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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't let dc kill ants, ladybirds, etc./scare birds, cats, etc.

88 replies

user1469643462 · 31/07/2016 21:52

I'm probably going to get people telling me that I'm being OTT, but is just me or does anyone else get a bit annoyed when you see dc chasing birds or clapping at cats or even to the point where dc wack cats with things and parents are just standing there doing nothing? Or where dc see how many ants they can kill, wtaf? Is it just me?

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 31/07/2016 22:56

I have been known to read the riot act to children who deliberately harm creatures. The last one was gleefully stamping on bees.

I don't squash anything. Wasps get rescued and released back outside. I love spiders. I regularly rescue things from the bath and always check before I run any water.

RowenaDahl · 31/07/2016 23:03

YANBU

We were in the US a few years ago and a kid was throwing stones at the ducks. His parents were nearby and he was old enough to know better.

We were a bit of a distance away but I was so enranged that I shouted at the top of my voice, "STOP THROWING STONES AT THOSE DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Very out of character for me and DH nearly died but i felt I had to do it.

TortoiseVTurtle · 31/07/2016 23:05

I hate seeking children chasing pigeons or anything- there is no hierarchy for me. You have to be a really nasty person to think that scaring or harassing any living creature is okay.

HexBramble · 31/07/2016 23:06

Not OTT at all OP.

amprev · 31/07/2016 23:08

I extend this to plants, trees and flowers too - we have a beautiful tree on our road which does have temptingly peel bark on its trunk. A boy from dd's class was stood just peeling bark off when we walked past last week and I asked him to stop. Someimes on a dog walk one of my dc's may pull at a leaf on a bush or tree as we're walking past and I ask them not to and we talk about how it is a living thing. Maybe I should be a Buddhist and carry a broom around with me to avoid stepping on any mites or insects.

NeedAnotherGlass · 31/07/2016 23:10

I had boys, they were very interested in insects. We had an ant farm and a woodlice run. They were never really the type to go stamping on ants, but lots of the insects died in the process of being handled or housed. I can't say I ever worried about that.

LittleLionMansMummy · 31/07/2016 23:13

Yanbu. I try not to let ds see me killing wasps. Mostly because I take a little bit of sadistic pleasure in my work. Everything else gets to live peacefully alongside us.

sparechange · 31/07/2016 23:22

Good grief,you lot must read a lot of Beatrix Potter. An insane amount of anthropomorphism going on in this thread

Big reveal... Pigeons and ducks have wings. If they are bothered by something like a toddler running amongst them, they can fly away. If they half-heartedly flap or paddle a few metres away, they really aren't scared. It is the pigeon equivalent of lifting your legs up when a crawling baby heads towards you in the sitting room

If you're going to kill something, you have a duty to do so quickly and efficiently, so laying slow and painful poison isn't nice. But squishing an ant? People get upset about that?
Do you fret when you see a bird pulling up worms or bugs to leave in the nest for chicks who may or may not eat them?

Crunchymum · 31/07/2016 23:23

There is a very friendly cat who frequents the local park. It's very docile, comes to anyone who calls it.

Saw a kid who was about 8 or 9 trying to kick it as I walked past with my kids.... stopped and watched. No parents came forward. Waited a good few minutes before I went in and told him to stop..suddenly mum appeared. Was it my cat? No what the fuck did it have to do with me then? She actually said that!!! I had my 3.8yo and 18mo with me so clearly had to measure my response but managed to get my point across without calling her an evil cunt

Park is staffed so I also reported her!!

molyholy · 31/07/2016 23:24

Yanbu. I habe a bit of a fear of anything with wings including always ultra and when kids chase birda in town centres and I am nearby, I literally cower.

We have instilled in dd how would she like it if something 50 x your size ran after you aggresively.

We always catch spiders and set them free.

Dd is an animal lover so would rather attract cats, ladybirds etc than scare them away.

buuuut, flies must die. Sorry.

