To have cold feet...

[Anna6567]

Have name changed and contemplated posting on relationships board but hoping to get as much honest and helpful feedback as possible...

I'm getting married in 5 weeks and am having serious doubts - I just seem to be struggling to see the good in my FI and just see all the bad habits and things I don't know if I can live with forever.

I take marriage very seriously and know that this could be causing me additional unease as extra pressure but I just can't help but shake the feeling that something is wrong - surely it's not reasonable to be having these doubts before we are even married?

I feel like I'm pushing my FI away as I don't know how to process these thoughts but when I think of the wedding I feel very unsettled and a sense of dread - but can't pinpoint why - he's a great guy but I just worry there are some major differences there that I've ignored for the last 8 years that we've been together but that now it's almost official , I'm thinking of all these things and picking holes in everything.

Anyone experienced these feelings and willing to share any outcomes?

My husband is shy

I have one shy child. And one child who is really really out going

Personally would hate to be with Somone just like me

I think you have probably been happy to plod along and now a wedding has made you stop and question the rest of your life!!

Have you discussed this with any RL friends who know you as a couple?

What do your parents think?

I wouldn't describe it as introverted, but my DP is also not as organised as me eg. He will do stuff at some point whereas I do it now. I feel like I end up doing more but in reality it's because I am impatient and that is a flaw in me, not him. He doesn't do it out of laziness it's just how he rolls, equally that chilled out persona helps rub off on me when I'm stressed.

We get married in a few weeks too and I don't have any doubts. As much as DP isn't Brad Pitt or some insanely organised take control and sort things kind of person, he'd move the earth for me and that's why I love him. I don't know why he puts up with me tbh, I annoy me.

cody I think that's it - I've been happy enough plodding along but now the realisation that this is for life has made me reassess where I am and where I want to be - I have been planning the wedding and just been swept along with that which is why it's so late in the day that this has just hit me and the fear is just overwhelming.

I just don't know what's normal and what's not to feel - I really don't want to make a mistake for both our sakes but no matter what, I'm clearly not ready for this.

I have spoken to him about it and he is very supportive in me taking the time to do some soul searching which makes me feel even guiltier.

We are best friends and that's why it's been so easy to go along as we are happy - I just feel ill always have to be the social one and also he relies on me for a lot of support (socialising and I worry about him a lot) and I wonder sometimes if I can handle that for the rest of my life

Trust your instincts, I went ahead when there was some really serious issues and chose to ignore my gut and it has cost me dearly .