Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have thought this was really inappropriate? WIBU to have shouted at woman in the supermarket?

53 replies

justnotaballetmum · 31/07/2016 20:51

I was doing some gardening today and so obviously had on old clothes. I was wearing black leggings with a bleach stain on the back of them; not a massive stain.

At around 3:30 I realised I needed to get some bits from the supermarket so shot there quickly.

As I was queueing to pay I felt someone GRAB me just below my bottom. I was obviously really startled and turned around in shock and this woman repeatedly slapped at me and I leaped away in alarm, with a Shock look and she said "oh, you have got something on your trousers" Hmm

AIBU to think that she was completely, utterly inappropriate? I'm still quite angry to be honest.

OP posts:
Nabootique · 01/08/2016 10:00

YANBU. I think everyone has an urge to tuck in a label/pluck a stray hair from a shoulder, etc., not and then but you don't act on it. I showed remarkable restraint at work last week when colleague in front of me had a ripe blackhead on show on her back, but did I squeeze it? No, I did not. I would have patted myself on the back had I not been sitting on my hands.

Salmotrutta · 01/08/2016 10:02
Grin I know it's not funny really and I would have taken massive umbrage too OP but I often have to sit on my hands to stop myself adjusting pupils ties/picking fluff off their jumpers/zipping up their jackets etc.
Comtesse · 01/08/2016 10:12

Unwanted touching by a stranger? Time to turn into Full On Fishwife. No ywnbu to scream in her face obviously (can't really believe you have to ask!)

mrsfuzzy · 01/08/2016 10:39

why has sexual assault even been mentioned ? that is sexual contact with out consent, having power and control over the victim, sexual molestation, rape etc, whether it was a man or woman being the aggressor [probably missing the point here], but there are plenty of us who have been the victims of ACTUAL sexual assault who will find it used in the context of this thread bloody annoying Angry.

Shizzlestix · 01/08/2016 10:48

Common assault, arrest able offence: ranges from putting one finger on someone to what we would all say was 'assault' ie hitting. No-one has the right to touch you and I would have freaked out.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 01/08/2016 10:58

Years ago I was at a market with a friend. She reached over to grab something and her trousers were down a bit low - you could see maybe a wee bit of bum crack. Some random woman walked up to her and pulled her pants up! Really got her fingers in there. I was shocked and appalled but my friend thought it was a really sweet and caring thing for her to have done. It made me feel a bit bad to have seen it in such a negative light. No harm done at the end of the day. I can understand the shock though, OP.

VioletBam · 01/08/2016 11:30

YANBU! I HATE it when people touch me in places that are personal!

I was in a market the other week...a craft market...I was chatting to a mate who had a stall there...so I was standing between her stall and another lady;s stall.

The other lady wanted to get out of her stall so she fucking GRABBED me firmly by the waist, and began to squeeze past me BEHIND me with her stomach all pushed up against my arse! Had this taken a second or two I might not have been so affected but the space was too small...she had not said "Excuse me can you move" and I never even knew she wanted to get past till she was pressing on me!

It took TOO LONG and there she was, jammed up against me..squeezing my waist with her guts in my arse and back.

She was a large woman and it honestly felt like sexual assault. I tried to move but she had me firmly...so I had no choice but to sort of shove back into her and make her stagger a bit into her own table.

Weird bitch.

VioletBam · 01/08/2016 11:31

MrsFuzzy but you don't know the woman in the supermarket DID NOT have those feelings in her mind and used the stain as an excuse!

logosthecat · 01/08/2016 11:38

YWBU to shout, because the most effective weapon in the arsenal when it comes to people being unpleasantly overfamiliar is to drip with cold, hard ice at them. Instantly sets up a boundary.Grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 11:42

What is wrong with a tap on the shoulder and an excuse me, before passing on relevant information?

I HATE when people touch me, including a tap on the shoulder. If you really MUST get involved, then just say excuse me. If they don't hear you, then you have at least tried. What other people look like doesn't really cross my radar, I wouldn't notice labels sticking out etc, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't put them back in.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 11:43

And those of you who DO resist the urge to mess with a stranger's clothing - Thank you!! Believe me, it is much appreciated.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 01/08/2016 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 11:59

If in doubt, don't touch! You won't distress a stranger by keeping your hands off them, but you may well upset them by touching them!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 01/08/2016 12:01

Touching a stranger, on a private place suddenly and without permission, with some force as well, not ok.

Screaming, shouting with horror and shock totally normal reaction to have. And yes, I'd feel somewhat violated too. It sounds weird, over stepping boundaries and the grabbing/swatting motion sounds horrid. Shudders.

(Quiet voice) Let's not play assault top trumps and just support each other?

VioletBam · 01/08/2016 12:12

On a lighter note I was once slapped on the arse in a supermarket and I leapt about 5 feet in the air and yelled HOW DARE YOU only to turn around and see a little boy of about 18 months smiling at me!

His Mother was so embarrassed. Of course he had no idea what he was about and I was just happy he didn't cry at my reaction! It might have taught him not to do it in future though!

UnderCrackers5 · 01/08/2016 12:22

A bleach stain on black leggings can often look like one of those olde big white five pound notes. She is probably a coin collector going to a convention in the Costwolds next weekend and was let down by a dealer who has failed to locate a note. Imagine her delight when she thought she saw one sticking out of your bum. And her disappointment when she realised all she was getting was a gob full.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 01/08/2016 12:31

Maybe a flying bug landed on the bleach stain so she actually was swotting it away and was so effective that by the time you started shouting the bug had swooped off to bother someone else Grin
tbh I could see my DM doing something like that. She's so used to looking after DCs and GDCs that she'd do it unconsciously and only realise when someone started shouting at her.

UnderCrackers5 · 01/08/2016 12:44

Do you remember in ALIEN when John Hurt got that thing stuck on his face and died later ? Maybe she though it was a bum-Alien, and she was saving your life

trafalgargal · 01/08/2016 13:16

Ah but if it was an arse eating flesh eater bug she'd have done you a massive favour. Stop overthinking it ....and next time take two minutes to change before going out.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 13:27

Stop overthinking it ....and next time take two minutes to change before going out.

Yeah op - because people have a perfect right to touch you if you are dressed a certain way Hmm

It's never acceptable to touch randomers without a bloody good reason, regardless of whether it is sexual or not.

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 01/08/2016 13:45

No, it isn't Livia

I know a couple of label grabbers and people who try to tuck those ribbons on clothing back and I find it really rude.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 13:50

kate I was being sarcastic in light of trafalgar's ridiculous post

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/08/2016 13:51

Sorry you were agreeing with me Blush

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 01/08/2016 14:56

I was, yes :)

myownprivateidaho · 01/08/2016 15:53

I would have thought she thought it was something on you -- maybe an insect?

Swipe left for the next trending thread