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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re neighbourhood kids in garden?

45 replies

Peskykidsinmygarden · 31/07/2016 23:57

First post in AIBU...

Next door but one have a large number (5+) kids, including 3 boys.

We live in a cul de sac, and there's a grassy roundabout in the middle. During the summer the boys are out in the road with a football a lot of the time, and as our front garden has a low (4-foot-ish) wall in front, it's favoured as a goal.

Now I don't have a problem with them outside the front, but they regularly kick the ball into our front garden or into our window at the front. This year I've made a real effort to get the front garden looking nice and they keep trampling my flower beds, and every time they kick the ball into the window it makes us jump and the dogs go ballistic (which makes me feel even worse as next door have small kids and this is frequently in the evening when I expect they're trying to do bedtime).

Tonight has been particularly bad - I caught them jumping over the wall into the flower bed at 10.30pm, in desperation parked the car in front of the wall and was met by a barrage of abuse and threats to damage it Angry.

In order to not drip feed - we've lived here for a couple of years. I've tried asking them politely and they ignore me. There are other houses in the street with similar walls, but they say they're not allowed to play in front of them. If I speak to their parents it improves for a short while. They also think it's funny to shout stupid insults over the fence when I'm gardening, which I ignore. I get on ok with the girls, we chat over the fence occasionally.

They're not bad kids, just bored I think. AIBU to want them to stay out of my garden and leave me in peace? And if I'm not BU, any advice for improving the situation?

OP posts:
panegyricS1 · 01/08/2016 08:03

I think that you need to talk to the parents today about what happened last night. Be very firm. Point out that other neighbours have banned them because they're a nuisance, and that you've tried to be polite to them but it hasn't worked.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 01/08/2016 08:04

The other option is to approach the council (they are pretty approachable) and ask to have a sign banning ball games on that area, it gives you an official basis for objecting.

GnomeDePlume · 01/08/2016 08:19

A slightly longer term solution would be to include some nice prickly plants into your front garden design: defensive plants

happypoobum · 01/08/2016 08:25

This thread has reminded me how fucking awful it was living in a cul de sac. Never again.

YANBU. I am wondering what it is that the other neighbours did/said that the kids have taken seriously? They are saying they aren't allowed to play in front of other houses, but are ignoring you. I wonder if your other neighbours were more forceful?

I doubt they will knock for the ball back. I would probably park my car in front of the wall and get one of those "Smile, you're on CCTV" posters on the front door along with a dummy camera.

Discobabe · 01/08/2016 08:59

If it gets better for a while after you speak to the neighbours they obviously do speak to their kids. Initially I'd go back to the parents and explain it's slipped again and you don't like to nag them but can they have another word. Then the first time it happens again shout at them (the kids) Grin so they don't start slipping, and carry on every time it happens. If none of the other neighbours tolerate it there's no reason you need too. Oh and I would also tell the parents about the threats when you moved your car.

CodyKing · 01/08/2016 09:09

OP get yourself a football and kick it their parents wall - invite some friends over for a friendly match!

Seriously speak to the parents - ask nicely and explain the bad language and insults.

Then say I don't want to involve the local police but I will if they persist. I have a right to quite enjoyment of my property.

Nanny0gg · 01/08/2016 09:44

I say again - community police officer.

PersianCatLady · 01/08/2016 14:55

Next ball that bounces into your garden keep
If the parents of the kids are OK with that you can do that but if the parents want to be difficult they are entitled to call the police if you don't give it back to the kids when they ask for it.

This has actually happened to me and it makes me so mad that they have broken flowers and are in the process of breaking my fence but if I don't give their football back I can be done for theft.

PersianCatLady · 01/08/2016 14:59

ask to have a sign banning ball games on that area
These signs on public space are a request not a byelaw and for that reason they are totally unenforceable.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 01/08/2016 15:06

I'd tell the parents about the threats to damage your car, either face to face or in writing. I'd also tell them that you've informed the police about the threat of damage and will press them to follow up if any occurs.
If the brats aren't bothering any other neighbours but you, they aren't as hard as they think and the other neighbours must have been firmer.

Chattymummyhere · 01/08/2016 15:28

You could always try a motion sensor sprinkler. Sure they will get fed up of getting soaked every time. If anyone asks you where fed up of cats.

Meluzyna · 01/08/2016 15:35

You have my sympathy, OP - in our street there are no front gardens - the garages are part of the house and the doors open directly onto the pavement. It's not actually a cul-de-sac, but it's a quiet road.
The brats from next door but one (and their assembled friends) kick their ball up against the walls and garage doors with a reverberating "thud" quite a lot. The noise drives us wild.... they've been doing it for years and a couple of years ago they actually broke one of our garage "porthole" windows.... I yanked the door open to confront the culprit - and found a small female holding the ball and looking shifty but claiming that it wasn't her. (Perhaps the older ones had thrust it into her hand and scarpered?)
"Yeah, right" I snarled, "the window just broke itself, then,".
We replaced the window and said we'd present the parents with the bill, but we never did - no "proof".
So it goes on - year after year. We yell at them when they get too close to our car (one garage, two cars, no driveway) and once I managed to snaffle a ball that bounced against the garage when I had the door partly open - I think they spent several minutes looking under parked cars for that.... I put it in the bin.
My husband tells them to take the ball to the local playing field, but presumably that's too much like hard work.

Mel, Evil Witch Angry

scootinFun · 01/08/2016 15:39

I am a big believe of planting lots of delightfully thorny roses in a situation like this. You'd be amazed how quickly their enthusiasm fades when wading through briars....

maninawomansworld01 · 01/08/2016 18:19

Just be harder over it.
A friend of mine lived in a similar cul-de-sac when we were kids. The one end would have been perfect to play in but none of the local kids did.
There was a woman who lived there who would go NUTS if the ball went on her garden. In the summer she would leave her front door ajar and the moment she saw a ball come over the fence she would sprint out with a kitchen knife, burst it and lob it back with a mouthful of abuse.

Strangely it didn't take too many burst balls for the local kids to just stay away.

PersianCatLady · 01/08/2016 18:40

she saw a ball come over the fence she would sprint out with a kitchen knife
The PC that dealt with me said that however tempting that approach would be as if I did damage one of the kids' footballs and their parents insisted she would have to arrest me for criminal damage.

As I am typing this I am looking at the punctured football in my garden that the kids threw over (already punctured) and wondering if this is what is going to happen.

However I have not touched the ball at all as if there is any problems I can say that the ball came over like that and if they want to waste money by fingerprinting it and me then they are more than welcome.

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 01/08/2016 18:45

Can you suddenly develop a love for growing holly bushes or something equally prickly?

LotsOfShoes · 01/08/2016 19:17

Sprinklers with sensors so they go off every tome the ball is in your garden/they come in to pick it up?

CodyKing · 01/08/2016 19:29

Can you put up a goal?

Miserable OP - go and be goal keeper!! Save the windows and plants and a free work out!! Grin

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