TortoiseVTurtle · 31/07/2016 23:27

It's not about the birds ability to fly , it's about teaching your DC that it's not okay to chase or kick it Hmm

BrianButterfield · 31/07/2016 23:33

I am really not much of an animal lover but I will not let DC be cruel to anything, even a spider. (Although I do squash flies if necessary though I prefer to let them out of the windows).

amprev · 01/08/2016 10:23

sparechange I have no problem a bird eating a worm. Another example, I loathe slugs, borderline phobia I think because they make me feel sick when I see them. Am also a keen gardener so have to sick it up (eeeeeewwww, not literally). I still wouldn't use any of the methods to try and eradicate them from the garden that cause them an agonising death though, not because I believe they are capable of human thought, but because I am, and I know this would be a shitty thing to do, when there are alternatives. I use garlic to keep them off stuff and also do what I can encourage birds to my garden and they are my slug removal team. I don't think a bird pulling up a worm is comparable to being upset at the sight of a kid stamping on ladybirds, out of curiosity to see what happens. I think the hidden should be discouraged and find something to do that doesn't involve death!

amprev · 01/08/2016 10:24

So many autocorrects - soz.

Atinybittiredandsad · 01/08/2016 10:43

Totally agree op. Horrible behaviour.

My dd now 17 rescued a tiny fly from her drink and blew on the wings for ages to dry them out. He flew away after about 30 mins. Grin

SarcasmMode · 01/08/2016 10:46

Um spare the difference w that a bird doesn't have the mental capacity to understand cruelty, plus it's doing it for survival. Stamping on a bug doesn't keep you alive, does it?

Nearly everyone I know kills spiders/flies etc and I hate it.

I had to kill a fly a while back as DD goes hysterical when one is in the room and I couldn't reach it to chuck it out. I hate having to be cruel to any animal and people who gleefully do it aren't nice people IME.

Different to shoo a cat away as its not harming the cat or just flapping your arms to get a bird away from you but actively harming/scaring - why?

Differenct of course if said animal is being violent, mind you.

namegamechanger · 01/08/2016 10:46

One

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/08/2016 10:51

Hmm, I hate pigeons, they're stinky flying rats, I'm quite happy to let my (any) child run after them and scare them.

They may be stinky flying rats to you but they still have feelings. Any child I saw doing that would be told off, I don't care if they're not mine.

I once told a child off for throwing things at a nesting swan and trying to get close to it. With hindsight letting an angry swan have a go at him would have been more effective!

Nabootique · 01/08/2016 10:52

I totally agree. I see the chasing pigeons thing all the time. DD actually asked why she wasn't allowed to when other children were, which was a tough one to explain.

Mari50 · 01/08/2016 10:52

I'm not sure what kind of dozy pigeons live where the PP's live but my DD couldn't get within kicking distance of one. Chasing them out of the way is fine imo because they are essentially flying rats.

NeedACleverNN · 01/08/2016 10:53

I live in a rural town and the pidgeons come right up to your feet begging for food. They will even take the food from your hand and recognise people who come everyday to feed them.

You can get close enough to hurt them if you so wished which is why I told that child off

RufusTheReindeer · 01/08/2016 10:54

I agree

Ds2 is still very annoyed that dd killed a flying ant

On holiday

7 years ago...

It still comes up in conversation...she was 7

BorpBorpBorp · 01/08/2016 11:04

No. Why let them waste their time killing ants when they could be stomping on slugs and snails?

Thequilltosurvive · 01/08/2016 11:07

I don't think anyone should deliberately hurt an animal but I'm a massive advocate of trying to scare away cats that shit in my garden. DH is not above using a Super Soaker for this purpose. My DS plays in my garden and I want it to be clean and safe - not owning a pet is a choice I made precisely because I don't want to have to clean up their shit. I'll stop scaring them away the day their owners start coming round to remove their crap.

KeepitDown · 01/08/2016 11:46

I agree with the previous poster who said it is not so much about the animal (although I do believe they have their own worth), but about teaching your DC mindful, considerate action.

I do not put tanimals in the same category as human beings (I eat them for one thing), but that does not mean they have no feelings, or that there is zero worth in their life.

But more than that, I don't think it is right to allow children (or adults) to indulge cruel or sadistic impulses for pleasure, no matter how little the worth of the life involved.

I also wouldn't allow my children to be destructive, and to (for example) rip up an old book just because they liked destroying it. That has nothing to do with the book having any feelings, but everything to do with not nourishing such impulses in human beings.