatever you feel is appropriate?
And if you don't have the £2, you just don't.

As for 'putting money aside in advance', well yes for your child, your DP etc... For work colleagues, nope.

Monkendrunky · 01/08/2016 12:20

My workplace recently bought a present then "billed" the staff Hmm
You put what you've got and buy a present after its all collected!

jay55 · 01/08/2016 12:23

I've never heard of putting in for work birthdays unless it's a 50th or 60th. Sounds barmy.
Do you have to give for weddings, births and leaving on top of that?

NoahVale · 01/08/2016 12:28

Billing the staff is pretty crap Monken

and leaving yes, probably.

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